> [So what's going on for me personally and physically is I'm having trouble > moving and pursuing goals. > When this happens it takes me a few days to branch out and perform "new" > behaviors again. > At first I lay still. Then I mighy do simple things like videogames, at > first spasmodically. Today I did better, but I'm having trouble eating. > It seems to relate to a fragmentation of my experience in the context of a > part of me that doesn't trust my behaviors or believes it has a job of > stopping them. It could just be powerful dissociation. > > I'm not looking for aid or such saying this,immediately, i am just > practicing being more conscious or aware, like journaling. I'm trying this > email out. > > I expect with more practice id be able to say something much clearer and > more helpful about my experience. > > When I'm not doing something as complex I can experience it as suffering > (and often have pseudoseizufes). So posting to the list "gives relief" in > that I'm performing a behavior that is more coherent to me, and > experiencing some parts of me appreciating something I am doing, and things > like that. >
What i would like to do right now is lubricate my eye with the paralyzed blink part. Here I go :)
