GREAT!!!! _____
>
>
>
>
>WE ARE PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE LUTHERAN AIR IS NOW OPERATING IN MINNYSOTA.
>
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>ALSO SERVING VISCONSIN, NORT AND SOUT DAKOTA.
>
>If you are travelin soon, consider Lutran (Lutheran) Air, da no-frills
>airline. You're all in da same boat on Lutran Air, where flyin is a
>upliftin
>experience.
>
>Dere is no first class on any Lutran Air flight. Meals are potluck. Rows
>1-6, bring rolls; 7-15, bring a salad; 16-21, a main dish, and 22-30, a
>dessert. Basses and tenors please sit in da rear of da aircraft.
>
>Everyone is responsible for his or her own baggage. All fares are by free
>will offering and da plane will not land 'til da budget is met.
>
>Pay attention to your flight attendant, who will acquaint you wit da safety
>system aboard dis Lutran Air 599.
>
>Okay den, listen up. I'm only gonna say dis vonce. In da event of a sudden
>loss of cabin pressure, I am frankly going to be real surprised and so vill
>Captain Olson, because we fly right around two tousand feet, so loss of
>cabin pressure would probably mean da Second Coming or someting of dat
>nature, and I wouldn't bodar with doze liddle masks on da rubber tubes.
>You're gonna have bigger tings to worry about den dat. Just stuff doze back
>up in dair little holes. Probably da masks fell out because of turbulence
>which, to be honest wit you, we're going to have quite a bit of at two
>tousand feet, sort a like driving across a plowed field, but after a while
>you get used to it.
>
>In da event of a water landing, I'd say forget it. Start saying da Lord's
>Prayer and just hope you get to da part about forgive us our sins as we
>forgive doze who sin against us, which some people say "trespass against
>us," which isn't right, but what can you do?
>
>Da use of cell phones on da plane is strictly forbidden, not because day
>may
>confuse da plane's navigation system, which is seat of da pants all da way.
>No, it's because cell phones are a pain in da wazoo, and if God meant you
>to
>use a cell phone, He would have put your mout on da side of your head.
>
>We start lunch right about noon and it's buffet style with da coffee pot up
>front. Den we'll have da hymn sing; hymnals are in da seat pocket in front
>of you. Don't take yours wit you when you go or I am going to be real upset
>and I am not kiddin!
>
>Right now I'll say Grace: "Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest and let deze
>gifts
>to us be blessed. Fadar, Son, and Holy Ghost, may we land in Dulut or
>pretty
>close... Amen
>
> BCNU
>
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