Hi Jim,

We addressed your feedback and submitted the new version 07.

Thanks,
Tobias

> On 9. Dec 2020, at 08:37, Tobias Sattler <satt...@united-domains.de> wrote:
> 
> Hi Jim,
> 
> Thank you for your additional feedback. We are currently preparing a new 
> version, and will incorporate that too.
> 
> Best,
> Tobias
> 
>> On 8. Dec 2020, at 21:42, Gould, James <jgo...@verisign.com 
>> <mailto:jgo...@verisign.com>> wrote:
>> 
>> Tobias,
>>  
>> I reviewed the updates made in draft-ietf-regext-epp-registry-maintenance-06 
>> and they look to have addressed my last feedback.  I have some additional 
>> feedback below:
>>  
>> Section 2.3 “Maintenance Elements”
>> The sentences “For creating a new maintenance the attribute <maint:crDate> 
>> MUST be set and the attribute <maint:upDate> SHALL NOT be present.” and “For 
>> updating a maintenance the attributes <maint:crDate> and <maint:upDate> MUST 
>> be set.” seem out of place.  I recommend removing these sentences and leave 
>> the definition of when the <maint:upDate> is set when describing that 
>> element. 
>> I would default to the elements be required like other EPP RFCs and defining 
>> the optional elements using the OPTIONAL key word.  For example:
>>                                                               i.      
>> <main:id>
>> Server unique identifier for the maintenance with an OPTIONAL “msg” 
>> attribute that includes a human-readable description of the maintenance.  
>> When the “msg” attribute is set, an OPTIONAL “lang” attribute MAY be present 
>> to identify the language if the negotiated value is something other than the 
>> default value of “en” (English).      
>> The “lang” attribute is defined in the XML schema but not described in the 
>> text. 
>>                                                             ii.      
>> <main:systems>
>> One or more <maint:system> elements that are affected by the maintenance.  
>> The <main:system> element contains the following child elements:
>> <maint:name>
>>                                                                              
>>                                                          i.      Indicates 
>> the name of the affected system, which as “EPP”, “WHOIS”, “DNS”, “Portal”, 
>> etc.. 
>> …
>> <maint:start>
>>                                                                              
>>                                                          i.      Contains 
>> the date and time that of the start of the maintenance. 
>> The format of the date and time is already covered by section 2.2 “Dates and 
>> Times”.
>> <maint:end>
>>                                                                              
>>                                                          i.      Contains 
>> the date and time of the end of the maintenance.  The <maint:end> element 
>> MUST be equal to or greater than the <maint:start> element.
>> The format of the date and time is already covered by section 2.2 “Dates and 
>> Times”.
>> …
>> <maint:description>
>>                                                                              
>>                                                          i.      A freeform 
>> description of the maintenance without having to create and traverse an 
>> external resource defined by the <maint:detail> element.  An OPTIONAL “lang” 
>> attribute MAY be present to identify the language if the negotiated value is 
>> something other than the default value of “en” (English).
>> The “lang” attribute is defined in the XML schema but not described in the 
>> text. 
>> <maint:crDate>
>>                                                                              
>>                                                          i.      Contains 
>> the date and time of maintenance object creation.
>> The format of the date and time is already covered by section 2.2 “Dates and 
>> Times”.
>> <maint:upDate>
>>                                                                              
>>                                                          i.      Contains 
>> the date and time of the most recent maintenance-object modification.  This 
>> element MUST NOT be present if the maintenance object has never been 
>> modified.
>> The format of the date and time is already covered by section 2.2 “Dates and 
>> Times”.
>> Section 3.1.3 “EPP <info> Command”
>> I would revise the second paragraph to read like:
>>                                                               i.      The 
>> <maint:info> element MUST contain a child element. It is either the 
>> <maint:id> element, described in Section 3.1.3.1, to query for a specific 
>> maintenance item or the <maint:list> element,  described in Section 3.1.3.2, 
>> to query all maintenance items.
