----- Original Message ----- From: "Erik Reuter" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: "Killer Bs Discussion" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Sunday, March 23, 2003 7:32 PM Subject: Re: Incest
> On Sun, Mar 23, 2003 at 07:32:39PM -0600, Robert Seeberger wrote: > > > No, Dan is correct. I suggest that you have not correctly assessed > > all the parameters involved in incest or you need to qualify your > > statement. > > No, you are both wrong. > > I did qualify it. I explained what I meant by "consensual" and I said > "direct harm". I did NOT say that sex between a parent and a child > caused no harm, although you are reacting as if I did. > I read what you wrote. Incest, even with someone who is not a parent causes harm that is disporportional to any harm caused by consensual sex with a non-related partner. Incest is not about sexual desires. When it is brother-sister, its often about power. With adult/child it can be a product of significant sexual dysfunctions (often caused by being incest victims themselves, and usually involves power too. One of the worst things about incest is that it violates safety. Even if consent is given, incest violates one of the most important home rules: kids are safe there and will not be used for by others. The vulnerability one has at home makes any violation of such a trust damaging. We all have psychological needs while we are growing up. Manipulating them for one's own pleasure causes harm. The asymmetry of power within a family results in direct long term damage. It is, indeed, a subject I'm close too. But, Teri's attack by her father would have automatically fallen in the not OK bin, since she was only 5 at the time. I've based my understanding on reading, and long conversations with psychotherapists in the field. If you are right, virtually everyone who works with incest victims and survivors is wrong. That is, of course, possible. But, its not simply appealing to authority to state that an opinion that counters the understanding gained by a profession in decades of research needs to be accompanied by significant backup. Dan M. Dan M. _______________________________________________ http://www.mccmedia.com/mailman/listinfo/brin-l
