I feel the same way about the word "speed", and by extension the word
"slow".
It's partly our own fault for calling "bits per second" a "speed"
starting back in the 90's. "Oh you've only got a speed of 10Mbps? That
must be why it's slow. "
The thing a customer actually cares about in terms of speed is that when
they click a link, buy a PS4 game, and so on that, that the the result
of whatever they initiated comes quickly. The way people use the term,
"Speed" of the network is more like how much work was performed over
time, and bps plays a role in that (especially downloading the PS4
game), but every single thing between the user and the server plays a
role in that too. Even excluding the things outside of our control, the
perceived "speed" is impacted by buffers, queues, QoS, latency, jitter,
and so on.
So this "customer to english" translation is the inverse of the problem
where all boxes with blinky lights get a random name. All problems
impacting completion of tasks are called "slow speeds".
"slow service" = jitter in my online game
"slow service" = my wifi signal sucks
"slow service" = Facebook is down
"slow service" = An App Store download on my Dad's iPad is stuck at 58
out of 130MB and won't go past that.
"slow service" = My VoIP call is breaking up
"slow service" = speedtest.net says I get 9.2Mbps, but I pay for 10Mbps.
And really that's irrelevant, what I'm really calling about is my work
VPN won't connect because I have a 1492 byte MTU and their Sonicwall
drops PMTUD packets, but the first thing I do for any problem is run
speedtest.net and then report whatever's wrong as slow service.
Then when they tell you service is "slow" and you seek clarification
about what's not working or what's being slow for them they think you're
arguing about it. Really they're making such a general statement that
you have no idea what to even look for yet.
On 7/23/2020 2:30 PM, Ken Hohhof wrote:
“Signal” and “Connection” are two of the most problematic words as far
as not meaning the same thing to customers as to tech support people.
Like if customer says I have no signal, I figure they must be talking
about no WiFi signal because they specifically used the word signal.
But often they are using the word “signal” to mean “Internet”. So if
Facebook or Netflix doesn’t work, they have no signal.
Then there are the people who complain they only have 1 bar of signal
so we need to come out and adjust their antenna. But they are looking
at the Ethernet port lights on the router and thinking those are WiFi
bars. This happens a lot with Mikrotiks which have the 1-5 LEDs on top.
Same with the word connection. I have no connection, I can’t get
connected. Is their device telling them no connections are
available? Like when they same I’m not on my phone. What does it
mean to be “on” your phone?
At least Internet Explorer is pretty much gone. People used to tell
us they were clicking on “the Internet”, I think usually they meant
Internet Explorer. Now they say they use Google, and we’re not sure
if they mean Chrome, or they are searching with Google (many people
don’t know how to enter a web address).
Then there’s “I am trying to log onto the Internet”. Wait, are you
entering login credentials like a username and password? Is this your
Windows login? Gmail? Often they don’t really mean log in, just do
something, like go to a webpage. So
Log in = do something
Don’t get me going on the symbols on home routers. The sparkler is
on, the tadpole is off …
*From:* AF <af-boun...@af.afmug.com> *On Behalf Of *Adam Moffett
*Sent:* Thursday, July 23, 2020 11:33 AM
*To:* af@af.afmug.com
*Subject:* Re: [AFMUG] customer to English dictionary
Yeah and since the monitor says "No Signal" right on the screen I can
almost understand the confusion. I think laptops and tablets are
making monitor malfunctions a less common thing though.
On 7/23/2020 12:11 PM, castarritt wrote:
I've got no signal = Monitor on while PC powered down
On Thu, Jul 23, 2020 at 10:41 AM Larry Smith <lesm...@ecsis.net
<mailto:lesm...@ecsis.net>> wrote:
We haven't touched anything = my son/daughter/cousin
staying with us wanted faster internet so they moved the router
into their room and now nothing works.
--
Larry Smith
lesm...@ecsis.net <mailto:lesm...@ecsis.net>
On Thu July 23 2020 10:22, Nate Burke wrote:
> 'Connection has been Unusable for several days' = Normal
streaming
> patterns until an hour ago.