>> Section 3.1.3.1 “Info Maintenance Item”
>> I would revise the first paragraph to read like:
>>                                                               i.      The 
>> information on a specific maintenance item can be retrieved by using the 
>> <info> command with the <maint:info> element and the <maint:id> child 
>> element, defined in Section 2.3.  If the maintenance identifier does not 
>> exist, the server MUST return an EPP error result code of 2303 [RFC5730].
>> 1.   The second paragraph can be removed.
>> Section 3.1.3.2 “Info Maintenance List”
>> I would revise the first paragraph to read like:
>>                                                               i.      The 
>> information for a list of maintenance items can can be retrieved by using 
>> the <info> command with the <maint:info> element and the empty <maint:list> 
>> child element.  Server policy determines if previous maintenances will be 
>> included in the list of maintenance items.
>> b.      Change “The <maint:infData> element contains the <maint:list> 
>> element a list of <maint:listItem> elements.” to “The <maint:infData> 
>> element contains the <maint:list> element with zero or more <maint:listItem> 
>> child elements.
>> Section 3.1.4 “EPP <poll> Command”
>> Revise the sentence “The poll message applies whenever the domain name 
>> registry creates, or delete maintenance” to “A poll message applies when a 
>> maintenance is created, updated, or deleted.”. 
>>                                                               i.      The 
>> domain name registry is not defined anywhere and it typically is referred to 
>> as “the server”. 
>> I would revise the second paragraph to read like and I would include it as 
>> the last sentence of the first paragraph:
>>                                                               i.      The 
>> <maint:infData> element contains the <maint:item> element defined in Section 
>> 2.3. 
>> I would remove the third paragraph “Please see the definition of <maint> 
>> elements in Section 2.3”.
>> Section 4 “Formal Syntax”
>> I would replace BEGIN with <CODE BEGINS> and END with <CODE ENDS>.
>>                                                               i.      This 
>> change was requested by the IESG with the Login Security Extension 
>> (https://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc8807 <https://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc8807>)  
>>  
>> Thanks,
>>  
>> -- 
>>  
>> JG
>> 
>> <image001.png>
>> 
>> James Gould
>> Fellow Engineer
>> jgo...@verisign.com 
>> <applewebdata://13890C55-AAE8-4BF3-A6CE-B4BA42740803/jgo...@verisign.com>
>> 
>> 703-948-3271
>> 12061 Bluemont Way
>> Reston, VA 20190
>> 
>> Verisign.com <http://verisigninc.com/>
>>  
>> From: Tobias Sattler <satt...@united-domains.de 
>> <mailto:satt...@united-domains.de>>
>> Date: Tuesday, December 8, 2020 at 3:09 AM
>> To: James Gould <jgo...@verisign.com <mailto:jgo...@verisign.com>>
>> Cc: "regext@ietf.org <mailto:regext@ietf.org>" <regext@ietf.org 
>> <mailto:regext@ietf.org>>
>> Subject: [EXTERNAL] Re: [regext] I-D Action: 
>> draft-ietf-regext-epp-registry-maintenance-05.txt
>>  
>> Hi Jim,
>>  
>> We addressed your feedback and submitted the new version.
>>  
>> Thanks,
>> Tobias
>> 
>> 
>>> On 1. Dec 2020, at 15:58, Tobias Sattler <satt...@united-domains.de 
>>> <mailto:satt...@united-domains.de>> wrote:
>>>  
>>> Hi Jim,
>>>  
>>> Thank you for your swift feedback.
>>>  
>>> We will go through it and make the adjustments where needed.
>>>  
>>> Best,
>>> Tobias
>>> 
>>> 
>>>> On 1. Dec 2020, at 15:35, Gould, James 
>>>> <jgould=40verisign....@dmarc.ietf.org 
>>>> <mailto:jgould=40verisign....@dmarc.ietf.org>> wrote:
>>>>  
>>>> In reviewing draft-ietf-regext-epp-registry-maintenance-05, below is my 
>>>> feedback:
>>>>  
>>>> 1.       Replace “defnition” with “definition” in two places.
