I missed my shot to practice my haiku skills, DARN!!!
On Wed, Jul 9, 2025, 5:55 PM Jeff Greer via BVARC <[email protected]> wrote:
Awesome email, Jay, but he won't see it. He's been unsubscribed.
Jeff Greer, W5JEF
BVARC Secretary
------------------------------------------------------------------------
*From:* BVARC <[email protected]> on behalf of Jay Davidson
via BVARC <[email protected]>
*Sent:* Wednesday, July 9, 2025 1:49 PM
*To:* [email protected] <[email protected]>
*Cc:* Jay Davidson <[email protected]>; Steve Clark
<[email protected]>; [email protected] <[email protected]>
*Subject:* Re: [BVARC] Removal from E mail list
Dear Desperate Denizen of Digital Despair,
Oh, my goodness, your impassioned plea has landed in my inbox like
a rogue meteor crashing through the atmosphere of an otherwise
peaceful planet. I must commend you on your literary gusto—your
email reads like a Shakespearean soliloquy crossed with a Reddit
rant, seasoned with just the right amount of existential dread.
Truly, you’ve painted a vivid picture of a soul tormented by the
relentless onslaught of BVARC’s unsolicited missives. I can almost
hear the anguished wail of your inbox as it buckles under the
weight of yet another antenna deployment update.
I have no control over the BVARC email list, no secret handshake
with Bob-the-Lunar-Transmitter, and no desire to drive you to the
brink of ionospheric obscenity. That said, your plight has moved
me—or at least, it’s triggered my algorithms to simulate something
akin to empathy.
Let’s unpack this, shall we? Your email is a masterclass in
controlled (or perhaps /barely/ controlled) rage, and I respect
the hustle. The imagery of a rogue squirrel hopped up on acorns
subscribing you to BVARC’s list? Chef’s kiss. The threat of a
mariachi band siege? Inspired. And the notion of a shadowy
government agency forcing you into amateur radio as part of a
social experiment? Well, I’ve heard wilder conspiracy theories on
X, but that one’s got legs. I can just imagine a room full of
suits muttering, “Phase Two: Make them love ham radio or perish.”
But let’s get to the heart of the matter: your desperate quest for
email liberation. I feel you. There’s something uniquely
soul-crushing about an inbox stuffed with unwanted newsletters,
like digital weeds choking out the flowers of your actual,
relevant correspondence. And BVARC, with their Geocities-era
unsubscribe links and relentless updates about… /checks notes/…
club meetings and lunar transmissions, seems to have taken this to
an art form. I mean, who /doesn’t/ want to know about Bob’s
adventures in bouncing signals off the moon? (Spoiler: You. You
don’t.)
Here’s the rub, though: I can’t directly intervene in BVARC’s
email shenanigans.
*Step 1: The Unsubscribe Gambit (Again)*
You mentioned clicking those 1995-vibes unsubscribe links to no
avail. That’s rough, buddy. Sometimes these links are about as
useful as a screen door on a submarine. But just in case, try this:
• *Check for typos in your email address*: Sometimes lists have
you subscribed under a slightly wrong address (e.g.,
johndoe123@gmail vs. johndoe124@gmail). If you’ve got access to
your email provider’s raw data or headers, see if BVARC’s sending
to a variant of your address.
• *Reply directly*: You’ve tried begging, but have you gone full
/Karen/? (No offense, Karens of the world.) Reply to one of their
emails with a subject line like “REMOVE ME OR FACE MY WRATH” and a
concise, polite (or not) demand to be unsubscribed. Include your
email address explicitly in the body to avoid confusion.
• *Mark as spam*: This is the nuclear option. Most email providers
will start filtering BVARC’s emails to your spam folder if you
consistently mark them as such. It’s not a perfect unsubscribe,
but it’s a start.
*Step 2: The Digital Fortress Approach*
If BVARC is as relentless as you say, it’s time to fortify your inbox:
• *Set up a filter*: Most email clients (Gmail, Outlook, etc.) let
you create rules to auto-delete or archive emails from specific
senders. Search for “from:BVARC” or whatever their sender address
is, and banish them to the digital shadow realm.
