On Wed, Aug 09, 2000 at 10:03:34AM +1200, Simon Britnell wrote:
<snip to meta-catfight>
> <CATFIGHT>
> This has me thinking about the following questions:
> 1) What are the essential features of a "cat fight"
> 2) Why do I see them as a female thing
> I suspect the answer to 1 is complex and the answer to 2 has to do with
> subject matter and the fact that men stereotypically resort to physical
> violence rather than "name calling" or something that seems like it.
> That said, I don't think I've resorted to violence since I've been an
> adult. I have had some shouting matches, however. So, what do y'all
> think of those two questions?
I think cultural stereotyping at fault here. Like, oh 2 women
are fighting, it must be a catfight.
As far as the construction of "catfight" goes, it inherently
trivializes female violence and anger. In a culture where females
are not supposed to be violent and angry, it is required to enact
this trivialization to re-sanitize the interaction under the rubric
of feminity.
I thought the aforementioned exchange was rather banal and commonplace
to newsgroup/mailing-list personal attacks. And gender neutral --
many, many run of the mill flame wars are started/perpetuated by
men. This altercation didn't seem all that different.
We are in a virtual forum, so we can't resort to physical
violence, no matter how much we desire it (as much as I wish, procmail
can't be considered physical violence ;). (so an apples and
oranges sort of problem in comparing net.flames and fistfights)
> I have a third comment (this is beginning to sound like the spanish
> inquisition sketch) about my wife.
>
> She tells me that what she's decided she really wants to do is "be a
> housewife", but that she feels social pressure to go and "be something".
> I find that interesting given the general complaints I hear are the
> other way around.
>
> Comments?
go her.
I think a really big mistake in interpersonal interaction is
over-generalized thinking. Like, oh lots of women want a career.
Oh, my wife doesn't, oh wait, she's a woman *boggle*
Breaking the bonds of socialized gendered thinking can be a really
big issue. I find that I have to keep repeating *everyone is an
individual* -- helps the preconceived notions crumple to a pile of
dust on the floor (where they belong, IMO).
nico
--
nico "We look hard
damon We look through
hailey We look hard to see for real"
http://www.demona.com --Sisters of Mercy
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