>>>> 2.       Section 2.3 Maintenance Elements
>>>> a.       I would modify the description of the <maint:item> element.  
>>>> Specifically, change the second sentence to read like “This element is 
>>>> used in a maintenance item EPP <info> response and <poll> message.”.
>>>> 3.       Section 3.1.3.1 “Query one maintenance item”
>>>> a.       The name “Query one maintenance item” could be shortened to “Info 
>>>> Maintenance Item”.
>>>> b.       I would explicitly define the Info Maintenance Item command 
>>>> element (<maint:id>) without making the reference to Section 2.3, since 
>>>> Section 2.3 defines the Info Maintenance Item Response. 
>>>> c.       The command example incorrectly references 
>>>> <maint:impact>blackout</maint:impact> instead of 
>>>> <maint:impact>full</maint:impact>.
>>>> d.       The dates in the response example should be updated to more 
>>>> recent dates (e.g., update 2017 to 2020)
>>>> e.       I would define the response similar to:
>>>>                                                                i.      
>>>> When an <info> command has been processed successfully, the EPP <resData> 
>>>> element MUST contain a child <maint:infData> element that identifies the 
>>>> maintenance namespace.  The <maint:infData> element contains the 
>>>> <maint:item> element defined in Section 2.3.
>>>> 4.       Section 3.1.3.2 “Query maintenance list”
>>>> a.       The name could be updated to “Info Maintenance List”.
>>>> b.       I would explicitly define the Info Maintenance List element 
>>>> (<maint:list/>), which is an empty element to indicate an Info Maintenance 
>>>> List command.
>>>> c.       The dates in the response example should be updated to more 
>>>> recent dates (e.g., update 2017 to 2020)
>>>> d.       I would define the response similar to:
>>>>                                                                i.      
>>>> When an <info> command has been processed successfully, the EPP <resData> 
>>>> element MUST contain a child <maint:infData> element that identifies the 
>>>> maintenance namespace.  The <maint:infData> element contains the 
>>>> <maint:list> element with a list of <maint:listItem> elements.  The 
>>>> <maint:listItem> element contains the following child elements:
>>>> 1.  <maint:id>: <maint:id> defined in Section 2.3.
>>>> 2.  <maint:start>: <maint:start> defined in Section 2.3.
>>>> 3.  <maint:end>: <maint:end> defined in Section 2.3.
>>>> 4.  <maint:crDate>: <maint:crDate> defined in Section 2.3.
>>>> 5.  <maint:upDate>: OPTIONAL <maint:upDate> defined in Section 2.3.
>>>> 5.       Sect 3.1.4 “EPP <poll> Command”
>>>> a.       The dates in the poll response example should be updated to more 
>>>> recent dates (e.g., update 2017 to 2020)
>>>>  
>>>> -- 
>>>>  
>>>> JG
>>>>  
>>>>  
>>>>  
>>>> James Gould
>>>> Fellow Engineer
>>>> jgo...@verisign.com <mailto:jgo...@verisign.com> 
>>>> <applewebdata://13890C55-AAE8-4BF3-A6CE-B4BA42740803/jgo...@verisign.com 
>>>> <applewebdata://13890C55-AAE8-4BF3-A6CE-B4BA42740803/jgo...@verisign.com>>
>>>>  
>>>> 703-948-3271
>>>> 12061 Bluemont Way
>>>> Reston, VA 20190
>>>>  
>>>> Verisign.com <http://verisign.com/> <http://verisigninc.com/ 
>>>> <http://secure-web.cisco.com/1Q7FeDJQhN16gb_93Fht5OZbhpGmfeKUcS0zReQ25sb0CY45l_P0DxHSTU-CpHKvynF3t7biGXCqV74SwtWXpTdeyLPeGF4wuSFs-eOdyUaG2ECdXp9yRPUXKIRvHVQMQTGNXCETjvIgcgjx2UfVz1r7VK5AwnUIL88iY1a9SMqNCNRy6EhkW-Z2Ee4JHOCCs96Jy0RBIn6annwmp7E8dKYWo2r1KSGXwgkLrSB65l2yCKhTTfx67G2_mtmalqeRqbCgPwXB5fMMJayvqMmp5mTY2jM8e0Tf4tMdRyBIv170/http%3A%2F%2Fverisigninc.com%2F>>
>>>>  
>>>> On 12/1/20, 7:32 AM, "regext on behalf of internet-dra...@ietf.org 
>>>> <mailto:internet-dra...@ietf.org>" <regext-boun...@ietf.org 
>>>> <mailto:regext-boun...@ietf.org> on behalf of internet-dra...@ietf.org 
>>>> <mailto:internet-dra...@ietf.org>> wrote:
>>>>  
>>>>     A New Internet-Draft is available from the on-line Internet-Drafts 
>>>> directories.
