Authors, While reviewing this document during AUTH48, please resolve (as necessary) the following questions, which are also in the XML file.
1) <!--[rfced] This document will be assigned a new BCP number. Please let us know if this is not correct (i.e., it should be part of an existing BCP). See the complete list of BCPs here: https://www.rfc-editor.org/bcps --> 2) <!-- [rfced] FYI: The "sortRefs" and "symRefs" elements were absent in the submitted XML file, so we have added them accordingly. --> 3) <!--[rfced] The short title that spans the top of the PDF file was absent. We were able to fit the full title, so we included it. If any further updates are desired, please let us know. Current (in PDF file): IETF Meeting Venue Requirements Review --> 4) <!-- [rfced] Please insert any keywords (beyond those that appear in the title) for use on https://www.rfc-editor.org/search. --> 5) <!--[rfced] Is this document "proposing" or "providing" updates to RFCs 8718 and 8719? May we update the Abstract's lead-in sentence from "this document proposes updates" to "this document was developed to update" as shown below for clarity? Original: Following a review of the IETF meeting venue requirements, this document proposes updates to RFC 8718 "IETF Plenary Meeting Venue Selection Process", clarifies how the IETF Administration Support Activity (IASA) should interpret some elements of RFC 8718, and proposes a replacement exploratory meeting process, thereby updating RFC 8719 "High-Level Guidance for the Meeting Policy of the IETF". Perhaps: Following a review of the IETF meeting venue requirements, this document was developed to update "IETF Plenary Meeting Venue Selection Process" (RFC 8718), clarify how the IETF Administration Support Activity (IASA) should interpret some elements of RFC 8718, and specify a replacement exploratory meeting process, thereby updating "High-Level Guidance for the Meeting Policy of the IETF" (RFC 8719). --> 6) <!--[rfced] Is "informed" the intended word here or would "communicated" be clearer? Original: The IASA has reviewed the venue selection in light of these developments, primarily informed by the staff who work on venue selection, and has identified a number of issues to be addressed by a combination of updates to those RFCs and clarifications of interpretation. Perhaps: The IASA has reviewed the venue selection in light of these developments, which were primarily communicated by the staff who work on venue selection, and has identified a number of issues to be addressed by a combination of updates to those RFCs and clarifications of interpretation. --> 7) <!--[rfced] The text in Section 2 works off of the section title. To avoid this and the use of a colon in the section title, may we insert a lead-in sentence as shown below? Original: 2. Summary of changes to [RFC8718] and [RFC8719]: 1. Updates the Meeting (Rotation) Policy of [RFC8719] with a new process for the selection of exploratory meetings... Perhaps: 2. Summary of Changes to RFCs 8718 and 8719 This document makes the following changes to [RFC8718] and [RFC8719]: 1. Updates the Meeting (Rotation) Policy specified in [RFC8719] with a new process for the selection of exploratory meetings... --> 8) <!-- [rfced] FYI: We updated the quoted text from RFC 8718 to exactly match (i.e., we updated "one-third of the projected attendees" to "one-third or more of projected meeting attendees") as shown below. Original: 3. Updates the room block requirement of [RFC8718] from "one-third of the projected attendees" to a more flexible "sufficient rooms to meet the expected demand". Current: 3. Updates the room block requirement specified in [RFC8718] from "one-third or more of projected meeting attendees" to a more flexible "sufficient rooms to meet the expected demand". --> 9) <!-- [rfced] FYI: We removed repeated text that appeared to be a typo (the text was the same as what appears in the next <blockquote> after "and"): Original: [...] the meeting policy (let's call this the "1-1-1" policy) is that meetings should rotate between North America, Europe, and Asia. the 1-1-1-* meeting policy is a slightly modified version of the aforementioned 1-1-1 meeting policy that allows for additional flexibility in the form of an exploratory meeting (denoted with an "*"). Current: [...] the meeting policy (let's call this the "1-1-1" policy) is that meetings should rotate between North America, Europe, and Asia. --> 10) <!--[rfced] There are two instances of "to accommodate us". Is it okay to refer to "us", or would it be clearer (or more formal) to say "to accommodate the IETF meeting requirements" as shown below? Original: * There are a limited number of hotels (and therefore cities) with large enough meeting space and sufficient rooms to accommodate us. While a "one-roof" venue is preferred, there are a limited number of hotels (and therefore cities) with large enough meeting space and sufficient rooms to accommodate us. Perhaps: * There are a limited number of hotels (and therefore cities) with large enough meeting space and sufficient rooms to accommodate the IETF meeting requirements. While a "one-roof" venue is preferred, there are a limited number of hotels (and therefore cities) with large enough meeting space and sufficient rooms to accommodate the IETF meeting requirements. --> 11) <!