My partner never sailed until she met me. I bought my C&C24 5 years ago, 3
years into our relationship. She was game to try sailing, but the 1st day out
the winds were about 20 knots.
That's a bigger deal on Lake Champlain because the chop is so short compared to
bigger water.
You can really get banged around at 20 knots.
I purposely took it easy, but she still hit the deck screaming when we heeled
over. It didn't matter that I pointed out the local yacht club boats racing
near us and how much more they were heeled over than us. For the next 3 years
sailing friends would ask what kind of a day on the lake we had and they would
know when I said, "It was a 3 screamer" (a good day, for me), or "A one
screamer" (a pretty boring sail). It was so common that I finally named the
boat because of it. I originally wanted an Irish name (I'm an Irish citizen,
dual actually). Someone suggested Screaming Banshee, because of Kathy's
screaming. I liked it at first, but Screaming might imply to people that I have
a fast boat (not the case with me sailing her as a cruiser), so I named her
Banshee, which also happens to be an Irish fairy maiden, that warns of
impending doom ("welcome aboard, you'll be fine"). Kathy's screams have
subsided to the point that we're naming the dinghy after her new sound, Low
Pitiful Moan.
The message is, given enough time and experience, it subsides.
Ed
> On Sep 24, 2014, at 8:39 AM, "Dennis C." <capt...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> Relationships are compromise and tolerance.
>
> I have several sailing buddies whose wives won't go near a boat. At least
> they're honest and candid about their position.
>
> I have two friends whose ladies were interested in the boats while they were
> dating. Once they were wed, the ladies lost interest.
>
> On the other hand, I have sailing friends that use their boats as their "man
> cave".
>
> I'd say that if Curtis' lady has stuck around for 30+ years, he's doing a lot
> of things right. Good on ya, Curtis.
>
> Dennis C.
>
> Sent from my iPhone
>
>> On Sep 24, 2014, at 7:15 AM, "Hoyt, Mike via CnC-List"
>> <cnc-list@cnc-list.com> wrote:
>>
>> Chuck
>>
>> You are lucky that your wife likes being aboard the boat. Sounds like you
>> have a good system worked out
>>
>> Mike
>> Persistence
>> (as usual not a C&C)
>>
>>
>> From: CnC-List [mailto:cnc-list-boun...@cnc-list.com] On Behalf Of Chuck S
>> via CnC-List
>> Sent: Tuesday, September 23, 2014 11:44 PM
>> To: Us; CNC boat owners, cnc-list
>> Subject: Re: Stus-List Wife dosen't like it when the boat leans
>>
>> Thanks for the suggestions. All good, but not for my girl.
>> Hiring a coach or taking a course won't change the fact that she doesn't
>> like that sailboats lean when powered up. She's just not interested in a
>> sailing course or coaching or changing. We're 60 and been together 30+
>> years. We've had this boat for 12 years and she likes harbor cruises under
>> power or anchoring overnight, or all the social stuff at the dock or rafting
>> up. My daughter is the same. My son however is like me and took to sailing
>> right off. He joined his college's sailing team and loves racing with me.
>> I've raced the boat without my wife or daughter and won regattas with 1st
>> time ever crew, so I assure you I am fairly competent. I can calmly explain
>> which line to put to what winch and which way to turn it and never raise my
>> voice except to be heard. I've put newbies on the wheel and coached them to
>> steer and they loved steering. I've also taken guests who just wanted a
>> ride, didn't want to do anything and I just set the autohelm and do it all
>> like I do when I'm alone. My wife likes that style until it gets above 10
>> knots when the boat comes alive and we start making 6 plus knots and heel to
>> 25 degrees cause the apparent becomes 16 and then we're doing 7.3 knots and
>> lovin it, until she's almost crying something like, "do you have to make it
>> lean so much? Let's find a place to go swimming."
>>
>> She's missing the sailing gene, but I can't change her and she has no desire
>> to take a course or let me hire a coach. I guess I'll run our boat like a
>> trawler when she's aboard, and save the sailing for when she's not there.
>> I'm gonna order that tow toy.
>>
>> Chuck
>> Resolute
>> 1990 C&C 34R
>> Broad Creek, Magothy River, Md
>>
>> From: "CNC boat owners, cnc-list" <cnc-list@cnc-list.com>
>> To: "Gary Nylander" <gnylan...@atlanticbb.net>, "CNC boat owners, cnc-list"
>> <cnc-list@cnc-list.com>
>> Sent: Tuesday, September 23, 2014 7:44:09 PM
>> Subject: Re: Stus-List Wife dosen't like it when the boat leans
>>
>> Ok, here's a response from a woman.....