>>>>     This draft is a work item of the Registration Protocols Extensions WG 
>>>> of the IETF.
>>>>  
>>>>             Title           : Registry Maintenance Notifications for the 
>>>> Extensible Provisioning Protocol (EPP)
>>>>             Authors         : Tobias Sattler
>>>>                               Roger Carney
>>>>                               Jody Kolker
>>>>                 Filename        : 
>>>> draft-ietf-regext-epp-registry-maintenance-05.txt
>>>>                 Pages           : 20
>>>>                 Date            : 2020-12-01
>>>>  
>>>>     Abstract:
>>>>        This document describes an Extensible Provision Protocol (EPP)
>>>>        mapping for registry's maintenance notifications.
>>>>  
>>>>  
>>>>     The IETF datatracker status page for this draft is:
>>>>     
>>>> https://secure-web.cisco.com/1li8mLoCxeVjC53-tGvYzKD4YcjkoE6Ev-IZRxp8KydPQ9dy_dgHOxizxSu23hsx4RZVoh7T-GMHV8zzq0pNGEZqcIUucZuoE6CiU1K8nM-bkcRygXmVdp3F6IUnzumkKuauScX42WmKG3nZr5M5pzix-u_BLsV61qGnHT0yCC-E7kdUw4ZjoJ_Gs8-hgv9eabShu15czchF07EvEhnXBjZGQ3xXpcztwDy3pitq834n2SIblYBWUMsF2dJUQTlJi7Q9o-v8tOLMf5xtlZWSLcA/https%3A%2F%2Fdatatracker.ietf.org%2Fdoc%2Fdraft-ietf-regext-epp-registry-maintenance%2F
>>>>  
>>>> <https://secure-web.cisco.com/1li8mLoCxeVjC53-tGvYzKD4YcjkoE6Ev-IZRxp8KydPQ9dy_dgHOxizxSu23hsx4RZVoh7T-GMHV8zzq0pNGEZqcIUucZuoE6CiU1K8nM-bkcRygXmVdp3F6IUnzumkKuauScX42WmKG3nZr5M5pzix-u_BLsV61qGnHT0yCC-E7kdUw4ZjoJ_Gs8-hgv9eabShu15czchF07EvEhnXBjZGQ3xXpcztwDy3pitq834n2SIblYBWUMsF2dJUQTlJi7Q9o-v8tOLMf5xtlZWSLcA/https%3A%2F%2Fdatatracker.ietf.org%2Fdoc%2Fdraft-ietf-regext-epp-registry-maintenance%2F>
>>>>  
>>>>     There are also htmlized versions available at:
>>>>     
>>>> https://secure-web.cisco.com/1S6_PU9v_ZkWX9nWp6WP47Od0hWHICawFbyNoykQ6CD7yvG7EpPWyV2XcTGNB60pzVywp_LjRV-wPBbVt7XptxNhGqCGxm4Zihg4MoaiCDcHXbrQPw3IzXF30wCX4DTMCQD2S9PmF2mpQ9i74fwPzhclx0RtAyhDG-mI0VwhiH9_PzB9t57cO3jvzWA3fEIgSL6H6z71YjNr5CgarKpreOKxtbWxyy2gQw1kAfy1waFnV5vIif11v_zgPjEL7IUsUNva6DcWIjZMhYqspuhwKAaSa8M5u8D3iJ5Jj7ByMf-8/https%3A%2F%2Ftools.ietf.org%2Fhtml%2Fdraft-ietf-regext-epp-registry-maintenance-05
