On Mon, 25 Oct 1999, Vinnie Surmonde wrote:
> On Mon, 25 Oct 1999, srl wrote:
> > aha. i think you've hit on something. I kinda find it offensive for
> > anyone to more-or-less openly seek someone to be hir
> > maintainer-of-all-things-domestic-and-emotional. And, gender politics
> > being what they are, it's most often men looking for this from women.
> > THere are women who do the same, only in reverse.
I must state in my own defense that I wasn't seeking it, it just landed in
my lap.
> > I think it's part of being a responsible adult to take care of your own
> > life-- from doing the laundry to maintaining emotional well-being. It's
> > fine to have some support in that. For me, it's *not* a goal to spend so
> > much time geeking that i need someone else to write the rent checks and
> > wash the dishes. IMO, any geek--- male, female, or otherwise--- who
> > aspires to this almost deserves to be single. Who wants to date someone
> > who spends so much time on projects that they have no time for an SO?
You know, I need a housekeeper. Vinnie can confirm this: I'm not domestic.
It's not that I don't have time for an SO, it's that I'm a wanna-be neat
freak who just shifts responsibilities all the time.
>From the other side of this, in respecting that I need this, I always have
the option to *hire a housekeeper.* You know, someone who comes in and
does the vacuuming (my apartment is so small there's really no good place
to store one!).
I think what's offensive is not that the person in question *needs*
someone else's help, but HOW they solve the problem.
> yeah, I pretty much agree. I certainly wouldn't *date* someone like
> that. I don't find it too offensive, though...it's when it's presented as
> the best or only way to be that it bothers me.
Like I said, what bothered me is the how. I can have my entire apartment
spiffed up in about an hour twice a week by a paid professional. Why would
I want someone to dedicate their life to it?
> And an argument could be made for division of labor -- i.e. I do the
> out-of-house stuff and you do the in house stuff or whatever..in other
> words, not necessarily not enough time for an SO, but 'these are all the
> things that need to be done. I'll do all of these if you'll do all of
> these' -- being read into the artical..
Then again, I have this insane desire to rearrange my living room in
order to avoid working....
--
_Deirdre * http://www.linuxcabal.net * http://www.deirdre.net
"Mars has been a tough target" -- Peter G. Neumann, Risks Digest Moderator
"That's because the Martians keep shooting things down." -- Harlan Rosenthal
<[EMAIL PROTECTED]>, retorting in Risks Digest 20.60
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