John's email is a work of art. I almost wanted to smoke a cigarette after reading it. Well done!
73,
Steve, W5ICR
-----Original Message-----
From: BVARC <
[email protected]> On Behalf Of John Weller via BVARC
Sent: Tuesday, July 8, 2025 9:50 PM
To:
[email protected]
Cc: John Weller <
[email protected]>; Jamie Crandall <
[email protected]>;
[email protected]
Subject: Re: [BVARC] Removal from E mail list
Subject: ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS NONSENSE?! (And, FYI, I'm STILL on this List!)
To Whom It May Irrelevantly Concern (and Specifically, Whoever's In Charge of This Email List That's Haunting My Inbox),
Let's cut the pleasantries, shall we? Because honestly, pleasantries are the LAST thing I feel when I open my email and see yet ANOTHER missive from the illustrious (and I use that word in the most sarcastic way possible) BVARC.
Yes, THAT BVARC. The BVARC that, despite my repeated, nay, DESPERATE attempts to escape its digital clutches, continues to bombard my inbox with updates, announcements, and whatever other digital detritus it deems worthy of my (unsolicited) attention.
Seriously, BVARC, are you TRYING to drive me insane? Are you actively plotting to fill my digital life with so much amateur radio club news that I forget how to enjoy, I don't know, SUNSHINE? GOOD BOOKS? THINGS THAT DON'T INVOLVE TALKING INTO A MICROPHONE IN
MY BASEMENT?
Let me reiterate, just in case the concept is somehow eluding you: **I. DID. NOT. SIGN. UP. FOR. THIS.**
Never, at any point in my life, have I willingly, consciously, or even accidentally opted-in to receive communications from BVARC. I have no idea how I ended up on this list. Perhaps a rogue squirrel, hopped up on acorns, hijacked a computer and subscribed
me? Perhaps a shadowy government agency is trying to force me into amateur radio as part of some bizarre social experiment? (If so, agency dudes, let me assure you, this is NOT working. It's just making me REALLY annoyed.)
Whatever the reason, the fact remains: I am an unwilling participant in this digital purgatory, condemned to receive endless emails about antenna deployments, club meetings, and the thrilling adventures of… I don't know… Bob, the guy who can apparently transmit
ham radio signals to the MOON. (Congrats, Bob. Seriously, I'm sure your lunar transmissions are fascinating. Now leave me alone.)
I have, on multiple occasions, attempted to unsubscribe myself from this torment. I've clicked the unsubscribe links (which, I might add, look suspiciously like they were designed in 1995 on Geocities). I've replied to emails, begging for mercy. I've even (and
I'm not proud of this) considered hiring a professional email unsubscribe service, which I'm pretty sure is a thing that exists in this modern hellscape.
And yet, HERE. WE. ARE.
I am still receiving your emails. My inbox is still groaning under the weight of your digital missives. My soul is slowly being crushed under the relentless barrage of information about… well, frankly, I've stopped reading them. I just see the "BVARC" in the
sender field and my eye starts to twitch.
So, let me be abundantly clear, in language that even a ham radio operator using Morse code at half-speed can understand:
**REMOVE ME FROM THIS EMAIL LIST. IMMEDIATELY. POST-HASTE. PRONTO. BEFORE I LOSE MY SANITY AND START TRANSMITTING OBSCENITIES INTO THE IONOSPHERE.**
I'm not asking nicely anymore. I'm DEMANDING. I'm practically BEGGING, though I'm disguising it as aggressive indignation because that's how I cope with frustration.
Consider this my final warning. If I receive ONE MORE EMAIL from BVARC about anything, and I mean ANYTHING, I will be forced to take drastic measures. I'm not sure what those measures will be yet, but they will be… unpleasant. For you. (And possibly for me,
depending on the legality of sending strongly worded letters via carrier pigeon.)
Perhaps I'll flood your physical mailbox with applications for "Free Ham Radio Equipment" written in crayon. Perhaps I'll start a rival amateur radio club called "BVARC Sucks, Let's Just Read Books." Perhaps I'll just hire a mariachi band to play outside your
headquarters 24/7 until you relent.
Don't underestimate my resolve. I'm fueled by the righteous anger of a thousand unsolicited emails. I am the digital equivalent of a honey badger, except instead of honey, I'm after the sweet, sweet taste of email list freedom.
So, please, for the love of all that is holy (and for the sake of my sanity), **REMOVE ME FROM THIS LIST.**
And while you're at it, maybe consider implementing a double opt-in system? You know, that thing where people ACTUALLY HAVE TO CONFIRM THEY WANT TO RECEIVE YOUR EMAILS? Just a thought.
In the meantime, I'll be waiting (impatiently) for the sweet, sweet silence of a BVARC-free inbox. Don't disappoint me.
Sincerely (but also with a simmering rage),
P.S. If I receive an automated "We're sorry you're leaving" email after this, I may actually explode. Just saying.
P.P.S. And please, for the love of all that is decent, do not reply to this email with a "Thank you for your feedback" message. I will interpret that as a declaration of war.
P.P.P.S. Okay, I'm done now. But seriously, REMOVE ME.
Sent from my iPhone
