[EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:
>
> I want to write something in the Issues FAQ about 'trivialising' - such
> as people using the word 'rape' to mean other, less intense forms of
> injury.
Thank you. That episode was really, *really*
sickening/hurtful/nauseating, and I'm glad someone is _doing_ something
about it.
> Would people who truly understand how it hurts when something is trivialised
> do me a great favour and either discuss this on the list, or email me
> privately?
Here's my take on it:
Yes, I've been raped, as well as sexually abused (although not in
a really severe way -- probably "molested" is a better term). The
hardest part, for me, is getting *back* the free will that was
taken from me, and getting *over* the feelings of vulnerability, which
have made me do incredibly stupid things at time.
Being raped, and in a worse way being molested by authority figures
as a child, has made me _keenly_ aware of how often I'm "vulnerable"
or in a postion where I can be hurt or abused by others -- but also
aware that sometimes, the reason I'm in those positions is I don't take
responsibility.
Having been completely denied in choice in what happened to me,
it's all the more important for me *now* that I do take responsibility
for what I can, and that I protect my own choices.
That's what so offends me about casual use of the word 'rape': I'm
a firm believer that, while words can be painful, people are basically
in control of their own emotions -- or should be. This is a computer:
no one is forcing anyone to sit and read this, no one is forcing
their opinions on anyone -- that's one of the great things about the
net: it's a medium of total consent. You can *always* turn the
computer *off*.
Being raped is about being _denied_ choice, being _denied_ power,
being _forced_ and being degraded as an individual -- not because
of the sexual aspects, per se, but because of the disregard of your
integrity as a person and your ability to choose. Regardless
of how "hurt" someone is by another's statement, they still have a
choice -- to respond with flames, to ignore it, to laugh and say 'get a
life', or to turn the computer off. Comparing an emotional reaction
that's basically voluntary -- or can at least be *avoided* -- to
rape is like comparing apples to oranges; it shows the person
making the comparison, instead of being sympathetic to rape survivors,
has something of a 'rapist' mentality -- because they'd rather take
away *other people's choices* because of their own reactions than
take *responsibility* for themselves.
Just my $0.02. It's probably redundant, but, hey....
************
[EMAIL PROTECTED] http://www.linuxchix.org
