I quite agree with Aadi. "Loyalty" and "Trust" are the foundations for any relationship and if they are broken, then there won't be much of a relationship left. What remains would be what one could term a "sham".
________________________________ From: Aadi 2106 <aaditya2...@yahoo.co.in> To: gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com Sent: Friday, 16 March 2012 3:15 AM Subject: Re: g_b Why this "kolaveri"? I stopped reading your mail at your 'first off'. I know a lot of bisexuals - they are attracted to both men and women. But that does not give them a license to adultery. My friend (a woman) is bisexual, in relationship with a woman but completely loyal to her. To be clear so that you understand, she does not have sex with any man or woman apart from the woman she loves. So please don't paint bisexuals in a bad light. Gay, straight, lesbian, bi...kuch bhi ho, apne premi ko dhokha dena yeh dhokha denaa hi hota hai! Aadi Vodafone BlackBerry® ke saujanya se! ________________________________ From: "sbdary" <sbd...@yahoo.com> Sender: gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com Date: Thu, 15 Mar 2012 15:22:59 -0000 To: <gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com> ReplyTo: gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com Subject: g_b Why this "kolaveri"? While many of you may still remember the song, the word "kolaveri" means a "killing rage". I choose to ask this question rather metaphorically, looking at the amount of mails that have come pouring in from many directions in response to that rather "unfortunate" mail from "Style_me92" OK, so here are some points that strike my mind. First off, this is a forum for LGBT, right? Or is this a forum for lesbians and gays only? If this forum does, indeed, welcome "bisexuals" then, by definition, we're talking of a people who are attracted to males as well as females (or vice versa). Where, then, does a "monogamous" relationship exist for such people? Second, to take a leaf out of the Supreme Court case and Sec. 377 of the IPC - for all that we speak of the fact that homosexuality is NOT "unnatural" or against the order of "God" etc, does "monogamy" exist in "nature"? Granted, some species of animals have indeed exhibited monogamous traits, the reality is that a vast majority of animals (including homo-sapiens) are inherently not monogamous. "Marriage" and "monogamy" are acquired traits, a state of affairs that have been brought about by man in order to lead a slightly less conflict filled life (as opposed to total laissez faire or anarchy) If we were to go back to even a few hundred years in India, polygamy was not just acceptable but was, perhaps the norm. Ditto, other cultures, other religions. Given that most homosexual people remain apprehensive about "coming out" and would rather remain "closeted" it seems to me that MSM relationships would, in most cases, remain "transactional" depending on opportunity/availability rather than relationship based. Another point that occurs to me, and this from my own experience, is this: I am now 48 years of age and have become aware of my physical attraction to other men only 3or 4 years back. I married when I was 27 - for almost 17 years after marriage I did not even imagine that I would one day enjoy sex with another man. So, where does all the heated opinions about being "loyal" to one's partner leave someone like me? I understand, at a theoretical level, the need to be "honest" to my relationship with my wife and not to "cheat" her - but is that of any practical help? Do I then convince myself that my attraction to other men is "unnatural" and "against the wishes of God"? Fact is, since I am married, I am conscious of my "responsibilities" to my wife and my son - so, divorce is not an option. Getting into a "relationship" with another man is also not an option for I haven't found such a person. But this "natural" chemistry between my legs needs an outlet - so, where does that leave me? I speak for myself here - but am sure I speak for many others as well. Looking forward to a flood of mails :) Sujit