>>>>  
>>>> <https://secure-web.cisco.com/1S6_PU9v_ZkWX9nWp6WP47Od0hWHICawFbyNoykQ6CD7yvG7EpPWyV2XcTGNB60pzVywp_LjRV-wPBbVt7XptxNhGqCGxm4Zihg4MoaiCDcHXbrQPw3IzXF30wCX4DTMCQD2S9PmF2mpQ9i74fwPzhclx0RtAyhDG-mI0VwhiH9_PzB9t57cO3jvzWA3fEIgSL6H6z71YjNr5CgarKpreOKxtbWxyy2gQw1kAfy1waFnV5vIif11v_zgPjEL7IUsUNva6DcWIjZMhYqspuhwKAaSa8M5u8D3iJ5Jj7ByMf-8/https%3A%2F%2Ftools.ietf.org%2Fhtml%2Fdraft-ietf-regext-epp-registry-maintenance-05>
>>>>     
>>>> https://secure-web.cisco.com/1XNpISpXfN8MQw1PEsPccAZ0_sZLESxXSKZD_sTvZwJ0QIufYJqXbGF7wdOTdR-pMMnOEH9LNrozfFZ1A4is0CHnJTuDLvhWgwwQ6ZQnpUxrk49oTY2HM7dgf9sbMhl_d2NuioFX8zj9eDSza6SYpZNMAQWA6mWsaobZSEHoaDcBsvWALD0as2Ko7xiWtIyrzb8YC5d0FfZnjNNkjDeILwCeXKqeU6UPGFZ1_1-2vHpW1yad8vgx2YnKBz42vnOcggnzk5g6kBEpntmhY1sKUkA/https%3A%2F%2Fdatatracker.ietf.org%2Fdoc%2Fhtml%2Fdraft-ietf-regext-epp-registry-maintenance-05
>>>>  
>>>> <https://secure-web.cisco.com/1XNpISpXfN8MQw1PEsPccAZ0_sZLESxXSKZD_sTvZwJ0QIufYJqXbGF7wdOTdR-pMMnOEH9LNrozfFZ1A4is0CHnJTuDLvhWgwwQ6ZQnpUxrk49oTY2HM7dgf9sbMhl_d2NuioFX8zj9eDSza6SYpZNMAQWA6mWsaobZSEHoaDcBsvWALD0as2Ko7xiWtIyrzb8YC5d0FfZnjNNkjDeILwCeXKqeU6UPGFZ1_1-2vHpW1yad8vgx2YnKBz42vnOcggnzk5g6kBEpntmhY1sKUkA/https%3A%2F%2Fdatatracker.ietf.org%2Fdoc%2Fhtml%2Fdraft-ietf-regext-epp-registry-maintenance-05>
>>>>  
>>>>     A diff from the previous version is available at:
>>>>     
>>>> https://secure-web.cisco.com/1KSWNQPojpKmLvO_WIQ_irF2tlGnvVG0NPX5XV846TrqHNQ1N4Nnh4PreFg5v0DC0wn9U0sbBn1u2ZrTcuObqRweYR6CvUQFmHQTv8zi_xPnobTWzspaoT_WO3Hmp5APY41nDiHh4IuQkqTPiXNq6tATib3PopqsT9kHFgCTslmKqRe9GH3jhJgNoPxh4lTox7f5sDssSMM_Sx3dUV40K0iag_k-wRIhnkeBZwf9P6Dw7kl1tClmighR8iEjHf2cO1gZhmKA_WTzmYvg_vwL-vvEtrutRQMo0TyWX7OTMgOk/https%3A%2F%2Fwww.ietf.org%2Frfcdiff%3Furl2%3Ddraft-ietf-regext-epp-registry-maintenance-05
