[EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:
> Deirdre Saoirse wrote:
> > Steve Kudlak wrote:
> >
> > There are a lot of places where differentness *isn't* tolerated and I
> > suspect that if you just don't "fit in" that would be uncomfortable. Some
> > areas of the country are more formal than others.
>
> One thing to remember is that we cannot change anyone but ourselves. Whether
> it's _right_ or _fair_ or _valid_ for other people to have the opinions and
> attitudes that they do is - well, meaningless. They have them. We can talk
> to them about it, we can alert them to impressions they give off, but we
> can't change them. And if we try, we risk being as bad as they are.
>
> Some people enjoy formality, and enjoy dressing up, and really are happy
> and comfortable with all the codes and mannerisms that it all entails.
> Dressing up to go to the races, or the opera, or to go shopping, makes
> them happy. Being in an environment of people who are all dressed up
> makes them happy.
>
> So be it. More power to them. Especially if they are content to stay in
> their area of the city and leave me to mine - or in the case of the USA,
> if they're content to stay in their cities and leave more casual people
> to pick their own environments.
>
> It's as unfair for you (Steve) to ask them to just bluntly accept your
> clothing, as it is for them to make that judgement. Both are a request
> for the other person to change a fundamental part of themselves.
>
> It's much, much fairer simply to shrug, name them (IN YOUR HEAD ONLY)
> shallow and surface-obsessed, and go find some more comfortable place
> to live. It also marks you as a much more mature person. :)
>
> > I remember when I lived in Raleigh dressing down and going to the mall one
> > Sunday only to see everyone in suits! I felt like I really stuck out.
> >
> > > I had such a bad day today eveything has suffered. Notr the leaast
> > > being my spelling and grammar. :)
> >
> > Btw, it wasn't a flame, merely a comment.
>
> Taking the time to improve your spelling, typing and grammar would
> make your letters much more readable. Again, a comment not a flame.
> Noone's judging you on the speed with which you process email. :)
>
> Jenn V.
> --
> Humans are the only species to feed and house entirely separate species
> for no reason other than the pleasure of their company. Why?
>
> [EMAIL PROTECTED] Jenn Vesperman http://www.simegen.com/~jenn/
>
> ************
> [EMAIL PROTECTED] http://www.linuxchix.org
Well let's see, my emotional,. really got the best of me, ans slooopy") grammer
and speeling followed rapidly But yep you are right, it would be better to go to
some place more informal. At least eventually (in a year or 2). This area is
also one of easy physical
pugnaciousness. Whereas here we may just flame inwords, we don't throw punches
at each other. Especially over questions of which local ISP is the best. Fights
break out in West Virginia may too much.
This is a touchy issue, because if one woman said: "Don't do that, it might
actually stop things." Or something like" Or it's not worth fight over...."
Instead they back out of the way and let the guys duke it out. This is
sickening. It is not a place for geeks. So this may provoke my departure. If you
can't change people you can just move. I did once. I should probably do so
again.
Only difference I think is that it IS FAIR FOR ME TO ASK THEM TO ACCEPT MY
CLOTHING. I may joke about "suits" but they are no less a human being. I only
ask the same. To me it seems they are glorifying stupidity. But the convenient
way is to remove myself from it and do to some place better. It is the never
teach a pig to sing thing...
SO I fear I will have to make my plans accordingly unless I am granted the grace
of the accepted eccentric. SO eventually it maybe just go elsewhere to more
tolerant region. As I am pretty burnt out. ANd as my friendly MD's nurse says:
"If you can't adapt in 3 years it probably isn't going to happen. I will shrug
shoulders but it if is a business situation AU will create a protest to protect
people from further abuse.
Have Fun,
Sends Steve
************
[EMAIL PROTECTED] http://www.linuxchix.org