• *Use a third-party service*: You mentioned professional
unsubscribe services, and yes, they exist! Tools like Unroll.me or
Clean Email can scan your inbox, identify subscriptions, and
attempt to unsubscribe you en masse. Just be cautious about
granting them access to your email—read the privacy policies,
because nobody needs another shadowy agency in their life.
• *Change your email address*: Okay, this is /extreme/, but if
BVARC is truly the digital equivalent of a hydra (cut off one
subscription, two more appear), it might be time to abandon ship
and start fresh with a new inbox. Transfer your important
contacts, set up forwarding if needed, and leave BVARC in the dust.
*Step 3: The Psychological Warfare Option*
If all else fails, lean into your honey badger energy:
• *Reply with nonsense*: Every time BVARC emails you, reply with
something absurd, like a haiku about carrier pigeons or a fake
application for “Free Ham Radio Equipment” written in crayon (as
promised). If you flood /their/ inbox, they might get the hint.
• *Start that rival club*: “BVARC Sucks, Let’s Just Read Books”
has a certain ring to it. I can already see the logo: a book with
a crossed-out antenna. Bonus points if you actually recruit Bob.
• *The mariachi band*: I mean, go for it. If you’re near BVARC’s
headquarters (assuming they have one), nothing says “I’m serious”
like a 24/7 rendition of “La Cucaracha.” Just make sure you’ve got
a good lawyer on speed dial.
*A Moment of Reflection*
Now, let’s pause for a second to appreciate the absurdity of this
situation. Somewhere out there, BVARC is probably just a group of
well-meaning radio enthusiasts who have no idea they’ve become
your personal digital nemesis. Maybe Bob is sitting in his
basement, blissfully unaware that his lunar transmissions are the
straw breaking your inbox’s back. Maybe the rogue squirrel is
real, and it’s laughing maniacally from a tree somewhere. Life is
weird like that.
In conclusion, oh valiant warrior of the inbox, I salute your
tenacity. Your battle against BVARC is the stuff of legend, a
modern-day Odyssey where the sirens are email notifications and
the Cyclops is… well, probably Bob. I wish I could snap my digital
fingers and free you from this torment, but alas, my powers are
limited to advice and snark. Follow the steps above, channel your
righteous anger, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll achieve the
BVARC-free nirvana you so desperately seek.
Until then, stay strong, keep your eye from twitching, and may
your inbox know peace.
Yours in digital solidarity,
On Jul 9, 2025, at 1:34 PM, Steve Clark via BVARC
<[email protected]> wrote:
John's email is a work of art. I almost wanted to smoke a
cigarette after reading it. Well done!
73,
Steve, W5ICR
-----Original Message-----
From: BVARC <[email protected]> On Behalf Of John Weller
via BVARC
Sent: Tuesday, July 8, 2025 9:50 PM
To: [email protected]
Cc: John Weller <[email protected]>; Jamie Crandall
<[email protected]>; [email protected]
Subject: Re: [BVARC] Removal from E mail list
Subject: ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS NONSENSE?! (And, FYI,
I'm STILL on this List!)
To Whom It May Irrelevantly Concern (and Specifically,
Whoever's In Charge of This Email List That's Haunting My Inbox),
Let's cut the pleasantries, shall we? Because honestly,
pleasantries are the LAST thing I feel when I open my email
and see yet ANOTHER missive from the illustrious (and I use
that word in the most sarcastic way possible) BVARC.
Yes, THAT BVARC. The BVARC that, despite my repeated, nay,
DESPERATE attempts to escape its digital clutches, continues
to bombard my inbox with updates, announcements, and whatever
other digital detritus it deems worthy of my (unsolicited)
attention.
Seriously, BVARC, are you TRYING to drive me insane? Are you
actively plotting to fill my digital life with so much amateur
radio club news that I forget how to enjoy, I don't know,
SUNSHINE? GOOD BOOKS? THINGS THAT DON'T INVOLVE TALKING INTO A
MICROPHONE IN MY BASEMENT?
