On Mon, 1 Nov 1999 [EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:
> > Right. What I'm saying is that unless we recognize that this will happen
> > over and over and over and that we need a better sense of deja vu, we'll
> > have other discussions sidetracked and killed.
>
> I think what we might need to do to resolve it is to resolve to ourselves
> NOT TO EXPLAIN things to people who come in late... or who don't understand.
>
> Of course, this is ME saying this - and we've all seen me derail myself
> with long and involved explanations. I think I'm going to have to stop doing
> that and simply go on with the discussion instead - perhaps with a note to
> the individual after an explanation to go check out the archives.
I'm guilty too, but I think this is a good idea.
> Might this help? A resolution on the part of core participants in the
> discussions to stay ON topic...?
You've got my vote.
> > But I think it was more the railroading, the getting sidetracked by
> > comments from men. I think that is a problem of female acculturation that
> > I really hadn't even noticed before.
>
> I have. We /defer/. We're usually unconscious of this deference - but it
> happens in all walks of life (at least in Australia). As soon as a guy
> opens his mouth, we tend to defer our conversation and modify it to be
> more interesting to him.
I have noticed it in women, but never in myself. I was raised by my
father, so got a very light dose of the "girl stuff." Still, it's an
eye-opener. So to speak. Right now, my left eye is shut with antibiotic
goo in it because I have Yet Another Corneal Infection. :(
> Certain classes of men are aware of this and work to avoid it - and we
> have a good selection of men who do that on this list. (THANK YOU!!)
>
> Others may be aware of it and use it, or are unaware of it and just bull
> on with the assumption that if we wanted to speak up we would.
Yep (to both).
> > Chris, I must admit, is also a friend of mine. I wouldn't have
> > suggested he come here because I know him well enough to know the outcome.
> > I don't know why he asked and it still boggles my mind that he thought we
> > would be a sympathetic audience for that sort of question.
>
> Unconscious assumption that women help and defer to men, perhaps?
This would imply that Chris understands people better than he actually
does. :)
--
_Deirdre * http://www.linuxcabal.net * http://www.deirdre.net
"Mars has been a tough target" -- Peter G. Neumann, Risks Digest Moderator
"That's because the Martians keep shooting things down." -- Harlan Rosenthal
<[EMAIL PROTECTED]>, retorting in Risks Digest 20.60
************
[EMAIL PROTECTED] http://www.linuxchix.org
