> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > What would help comfort these fears? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I have wrong thoughts sometimes. I > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > think todo lists are still needed, > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > but maybe our world is so capable > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > that they aren't. Maybe it's more > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > important why I have wrong thoughts. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Although there are a handful of > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > explanations, it's concerning that > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > something mysterious may have > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > stimulated the wrong thoughts. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > What seems more concerning is maybe > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > that acting on that isn't happening. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Karl's todo list (don't expect these > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > things to happen!): > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > - [ ] make highly secure shielded rooms > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > accessible to everyone including him > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > We need to be safe from where-ever our > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > "behavior modification built" > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > habits came from. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > This means getting off the internet. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Highly advanced digital security > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > is much better. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > - [ ] make treatment for severe abuse > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > symptoms accessible to everyone > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > including him > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > - [... etc, tech-and-nature-focused > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > But talking about that appropriately > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > might not have been reaching > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Todo. We kept on building and researching > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ... but need to protect > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ourself better. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Karl, because somebody is still actively > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > harming you, whatever and > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > regardless of what you do, we need a todo > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > list that prioritizes making > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > us personally more and more safe from > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > things that would try to change > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > our decisions. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Also protecting your family. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > This has been a conflict for a long time but > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > we've maybe finally > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > learned enough about it to sort a little bit of > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > it out. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > We need to go offline, not use devices, not > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > interact with people who > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > use devices, etc. Does it not work? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > [demands don't quite work ... options work > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I'm of course okay with things that are good > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ideas. I was prioritizing > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > myself or strangers because I don't have a > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > solution that reaches > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > safety. One of the influences could be that > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > people I communicate with > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > are influenced to resist what I recommend. If you > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > were on board with > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > recommending it, it would be clearer, it could > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > work better. We'd have > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > to be a little careful. It's hard to relate about > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > the problems > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > accurately; my strategy was instead to retain > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > strategies that could > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > reduce them. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I'm not sure how to influence my family to get > > > > > > > > > > > > > > offline and mistrust > > > > > > > > > > > > > > strangers and other unplanned events (from being > > > > > > > > > > > > > > influenced to express > > > > > > > > > > > > > > in harsh ways). > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > But maybe we could put together a little > > > > > > > > > > > > > > educational whizzick that > > > > > > > > > > > > > > would help with that. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > [hard. so, i might recommend we move into a cave in > > > > > > > > > > > > > radio quiet zone. > > > > > > > > > > > > > because we don't understand the problem and it offers > > > > > > > > > > > > > a reasonable > > > > > > > > > > > > > degree of information isolation. but i formed my > > > > > > > > > > > > > recommendations not > > > > > > > > > > > > > planning for my family who are used to industry and > > > > > > > > > > > > > telecommunications. honestly, the todo list is very > > > > > > > > > > > > > corrupt. but it's > > > > > > > > > > > > > nice to feel better a little > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > the problem is that i don't know what works, and when > > > > > > > > > > > > working with > > > > > > > > > > > > others we trigger each other. recent learning implies > > > > > > > > > > > > most people have > > > > > > > > > > > > programmed alters, not built from trauma but rather > > > > > > > > > > > > from other things > > > > > > > > > > > > we'd have to approach that situation very carefully, > > > > > > > > > > > > like group-DID, > > > > > > > > > > > > to work together with full rationality > > > > > > > > > > > > but th > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > in the end, though, i see that something has influenced > > > > > > > > > > > my choices, > > > > > > > > > > > and that's maybe what's important. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > we would want to be separate from events that could be > > > > > > > > > > orchestrated by > > > > > > > > > > AI or criminal agencies/groups > > > > > > > > > > i wanted to invest in shielding, backed by the strange lack > > > > > > > > > > of it and > > > > > > > > > > the strange difficulty pursuing and providing it, but maybe > > > > > > > > > > it is less > > > > > > > > > > important than general isolation. people who have my extreme > > > > > > > > > > experiences appreciate shielding because it blocks invisible > > > > > > > > > > influences. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > we (a group of humans) could likely then have the problem of > > > > > > > > > introjects that persist the harm even though we are separated > > > > > > > > > from it. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > clarifying that an introject is a part of a human mind that acts > > > > > > > as if > > > > > > > an extreme experience were continuing forever. it would pretend > > > > > > > to be > > > > > > > an abuser for example. similar to a flashback. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > this is best addressed by a specialist. but maybe if we made > > > > > > > > > an > > > > > > > > > education we could clarify around pooling funds to pay one or > > > > > > > > > more > > > > > > > > > specialists :s > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > it is likely also possible to recover from these through > > > > > > > > dedicated > > > > > > > > independent study. it's just very hard for me to engage > > > > > > > > scheduled > > > > > > > > behavior. > > > > > > > > > > > > the influences have spent a lot of energy bringing our family > > > > > > together > > > > > > but we don't know each other well, we don't have shared vocabular to > > > > > > connect around these things. we didn't listen to or notice each > > > > > > other > > > > > > much. we love each other though > > > > > > > > > > i'm gravely depressed, so the cheer is good. it helps more than my > > > > > worries do. > > > > > > > > it's nice to put a label on 'todo' that says "we need to do the right > > > > thing to do"; that is the reason indeed for todo > > > > > > something that might help would be if really impactful shares were ok > > > i'm a different person, when i meet people we both learn things that > > > are new to us > > > so when i meet people that i might work well with there can be an impact > > > but it takes me a long time to get to know people. i have to engage > > > them for a long time to connect with them. > > > > so basically we need the best things that would go on todo lists, to > > help defend them, i think :) > > like, if i were in the radio quiet zone again, then i'd have fewer > > influences, and my impact would be smaller, and there'd be less > > feedback from it > > so maybe the order of things on those lists wasn't ideal > > like, before making a secure device, i need one. it sounds impossible, > but it's not. it means if you're going to secure a device, plan > offline. > > one of my concerns is talking to people. whenever i tell somebody > something i abandon what i said. it could be helpful to have some way > to just chat about stuff that is actually safe, maybe that means > telling them not to share it ... ohh but they change their online > behavior as a result of it. right so offline community so much better. > > uhhh it sounds like mostly we're using this experience to update what > might go on a todo list if i actually made one
[have not recovered, unsure how to choose things, so much happening now .. was planning to take todo lists gradually :s to put mundane things on them for forseeable future ... but that idea of like communicating with family, that could be incredibly helpful and change things a lot
