1. We're all children of the Mu. 2. A gambler goes into a casino with $1000, plays for a while, then counts up and finds he has $1300. "I'm winning" he says, "and it's because of my lucky troll doll".
3. A failed presidential candidate goes into an auditorium and plays a movie he made about melting ice, smokestacks, and SUVs. "It's warming" he says, "and it's because of our carbon output".
