Here's a draft of a wiki tag for this: http://wiki.openstreetmap.org/wiki/Template:Mapping_Private_Property
I'm not sure this fully captures the complexity though. We want building outlines and perhaps private swimming pools as landuse indicators. OSM does indeed catalog objects available only to paying customers, like water taps, movie viewing screens, and sanitary dumps. But I feel we don't want to direct map readers to put rubbish in private bins, urinate in people's home toilets, for draw water from people's sinks. *Thus this should be OK for the lobby toilet:* tourism=hotel name=The 5 Star toilets=yes toilets:access=permissive toilets:wheelchair=limited *Or mapped as an area and a node:* tourism=hotel building=yes name=The 5 Star website=http://5star.example.com amenity=toilets access=permissive wheelchair=limited description=Lobby toilet, just past reception. *But a private toilet at best should get tagged but not widely rendered:* building=residential toilets=yes toilets:access=private toilets:disposal=composting or: building=yes amenity=toilets access=private note=Cute looking outhouse on the hill, with moon and stars. or to really tag for the rendering: building=yes private:amenity=toilets access=private note=Cute looking outhouse on the hill, with moon and stars.
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