On Tue, 20 Mar 2001, psyche wrote:
> I wonder if the guys just tend to bull ahead with answers, and more women
> second-guess themselves--that seems to be a common pattern of how men and
> women react in general. I know I do this myself quite a bit. I'm not a
I've noticed this too...women ask, men answer. I'm not criticizing
this...just observing. I think psyche's right that it is just another
manifestation of our differences. Another thing I've noticed on the
women's tech mailing lists I belong to is that women frequently begin
their information seeking posts with something like, "This is a really
dumb question, but..." Now why do we do that? I know I've been guilty of
it in my own ways.
When I still knew very little about Linux and UNIX in general, I was
terribly intimidated. I had this huge learning curve in front of me and
had to go to men for help. My perception at the time was that they were
barricading the door with an, "I'd explain it to you, but you'd never
understand" attitude. Now I know that this perception was based on the
fear I was feeling at the time. I still feel like I'm coming from behind
and always will. The more I learn, the more I realize that there is to
know. I will always be afraid that my questions are dumb. And, in fact,
they always will be to someone several miles ahead of me on the road.
I think that the men who subscribe to women's lists should not be
told how to modify their behavior in order to fit in. I belong to
another list where one of the women soundly chastizes men who jump in with
answers to tech questions before any of the women have had a chance to
respond. I've always thought it was kind of funny. In my mind I pictured
a little boy with his hand raised, saying, "Oh, oh, I know, I know. Call
on me." and a little old lady with an umbrella wrapping him on top of his
head. Mailing lists are so dramatic, aren't they?
Women's tech lists are not for all men. I've never encountered an
atmosphere where I felt that the guys were trying to invade and take over.
But I've always been curious as to why the men who are here have
subscribed. How did you expect to benefit from subscribing? Or did you
think that your presence here would be more to our (women's) benefit? I
know that sounds snippy, but I don't mean it that way. I really would
like to know.
Nancy
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