At 08:55 AM Sunday 7/11/2010, Charlie Bell wrote:
On 11/07/2010, at 11:40 PM, Ronn! Blankenship wrote:
>
> I had in mind more the conditions that lead to the need for such
neologisms as "baby daddy" or other terms to indicate a parent who
is little if at all involved in the lives of either the child or
the "baby mama(s)" he impregnated.
>
> IOW, it takes a lot more than biology to be a "Dad" (which has
been the point made by some others in this thread also. Indeed
biology is not always even necessary: a couple who want a child
enough to adopt one may be every bit as good parents as a couple
who have their own wanted and loved biological child to whose
well-being they are committed.)
I have never met my "biological parents". I know nothing about them
(other than their genes were clearly awesome ;-) )
Yeah, me too, on both counts.
>> Dave
>>
>> Heather Has Two Mommies Maru
>
>
>
> There was a recent (announced this year, at least) study that
seems to show that if Heather was born to two mommies who were
already in a committed relationship when one of them became
pregnant via donor she is probably as well-adjusted, etc., as
Tiffany who comes from an intact two-parent (one of each sex)
family. Of course I'm not the only person whose immediate
conclusion was that the extra time, trouble, and expense involved
in the conception via donor indicates that Heather's two mommies
clearly planned for and wanted her. So the best thing for the kids
is clearly to have their parents in the same house and committed to
each other (in the words of the old the nursery rhyme, "First comes
love, then comes marriage, *then* comes a baby in a baby
carriage.") and the kids rather than living on opposite ends of
town or even in different cities or states and keeping the kids
almost constantly on the run back and forth between them, even if
they don't engage in the additional reportedly-all-too-common
practice of each trying to influence the kids against the other.
Yep, pretty much what I was saying a few posts ago. Parenting is
about commitment, responsibility, love, and not a little bit of luck too.
My real* parents did an extraordinary job, especially considering
what they had to work with.
______
*You will no doubt figure from this that whenever someone finds out
I'm adopted and asks, "So what about your 'real' parents?" I always
tell them that the parents who put up with me and sat with me in the
ER and later the hospital room and who repainted the kitchen after a
couple of experiments took the paint off the ceiling and one wall and
... are my _real_ parents.
Single parents can do it too (and people seem too forget that single
parents are just as often bereaved as unmarried, so there's no
choice for a lot of them),
Absolutely! I know at least one who not only had one of her own but
took in foster children and adopted if I remember correctly three of
the latter and raised at least the first one to college age before
finding somebody and getting remarried a few months ago.
but it's a lot harder to do well on one's own.
Not least of the problems being simply earning enough to keep things
going in a time when it seems more and more both parents have to work
to make ends meet.
. . . ronn! :)
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