Hi, Eric and *AD (Paul or Deb).

Eric, thank you for making the additional updates and for the latest XML file!  
We have follow-up items for you and for the AD, as flagged below.

* AD:  It is difficult for us to determine whether or not some of the new 
updates to this document might be considered "beyond editorial".  Please review 
the following, and let us know any concerns.

1. update to Section 2.1, Paragraph 3 (re. LeafNode)
2. updated "... used only once, and init_key ..." sentence in Section 5.1
3. new Recommendation near the end of Section 5.1
4. update to the "A policy for when two credentials" bullet in Section 7
5. removal of the last paragraph of Section 8.1.4
6. change from "to attack forward security" to "to attack post-compromise 
security" in Section 8.4.2
7. new Section 8.6 ("No Protection against Replay by Insiders")


Eric:  A few follow-up items for you:

1. Should 'rotation of "last resort" KeyPackage.' be 'rotation of the "last 
resort" KeyPackage.'?

2. Apologies for missing this earlier:  Should "ciphersuite" be "cipher suite" 
in running text, per usage in RFC 9420,
   or OK to leave as is?

3. Regarding "A Delivery Service (DS), which can receive and distribute messages
     between group members.  In the case of group messaging, the
     delivery service ...":
  Would you like "delivery service" to be "Delivery Service" (which we still 
see used several times elsewhere) or "DS"?
  (We also see "Authentication Service" spelled out in Sections 8.4.3 and 
8.4.3.1.)

4. Should "prevents selective attack on" be "prevents selective attacks on"?

5. Should "Handshake or application message" be "handshake or application 
message", per "handshake" as used elsewhere?

6. As we are now following CMOS guidance to initial-capitalize prepositions of 
five or more letters in titles,
   would you consider changing "against" to "Against" in "No Protection against 
Replay by Insiders"?

We have posted the latest files here.  Please refresh your browser:

   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9750.txt
   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9750.pdf
   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9750.html
   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9750.xml
   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9750-diff.html
   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9750-rfcdiff.html (side by side)
   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9750-auth48diff.html
   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9750-auth48rfcdiff.html (side by side)

   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9750-xmldiff1.html
   https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9750-xmldiff2.html

Thanks again!

