James A. Sutherland wrote:
>> And I don't like people condoning it terribly much, it's put me in some
>> awful situations.
>
>
> Eh? How can someone *thinking* something about you put you in an awful
> situation?! Surely they would have to ACT on those thoughts in some
> way for you even to know about them?!
Believe me, it SHOWS.
Let's give some examples:
I've learned not to meet a man's eyes on public transport. I learned it
the hard way - I was about fifteen.
I was helpful to an old guy (Ok, I thought he was old at the time), and
told him which train was coming. Got on the train myself, and sat down.
Smiled to him when he got on too, just to acknowledge his existence. He
took it for an invitation, and sat down beside me. At that point, I felt
'whatever'. I don't mind chatting to people.
But I *DID* mind his constantly putting his hand on my knee. Or higher
up the thigh. Most unpleasant. Icky. I kept picking it up and putting it
back on his side of the seat. And glaring, and trying to politely tell
him he was most unwelcome. (Nowadays, I'd speak up. Loudly. And move.
But I was fifteen, and uncertain.)
Less obvious, and less physical, is when you're trying to behave
professionally, and you keep noticing men's eyes on your legs, or your
chest, instead of at your face. It disrupts your concentration - and
presumably, theirs. How the *hell* are you supposed to give a
presentation on their new whatever system when they're treating you like
a Booth Babe?
(Besides, you just blew fifty dollars on that skirt because it skimmed
past the hips rather than tugging on them - trying for the
professionally-discreet look. And it hasn't worked, dammit!)
Or the guys who keep stepping just a touch too close, and you keep
stepping back, and you wind up cornered by a desk. And you can't quite
SAY anything because he's not DOING anything .. except intruding on your
space.
And yes, this happens to guys too, as a personal-space issue. But when
he's stepping into your space AND talking to your chest, it's not JUST
different cultures.
Or just turns of phrase. I can't give clear examples, but there's a
different way of speaking to someone you're considering as a bed partner.
Hm. Here's possibly the best answer. I'm sure you can tell when
someone's not really listening to you. So can we. And combine that with
the directions of their glance, and we can tell what they're listening
to....
Jenn V.
--
"Do you ever wonder if there's a whole section of geek culture
you miss out on by being a geek?" - Dancer.
[EMAIL PROTECTED] Jenn Vesperman http://www.simegen.com/~jenn/
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