On the Lighter Side...

Which Sermon?

A man who hadn't attended church in years 
suddenly began attending faithfully on Sunday 
mornings instead of going fishing as was his 
normal habit. The pastor was highly gratified and 
at the end of service one morning told him, "How 
wonderful it makes me feel to see you at services 
with your good wife!" "Well, Preacher," said the 
fisherman, "Quite honestly, it's a matter of 
choice. I'd much rather hear your sermon than hers."

The Difference

A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to 
become a policeman. Several months later, a 
friend asked him how he liked his new role. 
"Well," he replied, "the pay is good and the 
hours aren't bad, but what I like best is that the customer is always wrong."

Thinking This Through...

I am full-figured, and when I dine in 
restaurants, I often find the chairs too small 
and uncomfortable. The last time I ate out I 
filled in a comment card, saying that while the 
food and service were wonderful, the chairs did 
not accommodate anyone over a size 14. Several 
weeks later I received a note of apology - and a coupon for a free dessert.

Amphibious Invasion

I had been teaching my seventh-graders about 
World War II, and a test question was, "What was 
the largest amphibious assault of all time?" 
Expecting to see "the D-Day invasion" as the 
answer, I found instead on one paper, "Moses and the plague of frogs."

Teen Logic

Somewhat skeptical of his son's newfound 
determination to become the next Charles Atlas, 
the father nevertheless followed the teenager 
over to the weight-lifting department. "Please, 
Dad," whined the boy, "I promise I'll use them 
every day." "I don't know, Michael. It's really a 
big commitment on your part," the father pointed 
out. "Please, Dad?" "They're not cheap either." 
"I'll use them Dad, I promise. You'll see." 
Finally won over, the father paid for the 
equipment and headed for the door. From the 
corner of the store he heard his son yell, 
"What!? You mean I have to carry them to the car?!"
 

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