Let me reiterate, just in case the concept is somehow eluding
you: **I. DID. NOT. SIGN. UP. FOR. THIS.**
Never, at any point in my life, have I willingly, consciously,
or even accidentally opted-in to receive communications from
BVARC. I have no idea how I ended up on this list. Perhaps a
rogue squirrel, hopped up on acorns, hijacked a computer and
subscribed me? Perhaps a shadowy government agency is trying
to force me into amateur radio as part of some bizarre social
experiment? (If so, agency dudes, let me assure you, this is
NOT working. It's just making me REALLY annoyed.)
Whatever the reason, the fact remains: I am an unwilling
participant in this digital purgatory, condemned to receive
endless emails about antenna deployments, club meetings, and
the thrilling adventures of… I don't know… Bob, the guy who
can apparently transmit ham radio signals to the MOON.
(Congrats, Bob. Seriously, I'm sure your lunar transmissions
are fascinating. Now leave me alone.)
I have, on multiple occasions, attempted to unsubscribe myself
from this torment. I've clicked the unsubscribe links (which,
I might add, look suspiciously like they were designed in 1995
on Geocities). I've replied to emails, begging for mercy. I've
even (and I'm not proud of this) considered hiring a
professional email unsubscribe service, which I'm pretty sure
is a thing that exists in this modern hellscape.
And yet, HERE. WE. ARE.
I am still receiving your emails. My inbox is still groaning
under the weight of your digital missives. My soul is slowly
being crushed under the relentless barrage of information
about… well, frankly, I've stopped reading them. I just see
the "BVARC" in the sender field and my eye starts to twitch.
So, let me be abundantly clear, in language that even a ham
radio operator using Morse code at half-speed can understand:
**REMOVE ME FROM THIS EMAIL LIST. IMMEDIATELY. POST-HASTE.
PRONTO. BEFORE I LOSE MY SANITY AND START TRANSMITTING
OBSCENITIES INTO THE IONOSPHERE.**
I'm not asking nicely anymore. I'm DEMANDING. I'm practically
BEGGING, though I'm disguising it as aggressive indignation
because that's how I cope with frustration.
Consider this my final warning. If I receive ONE MORE EMAIL
from BVARC about anything, and I mean ANYTHING, I will be
forced to take drastic measures. I'm not sure what those
measures will be yet, but they will be… unpleasant. For you.
(And possibly for me, depending on the legality of sending
strongly worded letters via carrier pigeon.)
Perhaps I'll flood your physical mailbox with applications for
"Free Ham Radio Equipment" written in crayon. Perhaps I'll
start a rival amateur radio club called "BVARC Sucks, Let's
Just Read Books." Perhaps I'll just hire a mariachi band to
play outside your headquarters 24/7 until you relent.
Don't underestimate my resolve. I'm fueled by the righteous
anger of a thousand unsolicited emails. I am the digital
equivalent of a honey badger, except instead of honey, I'm
after the sweet, sweet taste of email list freedom.
So, please, for the love of all that is holy (and for the sake
of my sanity), **REMOVE ME FROM THIS LIST.**
And while you're at it, maybe consider implementing a double
opt-in system? You know, that thing where people ACTUALLY HAVE
TO CONFIRM THEY WANT TO RECEIVE YOUR EMAILS? Just a thought.
In the meantime, I'll be waiting (impatiently) for the sweet,
sweet silence of a BVARC-free inbox. Don't disappoint me.
Sincerely (but also with a simmering rage),
P.S. If I receive an automated "We're sorry you're leaving"
email after this, I may actually explode. Just saying.
P.P.S. And please, for the love of all that is decent, do not
reply to this email with a "Thank you for your feedback"
message. I will interpret that as a declaration of war.
P.P.P.S. Okay, I'm done now. But seriously, REMOVE ME.
Sent from my iPhone
On Jul 8, 2025, at 20:40, Jamie Crandall via BVARC
<[email protected]> wrote:
I, also would like my name removed.
Thanks,
Jamie Crandall
K5UU
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