RFC Editor/lb

> On Mar 26, 2025, at 1:04 PM, Eric Rescorla <e...@rtfm.com> wrote:
> 
> I have now completed my review and made final edits. All open issues for this 
> version are closed.
> 
> The updated XML can be found at:
> https://github.com/mlswg/mls-architecture/blob/main/rfc9750-draft.xml
> 
> -Ekr
> 
> 
> On Tue, Mar 25, 2025 at 8:42 AM Lynne Bartholomew 
> <lbartholo...@staff.rfc-editor.org> wrote:
> Hi, Eric.
> 
> Many thanks for addressing our questions and making the file updates!  We'll 
> look forward to hearing from you after you've done your final review.
> 
> RFC Editor/lb
> 
> > On Mar 24, 2025, at 2:10 PM, Eric Rescorla <e...@rtfm.com> wrote:
> > 
> > Update:
> > I have now gone through and addressed all the RPC comments and updated the 
> > relevant XML and md accordingly.
> > 
> > My next step will be to actually read the document top to bottom for final 
> > review.
> > 
> > -Ekr
> > 
> > 
> > On Mon, Mar 3, 2025 at 8:59 AM Lynne Bartholomew 
> > <lbartholo...@staff.rfc-editor.org> wrote:
> > Hi, Eric.  So noted.  Thank you!
> > 
> > RFC Editor/lb
> > 
> > > On Mar 3, 2025, at 6:03 AM, Eric Rescorla <e...@rtfm.com> wrote:
> > > 
> > > I have created issues corresponding to the inline RPC comments/questions 
> > > and have tagged Lynn in them so she can see progress.
> > > 
> > > -Ekr
> > > 
> > > 
> > > On Wed, Feb 26, 2025 at 9:51 AM Jean Mahoney 
> > > <jmaho...@staff.rfc-editor.org> wrote:
> > > Eric,
> > > 
> > > On 2/25/25 3:14 PM, Eric Rescorla wrote:
> > > > Update:
> > > > 
> > > > I have backported the copy-edit changes I approve of and reverted the 
> > > > rest in the XML, which can be found here:
> > > > 
> > > > https://github.com/mlswg/mls-architecture/pull/273 <https://github.com/ 
> > > > mlswg/mls-architecture/pull/273>
> > > > https://github.com/ekr/mls-architecture/blob/merge_rpc_comments/rfc9750-
> > > >  
> > > > draft.xml <https://github.com/ekr/mls-architecture/blob/ 
> > > > merge_rpc_comments/rfc9750-draft.xml>
> > > > 
> > > > I will next go through the RPC's substantive questions and file GitHub 
> > > > issues for each of them so we can work through them. Is there someone 
> > > > you would like tagged on these issues?
> > > 
> > > Lynne Bartholomew will be the RFC Editor handling this document's 
> > > AUTH48. Her GitHub username is lbartholomew-rpc.
> > > 
> > > Best regards,
> > > Jean
> > > 
> > > > 
> > > > -Ekr
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > On Tue, Feb 25, 2025 at 9:46 AM Eric Rescorla <e...@rtfm.com 
> > > > <mailto:e...@rtfm.com>> wrote:
> > > > 
> > > >     Per private communication with Alan: a...@duric.net
> > > >     <mailto:a...@duric.net>
> > > > 
> > > >     On Tue, Feb 25, 2025 at 7:50 AM Paul Wouters <paul.wout...@aiven.io
> > > >     <mailto:paul.wout...@aiven.io>> wrote:
> > > > 
> > > >         datatracker says alan.du...@globalipsound.com
> > > >         <mailto:alan.du...@globalipsound.com>, added to CC:
> > > > 
> > > >         Paul
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > >         On Tue, Feb 25, 2025 at 10:47 AM Jean Mahoney
> > > >         <jmaho...@staff.rfc-editor.org <mailto:jmaho...@staff.rfc-
> > > >         editor.org>> wrote:
> > > > 
> > > >             Hi Ekr,
> > > > 
> > > >             On 2/24/25 8:32 PM, Eric Rescorla wrote:
> > > >              >
> > > >              >
> > > >              > On Mon, Feb 24, 2025 at 4:12 PM Jean Mahoney
> > > >             <jmaho...@staff.rfc-
> > > >              > editor.org <http://editor.org>
> > > >             <mailto:jmaho...@staff.rfc-editor.org
> > > >             <mailto:jmaho...@staff.rfc-editor.org>>> wrote:
> > > >              >
> > > >              >     Hi Ekr,
> > > >              >
> > > >              >     On 2/24/25 5:30 PM, Eric Rescorla wrote:
> > > >              >      > Hi folks,
> > > >              >      >
> > > >              >      > This document was prepared in markdown, so it
> > > >             would be much more
> > > >              >      > convenient to do
> > > >              >      > the editorial phase of auth48 in markdown rather
> > > >             than in XML, as I
> > > >              >      > understand has been
> > > >              >      > done for a number of recent documents. I
> > > >             understand that a fair
> > > >              >     amount
> > > >              >      > of work has
> > > >              >      > already happened here, but is there a possibility
> > > >             of getting a
> > > >              >     copy of
> > > >              >      > the markdown
> > > >              >      > with just the copy edit changes?
> > > >              >
> > > >              >     [JM] As draft-ietf-mls-architecture is a long
> > > >             document (41 pages PDF),
> > > >              >     it would be time consuming to port the edits into
