It seems like most of the problem with this whole situation comes from the 
wording of the "warning"  

Please consider this a warning from the Code of Conduct working group.
>

 "consider this a warning" can be interpreted as a threat (though the 
"Please" in front should soften it somewhat).  I don't think it was 
intended as such, but I think it's clear some people do read it that way. 
 Perhaps just a rewording would prevent such a reaction in the future.

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