>>
>> I married into sailing. Started with a small boat, took trips to New England
>> and the Caribbean on charters in significantly larger boats (where my love
>> for C&C began). I learned to love the lifestyle and a bit of racing but what
>> really shifted my thinking was crewing on someone else's boat.
>>
>> Consider this, expectations are high and so is pressure when sailing with a
>> spouse. When sailing on another accomplished skippers boat as added crew,
>> you see how the experienced crew handles everything and before you know it
>> you relax, a few years have passed, and your right there with them, loving
>> every second.....
>>
>> I wouldn't expect every wife to catch the bug I did, but they might
>> certainly see sailing from a different perspective and enjoy it more with a
>> higher level of confidence.
>>
>> I know on Lake Lanier and other bodies of water there are some very patient
>> and good skippers that would welcome a learning spouse. I'd be happy to help
>> as well...
>>
>> Joanne Mocny
>> S/V Obsession
>> C&C 37/40+
>>
>> Sent from my iPad
>>
>> On Sep 23, 2014, at 4:59 PM, Gary Nylander via CnC-List
>> <cnc-list@cnc-list.com> wrote:
>>
>> Try Womanship - they have a school in Annapolis, but hold classes in the
>> Caribbean.
>>
>> A friend went - loved it.
>>
>> Gary
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: Tim Goodyear via CnC-List
>> To: Dennis C. ; cnc-list@cnc-list.com
>> Cc: Jean-Francois J Rivard
>> Sent: Tuesday, September 23, 2014 4:46 PM
>> Subject: Re: Stus-List Wife dosen't like it when the boat leans
>>
>> Dennis / others,
>>
>> Do you have any recommendations for such a course, preferably somewhere warm
>> and with some considerable learning opportunities (moving from very
>> competent crew to command / self-sufficiency, not basics)? Bev / other
>> female listers, I'd be interested in your opinions too.
>>
>> Thanks,
>>
>> Tim
>>
>> On Sep 22, 2014, at 5:31 PM, "Dennis C. via CnC-List"
>> <cnc-list@cnc-list.com> wrote:
>>
>> Don't just send your lady to sailing lessons. Send her to a week long
>> ladies only sailing class. It's a LOT different than taking lessons with a
>> coed group. She will not just get sailing lessons, she will get emotional
>> support, counselling, share experiences with other women, etc. Chances are
>> it will be a much more positive experience for her.
>>
>> I've had a couple lady friends do it and they absolutely swear it's the only
>> way to learn sailing.
>>
>> Dennis C.
>> Touche' 35-1 #83
>> Mandeville, LA
>>
>> On Mon, Sep 22, 2014 at 4:03 PM, Jean-Francois J Rivard via CnC-List
>> <cnc-list@cnc-list.com> wrote:
>>
>> I'll let you guys know how the lessons help..
>>
>>
>> Racing did not help, she clammed-up even worse for fear that she'd screw
>> something up. Even if on that particular race, everything that could be
>> screwed-up was already taken care of so no one really cared. No amount of
>> screwing-up was going to make our last place any worse. :-)
>>
>>
>> Giving her the helm.. Been there done that, same result.
>>
>>
>> Talking to other wifes.. It depends, At the club parties it runs the gammut
>> from enthusiastic sailor ladies to killjoys that never come out sailing,
>> just show up for parties.. When she runs into the lather all they say is
>> too hot, too cold, too windy, too sunny, too humid, etc, etc. then I'm
>> loosing ground.
>>
>>
>> I'm banking on the lessons.. Truth to be told, if you're that much not into
>> the boating thing, just sitting around on a boat is not much more fun than
>> sitting around anywhere else.. Especially given the fact that on the lake,
>> when it's (Really) windy, it's usually not very sunny, often a bit coldish,
>> so you have to look at the big picture to appreciate what's going on.
>>
>>
>> On the plus she's fairly athletic so maybe once she told what's what by
>> someone else and understands better what's going on she'll get into the
>> workout / physical side of it and get a little rush that way...
>>
>>
>> I guess that's typical boat stuff: one more thing to figure out...
>>
>>
>> -Francois
>> 1990 34+ "Take Five"
>> Lake Lanier, Georgia.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
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