LOL. Definitely team John here!! I almost don't want to tell him it takes 2 seconds to handle on his own. (block, tag as spam, exclusion lists, custom rules, and more). It's what I'll do, as soon as the novelty of these humourous email responses fade away.
- BRIAN FLORES 5704 Val Verde St., Suite 4 Houston, Tx. 77057 713-785-3500 / 800-297-9203 // office 832-721-6267 // cell / text [email protected] // email cognetic.com // web support.cognetic.com // live support On Tue, Jul 8, 2025, 8:50 PM John Weller via BVARC <[email protected]> wrote: > Subject: ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS NONSENSE?! (And, FYI, I'm STILL on > this List!) > > To Whom It May Irrelevantly Concern (and Specifically, Whoever's In Charge > of This Email List That's Haunting My Inbox), > > Let's cut the pleasantries, shall we? Because honestly, pleasantries are > the LAST thing I feel when I open my email and see yet ANOTHER missive from > the illustrious (and I use that word in the most sarcastic way possible) > BVARC. > > Yes, THAT BVARC. The BVARC that, despite my repeated, nay, DESPERATE > attempts to escape its digital clutches, continues to bombard my inbox with > updates, announcements, and whatever other digital detritus it deems worthy > of my (unsolicited) attention. > > Seriously, BVARC, are you TRYING to drive me insane? Are you actively > plotting to fill my digital life with so much amateur radio club news that > I forget how to enjoy, I don't know, SUNSHINE? GOOD BOOKS? THINGS THAT > DON'T INVOLVE TALKING INTO A MICROPHONE IN MY BASEMENT? > > Let me reiterate, just in case the concept is somehow eluding you: **I. > DID. NOT. SIGN. UP. FOR. THIS.** > > Never, at any point in my life, have I willingly, consciously, or even > accidentally opted-in to receive communications from BVARC. I have no idea > how I ended up on this list. Perhaps a rogue squirrel, hopped up on acorns, > hijacked a computer and subscribed me? Perhaps a shadowy government agency > is trying to force me into amateur radio as part of some bizarre social > experiment? (If so, agency dudes, let me assure you, this is NOT working. > It's just making me REALLY annoyed.) > > Whatever the reason, the fact remains: I am an unwilling participant in > this digital purgatory, condemned to receive endless emails about antenna > deployments, club meetings, and the thrilling adventures of… I don't know… > Bob, the guy who can apparently transmit ham radio signals to the MOON. > (Congrats, Bob. Seriously, I'm sure your lunar transmissions are > fascinating. Now leave me alone.) > > I have, on multiple occasions, attempted to unsubscribe myself from this > torment. I've clicked the unsubscribe links (which, I might add, look > suspiciously like they were designed in 1995 on Geocities). I've replied to > emails, begging for mercy. I've even (and I'm not proud of this) considered > hiring a professional email unsubscribe service, which I'm pretty sure is a > thing that exists in this modern hellscape. > > And yet, HERE. WE. ARE. > > I am still receiving your emails. My inbox is still groaning under the > weight of your digital missives. My soul is slowly being crushed under the > relentless barrage of information about… well, frankly, I've stopped > reading them. I just see the "BVARC" in the sender field and my eye starts > to twitch. > > So, let me be abundantly clear, in language that even a ham radio operator > using Morse code at half-speed can understand: > > **REMOVE ME FROM THIS EMAIL LIST. IMMEDIATELY. POST-HASTE. PRONTO. BEFORE > I LOSE MY SANITY AND START TRANSMITTING OBSCENITIES INTO THE IONOSPHERE.** > > I'm not asking nicely anymore. I'm DEMANDING. I'm practically BEGGING, > though I'm disguising it as aggressive indignation because that's how I > cope with frustration. > > Consider this my final warning. If I receive ONE MORE EMAIL from BVARC > about anything, and I mean ANYTHING, I will be forced to take drastic > measures. I'm not sure what those measures will be yet, but they will be… > unpleasant. For you. (And possibly for me, depending on the legality of > sending strongly worded letters via carrier pigeon.) > > Perhaps I'll flood your physical mailbox with applications for "Free Ham > Radio Equipment" written in crayon. Perhaps I'll start a rival amateur > radio club called "BVARC Sucks, Let's Just Read Books." Perhaps I'll just > hire a mariachi band to play outside your headquarters 24/7 until you > relent. > > Don't underestimate my resolve. I'm fueled by the righteous anger of a > thousand unsolicited emails. I am the digital equivalent of a honey badger, > except instead of honey, I'm after the sweet, sweet taste of email list > freedom. > > So, please, for the love of all that is holy (and for the sake of my > sanity), **REMOVE ME FROM THIS LIST.** > > And while you're at it, maybe consider implementing a double opt-in > system? You know, that thing where people ACTUALLY HAVE TO CONFIRM THEY > WANT TO RECEIVE YOUR EMAILS? Just a thought. > > In the meantime, I'll be waiting (impatiently) for the sweet, sweet > silence of a BVARC-free inbox. Don't disappoint me. > > Sincerely (but also with a simmering rage), > > P.S. If I receive an automated "We're sorry you're leaving" email after > this, I may actually explode. Just saying. > > P.P.S. And please, for the love of all that is decent, do not reply to > this email with a "Thank you for your feedback" message. I will interpret > that as a declaration of war. > > P.P.P.S. Okay, I'm done now. But seriously, REMOVE ME. > > Sent from my iPhone > > > On Jul 8, 2025, at 20:40, Jamie Crandall via BVARC <[email protected]> > wrote: > > > > I, also would like my name removed. > > > > Thanks, > > Jamie Crandall > > K5UU > > ________________________________________________ > > Brazos Valley Amateur Radio Club > > > > BVARC mailing list > > [email protected] > > http://mail.bvarc.org/mailman/listinfo/bvarc_bvarc.org > > Publicly available archives are available here: > https://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ > > ________________________________________________ > Brazos Valley Amateur Radio Club > > BVARC mailing list > [email protected] > http://mail.bvarc.org/mailman/listinfo/bvarc_bvarc.org > Publicly available archives are available here: > https://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ >
________________________________________________ Brazos Valley Amateur Radio Club BVARC mailing list [email protected] http://mail.bvarc.org/mailman/listinfo/bvarc_bvarc.org Publicly available archives are available here: https://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/
