On Feb 24, 2025, at 8:09 AM, mohamed.boucad...@orange.com wrote:
Hi Alice, all,
For Item #7 (Section 4.1), Option A works for me as well.
Please find below two comments about the edited version:
• Title: s/Extensions Headers/Extension Headers
• I agree with the change in the first para of S6.2.2. However, please
note that the OLD text was echoing the content
athttps://www.iana.org/assignments/tcp-parameters/tcp-parameters.xhtml#tcp-exids.
It is worth to report this to IANA.
Other than that, and assuming the above changes are implemented, I approve the publication of this document.
Many thanks for all your efforts.
Cheers,
Med
De : Benoit Claise <benoit.claise=40huawei....@dmarc.ietf.org>
Envoyé : jeudi 20 février 2025 09:54
À : Alice Russo <aru...@staff.rfc-editor.org>
Cc : BOUCADAIR Mohamed INNOV/NET <mohamed.boucad...@orange.com>; opsawg-...@ietf.org;
opsawg-cha...@ietf.org; thomas.g...@swisscom.com; Mahesh Jethanandani <mjethanand...@gmail.com>;
auth48archive@rfc-ed <auth48archive@rfc-editor.org>; RFC Editor <rfc-edi...@rfc-editor.org>; me
<benoit.cla...@huawei.com>
Objet : Re: AUTH48: RFC-to-be 9740 <draft-ietf-opsawg-ipfix-tcpo-v6eh-18> for
your review
Hi Alice,
On 2/19/2025 11:41 PM, Alice Russo wrote:
Benoit,
Thank you for replying to the questions. The document has been updated accordingly; please see the follow-ups below. The revised files are here (please refresh):
https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9740.html
https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9740.txt
https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9740.pdf
https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9740.xml
This diff file shows all changes from the approved I-D:
https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9740-diff.html
https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9740-rfcdiff.html (side by side)
This diff file shows the changes made during AUTH48 thus far:
https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9740-auth48diff.html
https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9740-auth48rfcdiff.html (side by side)
Re: #3 (Section 1.1), we added the bulleted item; please review. (We are assuming the reply "Yes" was about adding the bulleted item, rather than removing the sentence.)
Indeed.
Re: #6 (Section 3.4), no update has been made. To clarify, the question is: should "Destination Options header" be "Destination Options headers" in this list? (The question was not about the word "Options".)
Ah.
No need to change: "Destination Options header" is right
Re: #7 (Section 4.1), we await word from Med.
Re: #10 (Table 3), no updates have been made, as perhaps the capitalization intentionally matches RFC 5102. Specifically, we see "Routing header", "Fragment header - first fragment", and "Fragment header - not first fragment" in RFC 5102. Please let us know if there are descriptions that you want to change.
We're good.
Thanks for your work.
Regards, Benoit
We will wait to hear from you again and from your coauthors
before continuing the publication process. This page shows
the AUTH48 status of your document:
https://www.rfc-editor.org/auth48/rfc9740
Thank you.
RFC Editor/ar
On Feb 18, 2025, at 2:59 AM, Benoit Claise <benoit.claise=40huawei....@dmarc.ietf.org> wrote:
Dear IANA,
I reviewed https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9740-rfcdiff.html and all changes look good.
On 2/18/2025 1:00 AM, rfc-edi...@rfc-editor.org wrote:
Authors,
While reviewing this document during AUTH48 (
https://www.rfc-editor.org/authors/rfc9740.html
and other formats), please resolve the following questions, which are also in
the XML file.
1) <!--[rfced] May the title be updated for readability as follows or otherwise?
Original:
Extended TCP Options and IPv6 Extension Headers IPFIX Information Elements
Perhaps:
New IPFIX Information Elements for TCP Options and IPv6 Extensions Headers
-->
That works for me.
2) <!--[rfced] FYI, this sentence has been rephrased to avoid the dangling
"IEs" at the end of the sentence. Please review. (One hyphen is actually
two hyphens within the document.)
Original:
This document specifies new IP Flow Information Export (IPFIX)
[RFC7011] Information Elements (IEs) to solve a set of issues
encountered with the specifications of ipv6ExtensionHeaders (to
export IPv6 extension headers) and tcpOptions (to export TCP options)
IEs [IANA-IPFIX].
