On the Lighter Side...

Ants

A garden center customer picks up a container of 
insecticide and asks the salesperson, "Is this 
good for red ants?" "No," says the salesperson. "It'll kill 'em!"

In Fairness...

The Great Lakes Laboratory employed a licensed 
boat captain to man its research vessel. 
Reportedly, the captain couldn't swim. A 
newcomer, learning of this, approached him about 
it. "Is it true?" the newcomer asked 
incredulously. "You, a boat captain, can't swim?" 
"No, I can't," the captain replied. "Can airline pilots fly?"

Defensive Driving Course

One of my co-workers got a speeding ticket and 
was attending a defensive-driving course to have 
points erased from his license. The instructor, a 
police officer, emphasized that being on time was 
crucial and that the classroom doors would be 
locked when each session began. Just after one 
class started, someone knocked on the locked 
door. The officer opened it and asked, "Why are 
you late?" The student replied, "I was trying not 
to get another ticket." The officer let him in.

Looking Ahead

The young man ahead of my father at the flower 
shop was taking an unusually long time to place 
his order. When the clerk asked how she could 
help, he explained that his girlfriend was 
turning 19 and he couldn't decide whether to give 
her a dozen roses or 19 roses - one for each year 
of her life. The woman put aside her business 
judgment and advised, "She may be your 
19-year-old girlfriend now, but someday she could 
be your 50-year-old wife." The young man bought a dozen roses.

Tact

A sales clerk asked his boss how to handle people 
who complained about the current prices compared 
to the low prices in the good old days. "Just act 
surprised and tell them you didn't think that 
they were old enough to remember them."
 
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