> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > we watched part of > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > start of OA again > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > with nonconsenting > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > person. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > there's charged > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > energy around > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > similarities and > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > differences between > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > OA's experience, our > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > experience, and > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > possibly other > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > experiences we've > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > been exposed to. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > very strong energy > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > around miscasting of > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > these in ways that > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > can create > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > power dynamics inside > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > me or alter my > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > experience of identity > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > part of us is trying to > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > figure out how to > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > better traffick people > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > based > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > on the information :/ > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > part of us is trying to > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > figure out how to > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > better traffick people > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > based > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > on the information :/ > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > part of us is trying to > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > figure out how to > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > better traffick people > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > based > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > on the information :/ > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > yes to more effectively > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > destroy people's lives, > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > enslave them > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > massively, and amplify > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > and spread any such > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > existing operations. this > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > is something called an > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > "introject", an alter > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > that behaves like a > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > perpatrator. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > things are quite strong > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > here so it's hard to > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > navigate to answer > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > question requests. it > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > basically lands in poor > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > areas :\ > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > but i think there's agreement > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > that making a movie is a > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > great thing, > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > very inspiring and > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > empowering. really tells the > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > right story, > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > demonstrating an ability to > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > do that at all > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > it's true that something > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > clearly nonfictional would be > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > more empowering. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > changeness > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > 1 difference focused > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > karl gave up; the OA maybe > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > transcended giving up and is in a > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > different > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > space in the first episode, which > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > more reminds karl of over a decade > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ago > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > similar to where experimentee says > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > forced to choose to die > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Maybe in summary we'd like to > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > repeatedly express that the OA needed to > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > be brought to a relational therapist > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > specializing in dissociative > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > identity disorder with successful > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > experience treating ritual abuse. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > There are only a handful of > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > professionals whose job it is to both > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > understand what the OA is experiencing > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > and has experienced and help > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > her recover, and that is one of them. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > But pleasantly the show does continue > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > to show empathic relation, which > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > is rare and hard and takes precise > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > avenues because of traumatically > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > trained silence. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > this is not karl's only mistake by far. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > here it sounds like karl means "any > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > communication at all" by "empathic > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > relation" whereas "empathic relation" in > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > normal communities means > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > "shared understanding" > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > maybe the show is supposed to build that > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > later > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > oops about larger/other thing, not > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > immediately quoted thing > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > expressed diverse pensation around > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > trafficking vulnerable people like > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > escapees more > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Maybe in summary we'd like to repeatedly > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > express that the OA needed to > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > be brought to a relational therapist > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > specializing in dissociative > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > identity disorder with successful experience > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > treating ritual abuse. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I'm not quite sure what I'm experiencing here. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Concepts: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > - I think I originally saw the OA prior to my > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > exposure to extreme trauma. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > remainig concepts might not be helpful unsure, hear > > > > > > > > > > > > > > could be > > > > > > > > > > > > > > unexpected integration reducing something valued or > > > > > > > > > > > > > > something > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > - I think I might have heard that the OA could be > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > related to a true > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > story, I don't really know. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > - There are a _lot_ of true stories, they are > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > _very_ intense and novel > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > and most have _not_ been made into movies > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > - My mcboss stories are _not_ true > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > - I do have a true story that is _different_ from > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > the mcboss stories > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > - A lot of people have written > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > books/autobiographies although most of > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > these are the less extreme things that are easier > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > to think clearly > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > about and stimulate less serious danger to > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > publish about > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > sorries T_T wishing well > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ok to try to bring back from dead, i think you were > > > > > > > > > > > > saying that we > > > > > > > > > > > > need to do anything we can to let these > > > > > > > > > > > > tortured-to-death stories > > > > > > > > > > > > live? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > and ... you can tell there's something here, around me > > > > > > > > > > > > and the mcboss > > > > > > > > > > > > stories and the OA and my brief shoulder-rubbing with > > > > > > > > > > > > survivors, > > > > > > > > > > > > researchers, and therapists ... where this could happen > > > > > > > > > > > > more or > > > > > > > > > > > > better. maybe something almost obvious that hasn't been > > > > > > > > > > > > said yet. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > sorry! not me and the mcboss stories. me and the two > > > > > > > > > > > stories that are > > > > > > > > > > > encrypted into the mcboss storie-- > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > you mean about my story, where i am a wealthy industrialist > > > > > > > > > > who took > > > > > > > > > > over the world with slavery for personal glory :D > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ... uhh oops > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > no! you mean my real story. you mean i went through something > > > > > > > > > real > > > > > > > > > that i can barely think about, and you are working with part > > > > > > > > > of me > > > > > > > > > exposed to it, and i am writing with this part my story > > > > > > > > > working around > > > > > > > > > my experiences by pretending to be a slave boss? ... or > > > > > > > > > something? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > you just mean the story i'm sharing. let's pretend i'm > > > > > > > > > sharing a > > > > > > > > > story. i guess i am, i squeeze a lot of stuff in there amidst > > > > > > > > > the > > > > > > > > > misinformation > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > i'm not being very helpful with that i am guessing. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > how about this other view: something is not said about the OA, > > > > > > > > don't i > > > > > > > > want to say this thing that isn't said? this thing I would know > > > > > > > > from > > > > > > > > my own experience (maybe similar to others')? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > maybe an idea about my experience (or others') being similar to > > > > > > > the OAs? > > > > > > > > > > > > and i'd encourage that not be misused although now it's isoalted > > > > > > into > > > > > > an email :( > > > > > > because it's not that kind of similarness, that soudns very > > > > > > misleading, it's a different kind of similarness that is real, and > > > > > > then there's a misleading idea that is not real but my introject > > > > > > thinks it might be able to spread harm with > > > > > > > > > > it's true that there are similarities that I would deny or not be > > > > > aware of. that's quite true. > > > > > > > > > > it's also true that there is something going on as part of my > > > > > experience, where false experiences are encouraged. > > > > maybe we can start there :} > > > > it's very normal to feel pressured to express false experiences and > > have parts of you that takeover and lie. > > > > this wasn't quite what was depicted in the show. > > but they did depict difficulty and failure in communicating. > > > > > > > > > > > > > OOPS > > > > > > it's also true that me and people i know have similar struggles to the > > > OA in ways
The content of the OA show reflects how we do not have a norm in our country of acting on these horrors. [i think this is what wanted me to say, it's true]
