On Wed, 24 Mar 2010, Matthew Jadud wrote: > Hi Mel, > > On Wed, Mar 24, 2010 at 00:39, Mel Chua <m...@redhat.com> wrote: >> Okay, these words aren't coming out quite right, but here's a v.1.0. >> Patches extremely welcome. > > I can submit a patch later today. The reason: your first paragraph is > all background, and ends with a rhetorical question. You want your > reader to know, in the first sentence or two, that you are advertising > a workshop for faculty. The details of why (and why they want to be > part of it) can then follow.
That was *exactly* what I thought. Glad Matt beat me to it. :) --g > Your second paragraph, with a slightly modified first sentence, gets > right into the point of the email quickly. That might serve as a > better starting point. Patch forthcoming... > > Cheers, > Matt > >> http://teachingopensource.org/index.php/HOWTO_plan_a_POSSE#POSSE_announcement_email > _______________________________________________ > tos mailing list > tos@teachingopensource.org > http://teachingopensource.org/mailman/listinfo/tos > -- Educational materials should be high-quality, collaborative, and free. Visit http://opensource.com/education and join the conversation. _______________________________________________ tos mailing list tos@teachingopensource.org http://teachingopensource.org/mailman/listinfo/tos
