On Mon, 7 Aug 2000, Deirdre Saoirse wrote:
> The fact is that women PENALIZE THEMSELVES and that it is, to a large
> degree, a choice.
I disagree. We are brought up, educated, socialised in a sexist
environment. It pisses me off no end how socialised I have been.
Boys are taught to value themselves, to put themselves forward, to ask
high and be negotiated downwards. Girls are taught to listen first, to
encourage others, to be modest and that others will look after their
interests for them. (Which type is of more value and more productive in a
team structure is open for a different debate)
I agree that women are often the ones that do themselves out of the
oppurtunities, when they have them, but often this is as a result of the
sexist society we were born into.
However there is also a male culture that offers blokes promotions and
high salaries rather than women, espec the more feminine ones.
And women can be the worst for maintaining the status quo, by treating the
go-get-em-gals (TM) as scrape-off-shoe material.
It is a bloody complex problem, but it does exist, and it does harm
individuals and society, by reducing the potential productivity and input
to 50% of the potential.
I have found that when at my bravest and most demanding I have received
what I wanted. At one pay review my boss (a wonderful man who berated me
for my humility during a project early in my career, and sat me down for a
couple of hours during a very hectic and late stage in the release
schedule because I had apologised for failing. He recognised that I felt
out of my depth and told me why they had hired me, and lots of hard to
describe things about self development and pushing myself forward, and
being proactive etc. Stuff that helps me still now.), where was I, oh
yes, so he asked me what I was expecting. This freaked me out - my
inclination being to accept what I was offered, so I pondered for a while,
and decided what the hell, and said a lot more than I had expected to get.
To my amazement he agreed with me, and I received the raise. This is
partly why men get more - they ask for more - and this is a product of how
we are brought up, which is gender dependent.
In England (which is all I have to go on) there is such a difference
between women educated single-sex and mixed. I went to a mixed school,
and the way I was treated during Maths classes (which I was good at) still
scares me. That was 10 years ago, and I still feel the effects. It was
both girls and boys who ostrasised me, who only spoke to me when they
wanted to copy my homework, who made me feel nerdy, and produced this
awkward, nervous, stumbling, pathetic figure of a woman who is only now
learning how to make suggestions and be forward during team meetings. I
was not like this before I went to high school, and a certain environment
suggestive of high school can turn back the years and knock the wind out
of me still today.
In summary (because I have rambled) the quantitative, meterable
differences between women and men in the professional world can be
attributed to the sexist society we were raised in.
Lets never stop fighting for a better world for our daughters.
æ
--
"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage."
Anais Nin
Public Key : http://www.sei.ukshells.co.uk/pubkey.txt
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