Hello Christer, Thank you for your review input, and please see below for responses:
Regards - Fred [email protected] >________________________________ > From: Christer Holmberg <[email protected]> >To: "[email protected]" <[email protected]> >Cc: "[email protected]" ><[email protected]> >Sent: Tuesday, February 19, 2013 2:11 AM >Subject: RE: Genart review of draft-templin-intarea-seal-51.txt > > > >E-mail address corrected. > >From:[email protected] [mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of >Christer Holmberg >Sent: 19. helmikuuta 2013 12:10 >To: [email protected] >Cc: [email protected] >Subject: [Gen-art] Genart review of draft-templin-intarea-seal-51.txt > >I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on Gen-ART, >please see the FAQ at <http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq> > >Document: draft-templin-intarea-seal-51.txt > >Reviewer: Christer Holmberg > >Review Date: 19 Feb 2013 > >IETF LC End Date: 20 Feb 2013 > >IETF Telechat Date: 21 Feb 2013 > >Summary: The draft is well written, but with some editorial comments that I >suggest to be addressed before publication. > >Major Issues: None > >Minor Issues: None > >Editorial nits: See below > >Q_ED_1: Most of the text in the Abstract section does not belong there. The >section should talk about what the document does, and not define what a >subnetwork is etc. Only the last sentence talks about what the draft is about. Here is a proposed rewrite of the abstract: "The Subnetwork Encapsulation and Adaptation Layer (SEAL) operates over virtual topologies configured over connected IP network routing regions bounded by encapsulating border nodes. These virtual topologies are manifested by tunnels that may span multiple IP and/or sub-IP layer forwarding hops, where they may incur packet duplication, packet reordering, source address spoofing and traversal of links with diverse Maximum Transmission Units (MTUs). SEAL uniquely addresses these issues through the encapsulation and messaging mechanisms specified in this document." >Q_ED_2: In the Introduction section, I would suggest to add a reference for IP >encapsulating/tunneling. RFC 2003 is referenced later in the document, but I >think it would be good to have something also in the Introduction. Citations for IP encapsulating/tunneling can be added as follows "The use of IP encapsulation (also known as "tunneling") has long been considered as the means for creating such virtual topologies (e.g., see [RFC2003][RFC2473])." >Q_ED_3: In section 1.2, do you need to define ‘subnetwork’ here? Isn’t it >better to have the definition in one single place – the Terminology section? Proposed resolution is to rewrite the first sentence of this section as follows: "This document concerns subnetworks manifested through a virtual topology configured over a connected network routing region and bounded by encapsulating border nodes." >Q_ED_4: In section 12, there seems to be a dot too much J I don't understand this - could you clarify? >Best regards, > >Christer > > > > > _______________________________________________ Gen-art mailing list [email protected] https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