> > > >             markdown at this time.
> > > >              >
> > > >              >
> > > >              > Indeed. I've made a repo for the XML [0]. It will take me
> > > >             some time to
> > > >              > backport the changes to the .md file and provide updated 
> > > > XML.
> > > > 
> > > >             [JM] Understood, and the RPC is aiming to accept md as a
> > > >             submission
> > > >             format in the future.
> > > > 
> > > >             Is there another address for Alan Duric? a...@wire.com
> > > >             <mailto:a...@wire.com> bounced.
> > > > 
> > > >             Best regards,
> > > >             Jean
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > >              >
> > > >              > -Ekr
> > > >              >
> > > >              >
> > > >              > [0] https://github.com/ekr/rfc9750 <https://github.com/
> > > >             ekr/rfc9750> <https://github.com/ekr/rfc9750 <https://
> > > >             github.com/ekr/rfc9750>>
> > > >              >
> > > >              >
> > > >              >
> > > >              >     It would be much easier to start edits in markdown in
> > > >             a future
> > > >              >     document.
> > > >              >     If you have another markdown file that will be
> > > >             entering the queue soon,
> > > >              >     please let us know, and we can provide an updated
> > > >             markdown file at the
> > > >              >     beginning of AUTH48 as part of one of our process
> > > >             experiments.
> > > >              >
> > > >              >     Thanks and best regards,
> > > >              >     RFC Editor/jm
> > > >              >
> > > >              >      >
> > > >              >      > -Ekr
> > > >              >      >
> > > >              >      >
> > > >              >      > On Mon, Feb 24, 2025 at 3:16 PM <rfc-editor@rfc-
> > > >             editor.org <mailto:rfc-edi...@rfc-editor.org>
> > > >              >     <mailto:rfc-edi...@rfc-editor.org <mailto:rfc-
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> > > >             <mailto:rfc- <mailto:rfc->>
> > > >              >      > edi...@rfc-editor.org <mailto:editor@rfc-
> > > >             editor.org> <mailto:edi...@rfc-editor.org
> > > >             <mailto:edi...@rfc-editor.org>>>> wrote:
> > > >              >      >
> > > >              >      >     *****IMPORTANT*****
> > > >              >      >
> > > >              >      >     Updated 2025/02/24
> > > >              >      >
> > > >              >      >     RFC Author(s):
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> > > >              >     (e.g.,
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> > > >              >      >     Files
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> > > >              >      >     The files are available here:
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> > > >             <https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9750.html> <https://
> > > >             www.rfc- <https://www.rfc->
> > > >              > editor.org/authors/rfc9750.html <http://editor.org/
> > > >             authors/rfc9750.html>> <https://www.rfc- <https://www.rfc->
> > > >             <https://www.rfc- <https://www.rfc->>
> > > >              >      > editor.org/authors/rfc9750.html <http://
> > > >             editor.org/authors/rfc9750.html> <http://editor.org/authors/
> > > >             <http://editor.org/authors/>
> > > >              >     rfc9750.html>>
> > > >              >      > https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9750.pdf
> > > >             <https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9750.pdf> <https://
> > > >             www.rfc- <https://www.rfc->
> > > >              > editor.org/authors/rfc9750.pdf <http://editor.org/
> > > >             authors/rfc9750.pdf>> <https://www.rfc- <https://www.rfc->
> > > >             <https://www.rfc- <https://www.rfc->>
> > > >              >      > editor.org/authors/rfc9750.pdf <http://editor.org/
> > > >             authors/rfc9750.pdf> <http://editor.org/authors/ <http://
> > > >             editor.org/authors/>
> > > >              >     rfc9750.pdf>>
> > > >              >      > https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9750.txt
> > > >             <https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9750.txt> <https://
> > > >             www.rfc- <https://www.rfc->
> > > >              > editor.org/authors/rfc9750.txt <http://editor.org/
> > > >             authors/rfc9750.txt>> <https://www.rfc- <https://www.rfc->
> > > >             <https://www.rfc- <https://www.rfc->>
> > > >              >      > editor.org/authors/rfc9750.txt <http://editor.org/
> > > >             authors/rfc9750.txt> <http://editor.org/authors/ <http://
