Deirdre Saoirse wrote:
> Steve Kudlak wrote:
>
> There are a lot of places where differentness *isn't* tolerated and I
> suspect that if you just don't "fit in" that would be uncomfortable. Some
> areas of the country are more formal than others.
One thing to remember is that we cannot change anyone but ourselves. Whether
it's _right_ or _fair_ or _valid_ for other people to have the opinions and
attitudes that they do is - well, meaningless. They have them. We can talk
to them about it, we can alert them to impressions they give off, but we
can't change them. And if we try, we risk being as bad as they are.
Some people enjoy formality, and enjoy dressing up, and really are happy
and comfortable with all the codes and mannerisms that it all entails.
Dressing up to go to the races, or the opera, or to go shopping, makes
them happy. Being in an environment of people who are all dressed up
makes them happy.
So be it. More power to them. Especially if they are content to stay in
their area of the city and leave me to mine - or in the case of the USA,
if they're content to stay in their cities and leave more casual people
to pick their own environments.
It's as unfair for you (Steve) to ask them to just bluntly accept your
clothing, as it is for them to make that judgement. Both are a request
for the other person to change a fundamental part of themselves.
It's much, much fairer simply to shrug, name them (IN YOUR HEAD ONLY)
shallow and surface-obsessed, and go find some more comfortable place
to live. It also marks you as a much more mature person. :)
> I remember when I lived in Raleigh dressing down and going to the mall one
> Sunday only to see everyone in suits! I felt like I really stuck out.
>
> > I had such a bad day today eveything has suffered. Notr the leaast
> > being my spelling and grammar. :)
>
> Btw, it wasn't a flame, merely a comment.
Taking the time to improve your spelling, typing and grammar would
make your letters much more readable. Again, a comment not a flame.
Noone's judging you on the speed with which you process email. :)
Jenn V.
--
Humans are the only species to feed and house entirely separate species
for no reason other than the pleasure of their company. Why?
[EMAIL PROTECTED] Jenn Vesperman http://www.simegen.com/~jenn/
************
[EMAIL PROTECTED] http://www.linuxchix.org