>
> 'I don't know why the radio is offline' =
> Self/husband/child/pet/landscaper cut the cable outside.
>
> 'It just stopped working' = new roof was installed
>
> On 7/23/2020 8:23 AM, Ron M. wrote:
> > "The internet is down" = I can't get to my one specific
> > (blog/porn/political/etc) website. I can get to everything
else, just
> > not that one site.
> >
> > On Thu, Jul 23, 2020 at 2:17 AM Josh Luthman
> > <j...@imaginenetworksllc.com
<mailto:j...@imaginenetworksllc.com>
<mailto:j...@imaginenetworksllc.com
<mailto:j...@imaginenetworksllc.com>>> wrote:
> >
> > "I've got nothing" = My DirectTV doesn't work, but my
cell phone
> > works, husbands phone and tablet works, all four kids
are watching
> > 2 video streams each
> >
> > Josh Luthman
> > Office: 937-552-2340
> > Direct: 937-552-2343
> > 1100 Wayne St
> > Suite 1337
> > Troy, OH 45373
> >
> >
> > On Thu, Jul 23, 2020 at 1:36 AM Steve Jones
> > <thatoneguyst...@gmail.com
<mailto:thatoneguyst...@gmail.com>
<mailto:thatoneguyst...@gmail.com
<mailto:thatoneguyst...@gmail.com>>> wrote:
> >
> > I've had old men start reading the label on the
poe to me and
> > it takes a bit to understand what they're telling
me cause I
> > cant even see most of it. Amazing to me.
> >
> > Also
> >
> > Right next to the router: 3 rooms over through a
refrigerator
> > behind a tv.
> >
> > <insert scrap online service> says your internet
is too slow:
> > Patel, I mean Roy from tech support doesnt even
know what the
> > service is he is supporting
> >
> > I didnt touch anything since it was installed: I
moved every
> > wire and managed to make my cordless phone power
supply cord
> > fit in the router
> >
> > That's the way your techs left it: I am a liar
> >
> > On Wed, Jul 22, 2020, 8:01 PM Adam Moffett
> > <dmmoff...@gmail.com <mailto:dmmoff...@gmail.com>
<mailto:dmmoff...@gmail.com <mailto:dmmoff...@gmail.com>>> wrote:
> >
> > Modem = a box with blinky lights.
> >
> > Router = a box with blinky lights.
> >
> > Hub = a box with blinky lights.
> >
> > Switch = a box with blink lights.
> >
> > You don't know what it is until they read the
words on it
> > and tell you it's the Linksy.
> >
> > On 7/22/2020 6:47 PM, Ken Hohhof wrote:
> >> I think we need one. For example,
> >>
> >> Satellite = antenna (e.g. you put a satellite
on my roof)
> >>
> >> Cable = TV (e.g. where do I plug in the cable)
> >>
> >> WiFi = Internet
> >>
> >> Booster = range extender
> >>
> >> Linsky = router (also Link System)
> >>
> >> Slow as dialup = meaningless, nobody
remembers dialup
> >
> > --
> > AF mailing list
> > AF@af.afmug.com <mailto:AF@af.afmug.com>
<mailto:AF@af.afmug.com <mailto:AF@af.afmug.com>>
> > http://af.afmug.com/mailman/listinfo/af_af.afmug.com
> >
> > --
> > AF mailing list
> > AF@af.afmug.com <mailto:AF@af.afmug.com>
<mailto:AF@af.afmug.com <mailto:AF@af.afmug.com>>
> > http://af.afmug.com/mailman/listinfo/af_af.afmug.com
> >
> > --
> > AF mailing list
> > AF@af.afmug.com <mailto:AF@af.afmug.com>
<mailto:AF@af.afmug.com <mailto:AF@af.afmug.com>>
> > http://af.afmug.com/mailman/listinfo/af_af.afmug.com
--
AF mailing list
AF@af.afmug.com <mailto:AF@af.afmug.com>
http://af.afmug.com/mailman/listinfo/af_af.afmug.com
--
AF mailing list
AF@af.afmug.com
http://af.afmug.com/mailman/listinfo/af_af.afmug.com