> > > >             editor.org/authors/>
> > > >              >     rfc9750.txt>>
> > > >              >      >
> > > >              >      >     Diff file of the text:
> > > >              >      > https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9750-
> > > >             diff.html <https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9750-
> > > >             diff.html> <https://
> > > >              > www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9750-diff.html <http://
> > > >             www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9750-diff.html>> <https://
> > > >              >      > www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9750-diff.html
> > > >             <http://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9750-diff.html>
> > > >             <http://www.rfc- <http://www.rfc->
> > > >              > editor.org/authors/rfc9750-diff.html <http://editor.org/
> > > >             authors/rfc9750-diff.html>>>
> > > >              >      > https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9750-
> > > >             rfcdiff.html <https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9750-
> > > >             rfcdiff.html> <https://
> > > >              > www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9750-rfcdiff.html <http://
> > > >             www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9750-rfcdiff.html>> <https://
> > > >              >      > www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9750-rfcdiff.html
> > > >             <http://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9750-rfcdiff.html>
> > > >             <http://www.rfc- <http://www.rfc->
> > > >              > editor.org/authors/rfc9750-rfcdiff.html <http://
> > > >             editor.org/authors/rfc9750-rfcdiff.html>>> (side by side)
> > > >              >      >
> > > >              >      >     Diff of the XML:
> > > >              >      > https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9750-
> > > >             xmldiff1.html <https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9750-
> > > >             xmldiff1.html>
> > > >              >     <https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9750-
> > > >             xmldiff1.html <https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9750-
> > > >             xmldiff1.html>> <https://
> > > >              >      > www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9750-xmldiff1.html
> > > >             <http://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9750-xmldiff1.html>
> > > >             <http://www.rfc- <http://www.rfc->
> > > >              > editor.org/authors/rfc9750-xmldiff1.html <http://
> > > >             editor.org/authors/rfc9750-xmldiff1.html>>>
> > > >              >      >
> > > >              >      >
> > > >              >      >     Tracking progress
> > > >              >      >     -----------------
> > > >              >      >
> > > >              >      >     The details of the AUTH48 status of your
> > > >             document are here:
> > > >              >      > https://www.rfc-editor.org/auth48/rfc9750
> > > >             <https://www.rfc-editor.org/auth48/rfc9750> <https://
> > > >             www.rfc- <https://www.rfc->
> > > >              > editor.org/auth48/rfc9750 <http://editor.org/auth48/
> > > >             rfc9750>> <https://www.rfc- <https://www.rfc-> <https://
> > > >             www.rfc- <https://www.rfc->>
> > > >              >      > editor.org/auth48/rfc9750 <http://editor.org/
> > > >             auth48/rfc9750> <http://editor.org/auth48/rfc9750 <http://
> > > >             editor.org/auth48/rfc9750>>>
> > > >              >      >
> > > >              >      >     Please let us know if you have any questions.
> > > >              >      >
> > > >              >      >     Thank you for your cooperation,
> > > >              >      >
> > > >              >      >     RFC Editor
> > > >              >      >
> > > >              >      >     --------------------------------------
> > > >              >      >     RFC 9750 (draft-ietf-mls-architecture-15)
> > > >              >      >
> > > >              >      >     Title            : The Messaging Layer
> > > >             Security (MLS)
> > > >              >     Architecture
> > > >              >      >     Author(s)        : B. Beurdouche, E. Rescorla,
> > > >             E. Omara, S.
> > > >              >     Inguva,
> > > >              >      >     A. Duric
> > > >              >      >     WG Chair(s)      : Nick Sullivan, Sean Turner
> > > >              >      >     Area Director(s) : Deb Cooley, Paul Wouters
> > > >              >      >
> > > >              >      >
> > > >              >
> > > > 
> > > 
> > 
> 

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