-----Original Message-----
From: Deirdre Saoirse <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Date: Wednesday, October 06, 1999 2:36 PM
Subject: Engineers and their wives Re: [issues] Re: games for girls
>My SO and I went out with a couple last week (and a fifth person who
>missed all the interpersonal play between them). He put her down several
>times and did the "stick with me and you'll understand this some day."
>
>It was disgusting. I wanted to throw my plate at the guy. And male geeks
>(like my oblivious friend) say they don't see discrimination -- they
>DON'T even when it happens right in front of them.
>
I know what you are talking about because I grew up with parents who were
much the same way. My mother is intelligent, but really lacks technical
aptitude or interest and my father views anyone with less technical aptitude
than him to be less intelligent, because they don't measure up to the only
standard that he considers important. He does not consciously realize
he does it and has trouble seeing it even when it is pointed out to him,
because to him, there is nothing wrong with his behavior. It is not really
a male vs. female thing, it is a technical vs. non-technical, he has no
problems I've noticed with respecting women who tend to approach things
the same way he does.
Anyway, I'll also say that some people are predisposed to miss this kind
of behavior (as you pointed out) because I was not aware of it on a
conscious
level until it was pointed out to me the first time. Seeing it all the time
made it slip below the radar, it was simply one more fact of life. After it
was pointed out however, I became rather painfully aware of it and saw
the seeds of it beginning to form in my own behavior. Now I make a
conscious effort to avoid doing it or to sanction the people around me
doing it. This goes to the heart of why I (a guy) am here on the LinuxChix
list. I am here to have things pointed out to me that I might otherwise mis
s,
behaviors and attitudes I take for granted questioned, so I can relate to
the
people around me better. I tinker with my personality and behavior the same
way some people tinker with a kernel, I see a short-coming and try to fix
it.
It's a hobby of mine. (It would be nice if I could open source me, at times
the patches from this single developer come pretty slow ;-) )
************
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