On Tue, 03 Apr 2001 19:10:04 -0400, after a long, deep thought, Terri
Oda spoke:
>I worried, however, about the suggestion about coming up to a woman
>in an
>elevator, looking her in the eye, and saying "You're very pretty".
>Sure,
>it's not *really* threatening behaviour, but it's unusual behaviour,
>and I
>imagine many women would freak if someone said something like that
>to them
>while they're trapped in a small, soundproof, metal box. :P (It's a
>sad
>commentary that we've been trained to view such things with a dose
of
>nervousness, but that's the way it is, and I'm surprised that
>something
>like that made it past proofreading.). It's a fine thing to suggest
>in an
>open space with escape routes, but definitely not in an enclosed
>space!
In Amsterdam I used to live in an area where very few single white
females like me would live. Most people came from places where the
rules for approaching the opposite sex where very different from the
Dutch customs - most people had an African or Arab background. I had
some elevator episodes where there's only me and some guy...
Like this guy coming in the elevator, undressing me with his eyes,
and only then looking me in the eyes, saying: "I want to be your very
best friend". Hum...
And then there was this episode with another guy, asking: "Do you
live alone?" I didn't think it was any of his business, so I said:
"No, I live with my wife and our dog" as we landed on my floor. I got
out, hearing him stammer: "Your... your... wife?"
My experience with men of an Arab cultural background is that the
common view is that women are there to please men, which is in total
opposite with the common view in Brazil. In Brazil women are there to
be pleased by men, and when a guy makes a pass at you, it's usually
in a way that you feel they're giving you their attention, rather
than demanding yours. Sometimes it's just a remark in passing ("Que
beleza!") without an expectation of getting something in return. Men
in Rio make a point of looking good, the women deserve some eye candy
too.
Roberta
;o)
--
Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.
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