Current:
This document specifies new IP Flow Information Export (IPFIX)
[RFC7011] Information Elements (IEs) to solve a set of issues
encountered with the specifications of two IEs -
ipv6ExtensionHeaders (to export IPv6 extension headers) and
tcpOptions (to export TCP options) [IANA-IPFIX].
-->
Good improvement
3) <!--[rfced] Please clarify the last sentence of this list item. It seems
similar to the first sentence; should it be removed? If it's not the
same (perhaps this was intended to distinguish between "specify" and
"discuss"), should it be a separate bullet point?
Original:
The specification of the ipv6ExtensionHeaders IPFIX IE (64) does not:
[...]
* Specify whether the exported values match the full enclosed values
or only up to a limit imposed by hardware or software (e.g.,
Section 1.1 of [RFC8883]). Note that some implementations may not
be able to export all observed extension headers in a Flow because
of a hardware or software limit (see, e.g.,
[I-D.ietf-6man-eh-limits]). The specification of the
ipv6ExtensionHeaders IE does not discuss whether it covers all
enclosed extension headers or only up to a limit.
Perhaps:
The specification of the ipv6ExtensionHeaders IPFIX IE (64) does not:
[...]
* Specify whether the exported values match the full enclosed values
or only up to a limit imposed by hardware or software (e.g.,
Section 1.1 of [RFC8883]). Note that some implementations may not
be able to export all observed extension headers in a Flow because
of a hardware or software limit (see, e.g., [EH-LIMITS]).
* Discuss whether it covers all enclosed extension headers or only
up to a limit.
-->
Yes.
4) <!--[rfced] May this be rephrased for conciseness and readability?
In particular, "aggregate extension headers length" reads oddly.
Original:
* Specify how to report extension header chains or aggregate
extension headers length.
Perhaps:
* Specify how to report chains or aggregate lengths of
extension headers.
Or (because "extension header chain" is a defined term):
* Specify how to report extension header chains or
aggregate lengths of extension headers.
This one above (extension header chain is a defined term)
-->
5) <!--[rfced] Regarding this defined term, may we change "chain" to "chains"?
It reads oddly as singular.
Original:
Flow with varying extension header chain: Refers to a Flow where
distinct extension header chains are observed.
Suggested:
Flow with varying extension header chains: Refers to a Flow where
distinct extension header chains are observed.
Yes.
Examples of usage are below. [This is not a comprehensive list.]
Original (Section 3.3):
Extension headers observed in a Flow with varying extension header
chain MUST NOT be grouped ...
Suggested:
Extension headers observed in a Flow with varying extension header
chains MUST NOT be grouped ...
yes.
Original (Section 3.6):
Each header chain length of a Flow with varying extension header
chain MUST be exported in a separate
ipv6ExtensionHeadersChainLength IE.
Suggested:
Each header chain length of a Flow with varying extension header
chains MUST be exported in a separate
ipv6ExtensionHeadersChainLength IE.
-->
Yes
6) <!--[rfced] Should "Desination Options header" be plural here?
Yes. See https://www.iana.org/assignments/ipv6-parameters/ipv6-parameters.xhtml
60 Destination Options for IPv6 [RFC8200]
And https://www.rfc-editor.org/rfc/rfc8200.html#section-4.6
We ask because the other headers are preceded by "a"
and because of plural usage in the bulleted list that follows.
Original:
For example, if an IPv6
packet of a Flow includes a Hop-by-Hop Options header, a
Destination Options header, a Fragment header, and Destination
Options header, the ipv6ExtensionHeaderTypeCountList IE will
report:
Perhaps:
For example, if an IPv6
packet of a Flow includes a Hop-by-Hop Options header, a
Destination Options header, a Fragment header, and Destination
Options headers, the ipv6ExtensionHeaderTypeCountList IE will
report:
-->
7) <!--[rfced] Is the word "flags" necessary here? The phrase "the shared
TCP options flags" reads oddly and does not appear elsewhere in this
document. We note "TCP options flags" has appeared in
zero RFCs, and this document uses "a shared TCP option (Kind=253 or 254)
in a Flow" in Sections 4.2 and 4.3.
