James, we recently through this process as well. When we wrote our first script we came out at about 1:30 too, and then we were just brutal about getting it as close as we could to around the 1 minute mark. (Which is as long as you'll ever see a TVC so I think that's a pretty reasonable benchmark of where most people's attention span is at).
This was what we arrived at... https://vimeo.com/43248070 Unless you're pitching this at investors, I'd suggest that you've chewed up too much of my attention describing the problem. If you think about the context of where people are likely to click on this, they've probably found the video because they're aware of the problem and they want a solution. The problem your descring in four words is Mobile document security sucks, it is a pretty easy concept for most people to grasp so I'd just be cutting straight to the chase as to how you solve it and what business benefits you deliver. Phil On Fri, Aug 17, 2012 at 11:36 AM, James MacGregor <jsmacgrego...@gmail.com>wrote: > Thanks Rick, will give voicebunny a try, looks good. > > > On Thursday, 16 August 2012 12:38:19 UTC+10, Rick Lee wrote: >> >> Great graphics on the video. As others have said the voice could use >> some improvements. It might be worth finding someone on >> http://voicebunny.com/ to do the voice over. As we've found out at >> castifyapp there is a huge difference in voices and it's really important >> to get the right one! >> >> Fantastic product idea by the way. Hopefully it takes off for you. >> >> Cheers, >> Rick >> >> On Wednesday, 15 August 2012 12:35:55 UTC+10, James MacGregor wrote: >>> >>> Just released an explainer video for a new startup I'm working on: >>> http://vimeo.com/47221542 >>> >>> It's an enterprise product that I'm trying to make a little sexier and >>> startupy. This video is just the first step of a bunch of marketing >>> material to come so I'd really like to know if I'm on track. >>> >>> What I want to know is: >>> - Did you find it interesting or boring? >>> - Do you understand what the product actually does? >>> - Did you actually watch it to the end? (or was it too long) >>> - Did if feel corporate or startupy? >>> >>> Any feedback appreciated. >>> >>> -- >>> James MacGregor >>> >>> (mobile) +61 415996507 >>> (skype) jsmacgregor76 >>> (twitter) @jamessmacgregor <https://twitter.com/#%21/jamessmacgregor> >>> (email) jsmacg...@gmail.com >>> >> -- > You received this message because you are subscribed to the Silicon Beach > Australia mailing list. Vist http://siliconbeachaustralia.org for more > > Forum rules > 1) No lurkers! It is expected that you introduce yourself. > 2) No jobs postings. You can use http://siliconbeachaustralia.org/jobs > > > To post to this group, send email to > silicon-beach-australia@googlegroups.com > To unsubscribe from this group, send email to > silicon-beach-australia+unsubscr...@googlegroups.com > For more options, visit this group at > http://groups.google.com/group/silicon-beach-australia?hl=en?hl=en > -- Phil Sim Chief Executive Officer, MediaConnect Australia Pty Ltd www.mediaconnect.com.au phi...@mediaconnect.com.au Ph: +61 2 9894 6277 Fax: +61 2 8246 6383 Mobile: 0413889940 -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Silicon Beach Australia mailing list. Vist http://siliconbeachaustralia.org for more Forum rules 1) No lurkers! It is expected that you introduce yourself. 2) No jobs postings. You can use http://siliconbeachaustralia.org/jobs To post to this group, send email to silicon-beach-australia@googlegroups.com To unsubscribe from this group, send email to silicon-beach-australia+unsubscr...@googlegroups.com For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/silicon-beach-australia?hl=en?hl=en