-- [rfced] FYI: RFC 8718 states "one-third or more of projected meeting attendees" rather than "one-third of the projected attendees", so we have updated the text accordingly. Original: To address this, this document updates Section 3.2.4 of [RFC8718] to replace the requirement for the total room block in the IETF Hotels from "one-third of the projected attendees" to a more flexible "sufficient rooms to meet the expected demand". Current: To address this issue, this document updates Section 3.2.4 of [RFC8718] by replacing the total room block requirement for the IETF Hotels from "one-third or more of projected attendees" to a more flexible "sufficient rooms to meet the expected demand". --> 12) <!--[rfced] Can "hiring" be replaced with "renting" or "providing" for clarity as shown below? Original: The IASA has responded to this feedback by adopting a new practice of hiring in hallway seating whenever that provided by the venue is insufficient. Perhaps: The IASA has responded to this feedback by adopting a new practice of renting in-hallway seating whenever that provided by the venue is insufficient. --> 13) <!-- [rfced] FYI: We updated the following text to make the sections and RFC being referenced clearer: Original: To address this, is updated as follows: [RFC8718] 1. Section 3.2.2 is updated so that the bullet on ad-hoc meeting space now reads: There are sufficient, easily accessible places within the Facility for people to hold ad hoc conversations and group discussions. 2. Section 3.2.4 is updated so that the bullet on the lounge now reads: There are sufficient places within the Facility suitable for people to work online on their own devices. Current: To address this, [RFC8718] is updated as follows: 1. Section 3.2.2 of [RFC8718] is updated so that the entry on ad hoc meeting space (first bullet) now reads: | There are sufficient, easily accessible places within the | Facility for people to hold ad hoc conversations and group | discussions. 2. Section 3.2.4 of [RFC8718] is updated so that the entry on the lounge (sixth bullet) now reads: | There are sufficient places within the Facility suitable for | people to work online on their own devices. --> 14) <!--[rfced] Are these contributors considered coauthors for their contributions, or should the Contributors section perhaps be retitled "Acknowledgements" and the text be updated as shown below? Please let us know your preference. Original: Contributors Thanks to all of the contributors: Laura Nugent, Stephanie McCammon, Alexa Morris, Greg Wood, Lars Eggert Eggert and Jason Livingood. Perhaps: Acknowledgements Thanks to the following people for their contributions to this document: Laura Nugent, Stephanie McCammon, Alexa Morris, Greg Wood, Lars Eggert Eggert, and Jason Livingood. --> 15) <!-- [rfced] Terminology a) Throughout the text, the following terminology appears to be used inconsistently. Please review these occurrences and let us know if/how they may be made consistent. Lounge vs. lounge (Note: lowercase in RFC 8718) Meeting (Rotation) Policy vs. meeting rotation policy (Note: appears as "meeting policy" in RFC 8719. Perhaps use "meeting (rotation) policy" or "meeting rotation policy" for consistency in Sections 2 and 3.1.) One Roof vs. one roof (Note: uppercase in RFC 8718.) Overflow Hotels vs. overflow hotels (Note: uppercase in RFC 8718.) Terminal Room (Note: lowercase in RFC 8718 and other RFCs.) b) Should one instance of "facility" perhaps be "Facility" in Section 4.1.2? Original: * Group discussions can more naturally move from the facility to the hotel. Perhaps: * Group discussions can move more naturally from the facility to the hotel. --> 16) <!-- [rfced] Please review the "Inclusive Language" portion of the online Style Guide <https://www.rfc-editor.org/styleguide/part2/#inclusive_language> and let us know if any changes are needed. Note that our script did not flag any words in particular, but this should still be reviewed as a best practice. --> Thank you. RFC Editor/kc On Dec 23, 2024, at 6:11 PM, rfc-edi...@rfc-editor.org wrote: *****IMPORTANT***** Updated 2024/12/23 RFC Author(s): -------------- Instructions for Completing AUTH48 Your document has now entered AUTH48. Once it has been reviewed and approved by you and all coauthors, it will be published as an RFC. If an author is no longer available, there are several remedies available as listed in the FAQ (https://www.rfc-editor.org/faq/). You and you coauthors are responsible for engaging other parties (e.g., Contributors or Working Group) as necessary before providing your approval. 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