James A. Sutherland wrote:
> Similarly, as I get to
> know someone, I might start finding her attractive. I'm not quite sure
> what to do at that point, so I just run away and hide.
And that gets you nowhere. :)
Try just being friendly. Try just being /friends/. There's no reason you
can't be friends with someone you find attractive.
In fact, a hell of a lot of people who are generally-attractive have
a problem - noone's willing to be friends with them!
> However, when I first meet someone (male or female)
> I DO wonder how they feel towards me.
That's very easy: they don't. They've only just met you.
The most anyone could possibly have of you is a
first-impression. And we all know that they change.
One of the very hardest things for me is when someone I've just met
says 'can we be friends?'. What do I say? 'I don't know, I've only just
met you' is honest, but when I've tried it it's really upset them. They
seem to want a 'no' or a 'yes' - and I don't KNOW that.
Be patient. *I* never know how I feel about someone I've just met.
I assume that noone else does, either. ('love-at-first-sight' cases
excepted.)
>>> Eh? How can someone *thinking* something about you put you in an awful
>>> situation?! Surely they would have to ACT on those thoughts in some
>>> way for you even to know about them?!
>>
>> Is this an honest question or are you intentionally pretending to
>> be stupid?
>
>
> Unless I've suddenly developed telekinetic powers, my thoughts cannot
> affect others in any way. You only see what I *DO*, not what I think.
But what you think comes out in what you do, in subtle and unconscious
ways. And THAT is what we're reacting to.
Jenn V.
--
"Do you ever wonder if there's a whole section of geek culture
you miss out on by being a geek?" - Dancer.
[EMAIL PROTECTED] Jenn Vesperman http://www.simegen.com/~jenn/
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