You say you're using a router and a crossover cable... are you sure? I'd normally expect you to be using straight cables if you've a router involved and crossover only if you're connecting the two machines directly to one another.
Dunno if the router is noticing that you've got incompatible cables and doing something clever, perhaps slowing the thing down in the process? I don't know the router so can't advise much but another thing I'd look at would be the router statistics to see if either or both of the links are getting data errors... if so the three likely culprits would be a. router port(s), b. cable(s), c. network card(s). Sean
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