Have you changed --max-con-per-child?  Usually a sudden bloat in a single
child is due to:

a    Running a Bayes expire in that child
b    Running an Awl expire
c    Processing a message that is very large

You can stop the first two from being problems by running a manual expire
from a cron job every so often and disabling the auto-expire runs.  You
should have a limit of 250K or so on the mail size to try to keep the third
from being a problem.

Usually (at least in my experience) the way a rule is written doesn't affect
the spamd memory size.  That is mostly determined by the number of rules to
get a reasonably static size, and then by things like expire runs or very
large messages to cause abnormal bloat.

If a lot of children get fat, you have a problem, of course.  Making sure
that they don't process a large number of mails before dying and restarting
is one way around this problem.

        Loren

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