On 10 Apr 2007 at 12:02, Richard Walker wrote:
> > Rich,
> > If you'd ever played cricket at any sort of decent
> > level, or, knowing you,
<snip>
> Listen to you ! Ok, my cricketing cv consists of
> representing Colton (East Leeds) in the Leeds league
gentlmen., gentlemen (or are you players?0
hmm, that makes me think of one of the solutions from the
days of youre - a non playing captain
actually i'm in agreement with granpa sykes on views on
crciket. one day stuff in pyjamas. pah.
three day country games, five day tests (whatever áppened
to the unlimited tests?). now you're talking.
add sutcliffe to the yorkshire heroes john mentioned.
i went to school with sutcliffe (okay, richard - his son)
truman and statham bowling for england. being at
headingley when boikes got his double century against
australia.
anyway i diverge. on this argument thing even vaugham
himself said he wondered about his form. anyway i give
the spin's solution:
A FIVE POINT PLAN TO GUARANTEE FIVE VICTORIES IN A ROW FOR ENGLAND
The good thing about losing all the time is that it leaves you in no
doubt that you need to win. Really quite urgently. In fact, now. In
England's case, to take a random example, the requirement is five
victories in a row if they are to lift the World Cup. You might laugh -
and the Spin is chuckling quietly at the absurdity of the thought - but
then you were probably laughing halfway through the Commonwealth Bank
Series, weren't you, and looked what happened there, eh? It can be done.
It just needs some not-very-fine tuning. Here are five areas which could
do with a little work before England stun New Zealand on April 28 in
Bridgetown...
1) At least two-thirds of the top three need to fire at the same time. The
only game so far in which each member of this unhappy trio has reached
double figures was against Canada, and even then the top score was Ed
Joyce's 66. Michael Vaughan's freakish ability to look like a duffer the
moment he dons the pyjama blue will continue to be tolerated while he is
captain, which means Andrew Strauss needs to translate the good net form
he is apparently showing (although never, it seems, when the Spin is
watching) into the middle. Come to think of it, the first of the five
areas might be the most implausible.
2) But here's a possible solution. Since Andrew Flintoff has reverted to
India 2001-02 mode with the bat, Duncan Fletcher might as well tell him to
open the innings and go for broke. His parody of an innings against Brad
Hogg suggests he has nothing to lose and he can hardly do worse than
Vaughan, who right now would trade several press-conference utterances of
the phrase "under pressure" to score as many as his one-day average of 26.
Better to regard him for the time being as a rich man's David Hughes, by
hiding him down the order - certainly below Ravi Bopara - and turning him
into an off-spinner. Don't snort. These are desperate times.
3) Why is it Kevin Pietersen keeps doing something silly between 45
and 65? On Sunday, he did it again, only for Matthew Hayden to drop
him hilariously at mid-off on 63. But whether he likes it or not -
and the Spin suspects he likes it very much - Pietersen has
reasserted himself ahead of Paul Collingwood as the sine qua non of
England's middle order. And that means he has to keep making 90s and
100s, not 50s and 60s. It's unfair to burden Nos 4 and 5 with a
rickety top three and an increasingly unfunny joke of a No6, but - as
Grandpa Spin used to say moments before ransacking our Christmas stocking
- life is unfair.
4) OK, we all know Sajid Mahmood was picked ahead of Liam Plunkett
because of the variety he offers, but at the moment the offer is a
bit literal. One minute he's showing off the slow off-break that
slides down leg, the next it's the off-stump full-toss. The message
has worn thin. Four wickets against Sri Lanka looked good, but 50
runs did not. None for 60 against Australia summed up the
inconsistency. Three years ago Dennis Lillee said Mahmood had the
lot: pace, bounce, movement and some decent jewellery. Time to prove
it.
5) If Australia's ground-fielding on Sunday saved 20 runs, England's
cost almost as many. Too many talented sportsmen are making too many
basic errors, from Strauss's fumble at mid-on to allow Michael Clarke to
get off the mark to Vaughan's drop of Andrew Symonds at short extra cover
via Flintoff's misfield to allow Clarke's cover-drive to go for three
rather than none. If fielding is the barometer of a side's mental
wellbeing, England currently rate distinctly under the weather.
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
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