Background info
- TCP_FLAGS appears in RFC 3954
- It became tcpControlBits in RFC5102 and IANA
Original:
In order to optimize the use
of the reduced-size encoding in the presence of
tcpSharedOptionExID16List or tcpSharedOptionExID32List IEs, the
Exporter MUST NOT set to 1 the shared TCP options (Kind=253 or
254) flags of the tcpOptionsFull IE that is reported for the same
Flow.
Option A (if removing "flags"):
In order to optimize the use
of the reduced-size encoding in the presence of
tcpSharedOptionExID16List or tcpSharedOptionExID32List IEs, the
Exporter MUST NOT set to 1 the shared TCP options (Kind=253 or
254) of the tcpOptionsFull IE that is reported for the same Flow.
Option B (perhaps rephrase to retain "flags"):
In order to optimize the use
of the reduced-size encoding in the presence of
tcpSharedOptionExID16List or tcpSharedOptionExID32List IEs, the
Exporter MUST NOT set to 1 the flags of the shared TCP options (Kind=253
or 254) of the tcpOptionsFull IE that is reported for the same Flow.
-->
I believe I am fine with Option A but I would like to get Med's opinion here.
8) <!--[rfced] Regarding the figure titles, may the ordinal numbers
be removed as follows? The reason for "First Example" on Figure 1
is unclear. Also, we suggest removing the article ("A" / "An") for
conciseness and to match the title of Figure 7.
Original:
Figure 1: A First Example of EH/Bit Mappings in the ipv6ExtensionHeadersFull IE
Figure 2: A First Example of ipv6ExtensionHeadersFull IE with Reduced-size
Encoding
Figure 3: A Second Example of ipv6ExtensionHeadersFull IE with Reduced-size
Encoding
Figure 4: An Example of ipv6ExtensionHeadersFull IE Reported for an Extension
Header Chain
Figure 5: An Example of TCP Options / Bit Mappings in a tcpOptionsFull IE
Figure 6: An Example of tcpOptionsFull IE with Reduced-size Encdoing
Perhaps:
Figure 1: Example of EH/Bit Mappings in the ipv6ExtensionHeadersFull IE
Figure 2: Example A of ipv6ExtensionHeadersFull IE with Reduced-Size Encoding
Figure 3: Example B of ipv6ExtensionHeadersFull IE with Reduced-Size Encoding
Figure 4: Example of ipv6ExtensionHeadersFull IE Reported for an Extension
Header Chain
Figure 5: Example of TCP Options / Bit Mappings in a tcpOptionsFull IE
Figure 6: Example of tcpOptionsFull IE with Reduced-Size Encoding
-->
Ok.
9) <!--[rfced] Section 8.2: FYI, the name in the I-D and the IANA registry
did not match ("Type" missing in the I-D). We have updated
this document to match the IANA registry (and to match Section 3.1).
Please let us know if that is not what you intended.
Original: ipv6ExtensionHeader
Updated: ipv6ExtensionHeaderType
(to match 513 ipv6ExtensionHeaderType on
https://www.iana.org/assignments/ipfix
and Section 3.1)
-->
good catch.
10) <!--[rfced] For the Descriptions in Table 3, would you like to make the
capitalization more consistent or leave as is? Title case is used for
some items; initial-word capitalization is used for others. (If there
are any changes, then we will ask IANA to update the registry accordingly.)
For examples:
Routing header (5) vs. Mobility Header (7)
Destination Options for IPv6 (0) vs.
Fragmentation header - first fragment (4)
-->
Yes for consistency.
Many thanks for your work.
Regards, Benoit
11) <!-- [rfced] Please review the "Inclusive Language" portion of the online
Style Guide
<https://www.rfc-editor.org/styleguide/part2/#inclusive_language>
and let us know if any changes are needed. Updates of this nature typically
result in more precise language, which is helpful for readers.
Note that our script did not flag any words in particular, but this should
still be reviewed as a best practice.
-->
Thank you.
RFC Editor/ar
On Feb 17, 2025,
rfc-edi...@rfc-editor.org
wrote:
*****IMPORTANT*****
Updated 2025/02/17
RFC Author(s):
--------------
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Please review and resolve any questions raised by the RFC Editor
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