Hello All,

I felt I needed to send this along to clear some air, respond to some comments 
and address some assumptions which seem to be going around in regard to this 
list and my list involvement in the current situation and over the past few 
months.

Firstly, I only mentioned my current situation with my loved one simply to be 
open and honest about exactly why it is that I am not able to address matters 
more quickly. That is the *only* reason. The list situation has been so 
volatile that I felt you all deserve this and that it was only fair of me.

Secondly, I was in no way lecturing any of you on what you should be doing or 
holding anyone here to any higher of a standard than I would consider holding 
myself. So if my note came off like that, then please understand this was not 
at all my intention. I simply meant to suggest a way to quell the current list 
tide until I can more appropriately address these important issues.

In addition, many of you seem to be under the assumption that I do not pay any 
attention whatsoever to this list and that there is no moderation going on here 
at all. This is simply not the case. There is, and has been someone who has 
been kind enough to help manage whatever aspects of the list they can, when 
they can. So the idea that I somehow do not care or have not been considerate 
of this list is simply and completely incorrect.

I also check in on this list every couple of days. I do not read every single 
post, but I do read some and I do skim as well. Since as I’ve said above, there 
has been moderation behind the scenes, I felt this was appropriate.

Since I did miss a serious issue, it is obviously not. So as I have mentioned 
before, I am currently deciding on additional moderators to assist.

Make no mistake, as CJ has mentioned, if any list member here is shown any kind 
of abuse through this list, it matters to me very deeply. The fact that I did 
not know this was going on does not mean I do not care or that I do not pay any 
attention here. I simply missed this in my checks of the list. This does not 
mean I do not view this as my responsibility. On the contrary, I take full 
responsibility for this. However, it does mean that I am a human being and do 
miss things from time to time. It is, and always has been extremely important 
to me that any list I moderate be a safe place for every member on it. I take 
this very seriously. This is very deep to who I am. -And, as I have already 
said, I am deeply sorry for the kind of insanity that has happened here.

Having said this, I feel it is important for me to ask that you please 
understand, I am also not a service that people are entitled to, I am a person 
and as such, have a life and will occasionally miss things that go on here. 
Now, I am not saying that you all feel this way, but there are certainly some 
who seem to. I will try (as I have always done here) to do the best I can for 
this list.

Understand that I get absolutely no compensation of any kind for the running of 
this list, and am lucky if I ever have received more than two thank you notes 
per year, every year that I have worked with this list, even at its best of 
times. I certainly get my share of demands, criticism, questions, help requests 
and general comments. This is fine, I expect this but please realize that this 
is, and has always been simply a labor of love so to speak.

I do very much view the running of this list and my others as my 
responsibility. I care very deeply about helping this community so this sort of 
thing affects me more than you may realize. Some have also accused me of some 
sort of power trip by still being this list’s owner. Firstly, no one has asked 
me for list ownership and secondly, though this is a community, and as Jonathan 
has mentioned, a brand, this is, at the end of the day, simply a mailing list. 
This is not some sort of power trip to me. Yes, I can assist you all in keeping 
this community going, but as I have said before, it is you who keep this 
community going. I can only assist you all. You are the community and I am a 
member of it just like you. This mailing list is merely a vehicle for you the 
community to express yourselves and I can assist. Our community means a lot to 
me so I feel this list is a very important resource.

I am not sure how much clearer or more honest I can be. I will apologize once 
again and simply say that this matters to me whether it seems like it or not.

As I have said, I will address what list issues I can now, (like getting 
another mod) and address any others as soon as time allows on my end.

Let me close by saying how much I appreciate your understanding and support and 
your taking time to read this.

I wish you and yours, a lovely day / evening. (wherever you may be) Talk with 
you all soon…

Sincerely,

Cara
On Aug 27, 2015, at 9:17 AM, CJ Daniel <cj.bear.dan...@gmail.com> wrote:

Cara,

As someone who once held his own child while she passed, I can sympathize  with 
your distress as you face    end-of-life issues  with a friend.  However, as I 
learned during a similar time of my own, life goes on.  In particular, I had to 
continue dealing with the day-to-day aspects of my job @ a busy non-profit 
organization & delegate responsibilities to others as required.  

However, all of that being said, I don’t believe that the level of frustration, 
being experienced by the majority of this list’s members, is either understood 
or being acted upon by you or any other moderator.  In addition, I don’t feel 
that a lecture on maturity or the usage of the delete key is warranted or 
appropriate.  You are in effect calling the well-behaved members of this list 
to higher standards, while asking them to ignore or overlook the poor behavior 
of the individual who has chosen to ignore polite conventions that help to 
govern the interactions of society.  Honestly, some of the posts I’ve seen by 
this individual directed a while back @ one of the ladies on this list, if 
directed @ my wife or one of my daughters, would have been cause for a swift & 
violent physical reaction.

In short, while I feel deeply for you, the situation on this list has been 
ignored for far to long & is snow-balling.  The, kind & considerate members of 
this list are, basically, pleading with you to either appoint a moderator who 
will act on these sorts of issues or—if life’s circumstances are preventing 
your full participation in this list’s activities—then relinquish ownership to 
some one who has the time & where-with-all to make a positive difference.  I 
hope you can understand that all of this is offered with compassion towards 
you.  

With great regard,

CJ Daniel


> On Aug 26, 2015, at 4:11 PM, Cara Quinn <caraqu...@caraquinn.com> wrote:
> 
> Hello All,
> 
> firstly, this list is not going to die.
> 
> Now, to be completely frank and honest with you all. I have been in the 
> hospital for days now, visiting with a very dear one to me, who is passing 
> away.
> 
> So honestly, I cannot address any of these matters right now.
> 
> The fact is, you are all adults and you know enough to ignore posts or 
> posters who simply want (for whatever reason) to incite or stir the pot so to 
> speak.
> 
> So if there is a message you do not wish to read, or do not agree with, just 
> delete it and move on. This is the adult thing to do.
> 
> Neither a list owner or moderator are magic people who make everything 
> alright. Yes, we can ban people, etc, but in the end, this comes down to you 
> all managing yourselves in a way which you all are proud of.
> 
> that is what makes this list worth something.
> 
> So if you feel this list is a resource you wish to preserve and help to grow, 
> as you have been doing now for years, then just simply act in accordance with 
> those beliefs which you know to be right and the rest will follow.
> 
> I promise you, I will address this more fully when I can. I am sure (or at 
> least would hope) that in light of these circumstances, that you would 
> understand.
> 
> My sincerest apologies that there have been issues of late. Some of these are 
> actually being dealt with already, in the background, but the fact that this 
> topic exists says that you need more.
> 
> I will do more as soon as I can.
> 
> For now, please use your own good judgement and simply act as you know you 
> should, and this list will be the kind and helping place that it has been.
> 
> Thank you all for reading this and I will be in touch again soon.
> 
> Sincerely,
> 
> Cara
> ---
> iOS design and development - LookTel.com
> ---
> View my Online Portfolio at:
> 
> http://www.onemodelplace.com/models/Cara-Quinn
> 
> Follow me on Twitter!
> 
> https://twitter.com/ModelCara
> 
> On Aug 26, 2015, at 1:57 PM, Kawal Gucukoglu <kgli...@icloud.com> wrote:
> 
> Just wondering after reading all the messages of whether this list should be 
> or not be, is this list going to continue or is it going to die?
> 
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