Chuck,

It sounds like you really need to own two boats. A trawler around 36 - 42 feet 
for trips with the wife, and a C&C 25, 27, or 30 that you and your son can race 
relatively I expensively and also daysail when the wife isn't along.

Take heart. It has been said that all of us will end up in a trawler as we get 
into our 70s (and in a land yacht after that), so you would just be getting 
ahead of the curve.

Rick Brass

Sent from my iPad

> On Sep 23, 2014, at 22:44, Chuck S via CnC-List <cnc-list@cnc-list.com> wrote:
> 
> Thanks for the suggestions.  All good, but not for my girl. 
> Hiring a coach or taking a course won't change the fact that she doesn't like 
> that sailboats lean when powered up.  She's just not interested in a sailing 
> course or coaching or changing.  We're 60 and been together 30+ years.  We've 
> had this boat for 12 years and she likes harbor cruises under power or 
> anchoring overnight, or all the social stuff at the dock or rafting up.  My 
> daughter is the same.  My son however is like me and took to sailing right 
> off.  He joined his college's sailing team and loves racing with me.  I've 
> raced the boat without my wife or daughter and won regattas with 1st time 
> ever crew, so I assure you I am fairly competent.  I can calmly explain which 
> line to put to what winch and which way to turn it and never raise my voice 
> except to be heard.  I've put newbies on the wheel and coached them to steer 
> and they loved steering.  I've also taken guests who just wanted a ride, 
> didn't want to do anything and I just set the autohelm and do it all like I 
> do when I'm alone.  My wife likes that style until it gets above 10 knots 
> when the boat comes alive and we start making 6 plus knots and heel to 25 
> degrees cause the apparent becomes 16 and then we're doing 7.3 knots and 
> lovin it, until she's almost crying something like, "do you have to make it 
> lean so much?  Let's find a place to go swimming."
> 
> She's missing the sailing gene, but I can't change her and she has no desire 
> to take a course or let me hire a coach.  I guess I'll run our boat like a 
> trawler when she's aboard, and save the sailing for when she's not there.   
> I'm gonna order that tow toy.
> 
> Chuck
> Resolute
> 1990 C&C 34R
> Broad Creek, Magothy River, Md
> 
> From: "CNC boat owners, cnc-list" <cnc-list@cnc-list.com>
> To: "Gary Nylander" <gnylan...@atlanticbb.net>, "CNC boat owners, cnc-list" 
> <cnc-list@cnc-list.com>
> Sent: Tuesday, September 23, 2014 7:44:09 PM
> Subject: Re: Stus-List Wife dosen't like it when the boat leans
> 
> Ok, here's a response from a woman.....
> 
> I married into sailing. Started with a small boat, took trips to New England 
> and the Caribbean on  charters in significantly larger boats (where my love 
> for C&C began). I learned to love the lifestyle and a bit of racing but what 
> really shifted my thinking was crewing on someone else's boat. 
> 
> Consider this, expectations are high and so is pressure when sailing with a 
> spouse. When sailing on another accomplished skippers boat as added crew, you 
> see how the experienced crew handles everything and before you know it you 
> relax,  a few years have passed, and your right there with them, loving every 
> second.....
> 
> I wouldn't expect every wife to catch the bug I did, but they might certainly 
> see sailing from a different perspective and enjoy it more with a higher 
> level of confidence.
> 
> I know on Lake Lanier and other bodies of water there are some very patient 
> and good skippers that would welcome a learning spouse. I'd be happy to help 
> as well...
> 
> Joanne Mocny
> S/V Obsession
> C&C 37/40+
> 
> Sent from my iPad
> 
> On Sep 23, 2014, at 4:59 PM, Gary Nylander via CnC-List 
> <cnc-list@cnc-list.com> wrote:
> 
> Try Womanship - they have a school in Annapolis, but hold classes in the 
> Caribbean.
>  
> A friend went - loved it.
>  
> Gary
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Tim Goodyear via CnC-List
> To: Dennis C. ; cnc-list@cnc-list.com
> Cc: Jean-Francois J Rivard
> Sent: Tuesday, September 23, 2014 4:46 PM
> Subject: Re: Stus-List Wife dosen't like it when the boat leans
> 
> Dennis / others,
> 
> Do you have any recommendations for such a course, preferably somewhere warm 
> and with some considerable learning opportunities (moving from very competent 
> crew to command / self-sufficiency, not basics)?  Bev / other female listers, 
> I'd be interested in your opinions too.
> 
> Thanks,
> 
> Tim
> 
> On Sep 22, 2014, at 5:31 PM, "Dennis C. via CnC-List" <cnc-list@cnc-list.com> 
> wrote:
> 
> Don't just send your lady to sailing lessons.  Send her to a week long ladies 
> only sailing class.  It's a LOT different than taking lessons with a coed 
> group.  She will not just get sailing lessons, she will get emotional 
> support, counselling, share experiences with other women, etc.  Chances are 
> it will be a much more positive experience for her.
> 
> I've had a couple lady friends do it and they absolutely swear it's the only 
> way to learn sailing.  
> 
> Dennis C.
> Touche' 35-1 #83
> Mandeville, LA
> 
>> On Mon, Sep 22, 2014 at 4:03 PM, Jean-Francois J Rivard via CnC-List 
>> <cnc-list@cnc-list.com> wrote:
>> I'll let you guys know how the lessons help.. 
>> 
>> 
>> Racing did not help, she clammed-up even worse for fear that she'd screw 
>> something up. Even if on that particular race, everything that could be 
>> screwed-up was already taken care of  so no one really cared.  No amount of 
>> screwing-up was going to make our last place any worse.  :-) 
>> 
>> 
>> Giving her the helm.. Been there done that, same result. 
>> 
>> 
>> Talking to other wifes.. It depends,  At the club parties it runs the gammut 
>> from enthusiastic sailor ladies to killjoys that never come out sailing, 
>> just show up for parties..  When she runs into the lather all they say is 
>> too hot, too cold, too windy, too sunny, too humid, etc, etc.   then  I'm 
>> loosing ground.
>> 
>> 
>> I'm banking on the lessons..  Truth to be told, if you're that much not into 
>> the boating thing, just sitting around on a boat is not much more fun than 
>> sitting around anywhere else.. Especially given the fact that on the lake, 
>> when it's (Really) windy, it's usually not very sunny, often a bit coldish,  
>> so you have to look at the big picture to appreciate what's going on.  
>> 
>> 
>> On the plus she's fairly athletic so maybe once she told what's what by 
>> someone else and understands better what's going on she'll get into the 
>> workout / physical side of it and get a little rush that way... 
>> 
>> 
>> I guess that's typical boat stuff:  one more thing to figure out...
>> 
>> 
>> -Francois
>> 1990 34+ "Take Five" 
>> Lake Lanier, Georgia.  
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
>> 
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