On Wed, 9 Aug 2000, Simon Britnell wrote:
> To a large degree, I think I agree with Deirdre that everyone needs to
> take responsibility for their own well-being, status etc. I too see
> blame as largely irrelevant.
Well, it's not only irrelevant, it's counterproductive. As long as it's
someone else's fault, nothing can be done to help minimize or solve the
problems.
> On the other hand. People who don't think they can change themselves
> (or the world around them) are right. I was, at one stage, in exactly
> that position. It was a depressing, distressing hell. You just
> believe that you're powerless and stuck where you are. I really have
> no idea how to help these people.
Yep, and I've been there, though fortunately I realized it was simply a
stage of acute grief and that it would change. That's different than NOT
knowing that though.
> 1) What are the essential features of a "cat fight"
> 2) Why do I see them as a female thing
I guess you never worked in a company staffed almost entirely by gay men.
;)
> She tells me that what she's decided she really wants to do is "be a
> housewife", but that she feels social pressure to go and "be
> something". I find that interesting given the general complaints I
> hear are the other way around.
She needs to do what fulfills her. If that's being a housewife, great
(especially if you can afford that). My one caveat is that we all need
some contrast in our life (work vs. home, family vs. friends, kids vs.
adults, etc.) so my suggestion would be to at least find some hobby where
she can get out of the house and socialise. I recommend knitting. :)
Knitting's a great hobby -- you can talk to other people while you do it,
it can be expensive or not, it can be for yourself or others.
--
_Deirdre * http://www.sfknit.org * http://www.deirdre.net
"We can always count on the British. Except for the Revolutionary War
they've been perfect." -- Mel Brooks, on the first Concorde flight since
the Paris crash.
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