jason hirsh:
> > I repeat my suggestion that you collect real data to show that
> > those SMTP packets from gmail actually reach you.  Because when
> > you finally discover that they don't then you can go and fix the
> > real problem.
> 
> i have no idea HOW to get that real data.. I do not have access to the  
> servers that are connecting and none of my logs shwo info on the  
> failed attempts

Run tcpdump on your machine, then send mail from gmail etc.

# tcpdump port 25

Then you should see packets from hosts that can reach you;
you should see no or only few packets from hosts that can't.

        Wietse

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