Snarfblat wrote:
>
> There was an interesting discussion brought up in this thread
> that made me wonder...
>
> At what point is flirting / sexual attraction / et all perceived
> as sexism?
There's a couple of factors which - to me - differentiate between
flirtation and it not being FUN anymore...
Whether you call 'not being fun anymore' harassment, sexism, or
whatever else, I don't care. Any of them spoil it.
1. Entitlement.
If either party feels as if (or projects that) sie is /entitled/ to
flirtation, sex, seduction (or anything else); it's *CREEPY*.
2. Power.
If one party has power over the other - financial, managerial,
uni-results, force of personality - then it becomes terribly,
terribly awkward for the one without power.
(Exception: some people like to play this dynamic as a game.
Provided they both /choose/ to do it, freely, it's fun.)
3. Preconceptions.
It's incredibly, terribly annoying to go to any sort of geek
event and be perceived as a groupie. Yes, I'm female. Yes, I'm
blonde. Yes, I keep myself as trim as possible. But dammit,
I don't keep myself trim to be perceived as a /groupie/.*
Sometimes I'm tempted to dye myself brunette just to differentiate
myself from the dyed-blonde eyelash flutterers. But I'd never bother
to keep it up.
Dammit, I wish some men (many are fine, there's just some who aren't)
would wait for me to do the eyelash-fluttering before dismissing
me. I don't like having to prove that I know what ethernet is.
Um. Forgive the rant. Looks like I've faced the preconceptions
one too often. :/
Hm. I think the trick to not being perceived as sexist is to
get to know the person /as a person/, before flirting with them.
Prove to them that you /do/ believe they know the difference between
cat5 and 10baseT. Then flirt while handing them screws and letting
them install your new ethernet card.
(* if anyone's interested in why, there's diabetes in my family.
I'd like to not have to stick myself with needles, thank you!)
Jenn V.
--
"We're repairing the coolant loop of a nuclear fusion reactor.
This is women's work!"
Helix, Freefall. http://www.purrsia.com/freefall/
Jenn Vesperman [EMAIL PROTECTED] http://www.simegen.com/~jenn
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