>>>>  
>>>> <https://secure-web.cisco.com/1KSWNQPojpKmLvO_WIQ_irF2tlGnvVG0NPX5XV846TrqHNQ1N4Nnh4PreFg5v0DC0wn9U0sbBn1u2ZrTcuObqRweYR6CvUQFmHQTv8zi_xPnobTWzspaoT_WO3Hmp5APY41nDiHh4IuQkqTPiXNq6tATib3PopqsT9kHFgCTslmKqRe9GH3jhJgNoPxh4lTox7f5sDssSMM_Sx3dUV40K0iag_k-wRIhnkeBZwf9P6Dw7kl1tClmighR8iEjHf2cO1gZhmKA_WTzmYvg_vwL-vvEtrutRQMo0TyWX7OTMgOk/https%3A%2F%2Fwww.ietf.org%2Frfcdiff%3Furl2%3Ddraft-ietf-regext-epp-registry-maintenance-05>
>>>>  
>>>>  
>>>>     Please note that it may take a couple of minutes from the time of 
>>>> submission
>>>>     until the htmlized version and diff are available at tools.ietf.org 
>>>> <http://secure-web.cisco.com/1VYNKwPIGDGqP4zEybRxweq-ZAXkhaUb5DyFGW-xpwvzPr9V58uziKa0EH4p5F5Pdz9cu6fXJevjifJ7vkdf8bD2E-TkxqnhdCDhshvDBkZBFZNkqmsUZAQ8kSseoXCU-XoX2gRoh8iDMfVLR0wZxo7kIKoagrwKGI0OBbbrprvBiwp9r0dr1kESUpXETHie4_I_bQOplX6ySaWjRmUjuHa9CcqOqgXTsrWcJGXDVV5yRgoRl010b9xHjEwXk0CriP6EV_pX_5i3gzJK6VoqGy0Ud8pgRtDOU9V5qLtA1Ybw/http%3A%2F%2Ftools.ietf.org%2F>.
>>>>  
>>>>     Internet-Drafts are also available by anonymous FTP at:
>>>>     ftp://ftp.ietf.org/internet-drafts/ 
>>>> <ftp://ftp.ietf.org/internet-drafts/>
>>>>  
>>>>  
>>>>     _______________________________________________
>>>>     regext mailing list
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>>>> https://secure-web.cisco.com/1v2GmNiRW6LGBp9t0VmF4qf64EGWy5imLishTLvSm672F9aofELXoa5Vvzw1jGfadWXdD85jL-lLbbuTU_ugz0VCc3te-397rOJjLDv0NR80D6etQe8LMdvw1kjzNczvhvXphV0JlOT7ke70TQWpwNhQZbRG2bUBJ2VdVkHRsWCc-5mRwbrwOS6uEMUXD4CDYxVLSUsWuLlQ7rOH5viQJMbIasArywqdHgWETm7pcWtK-vh4Ryzg6QJFYoaSFdee8QhZ0jU7QcWc7RqVs4wPHeUGtcrcAic59uemX_otwo8s/https%3A%2F%2Fwww.ietf.org%2Fmailman%2Flistinfo%2Fregext
>>>>  
>>>> <https://secure-web.cisco.com/1v2GmNiRW6LGBp9t0VmF4qf64EGWy5imLishTLvSm672F9aofELXoa5Vvzw1jGfadWXdD85jL-lLbbuTU_ugz0VCc3te-397rOJjLDv0NR80D6etQe8LMdvw1kjzNczvhvXphV0JlOT7ke70TQWpwNhQZbRG2bUBJ2VdVkHRsWCc-5mRwbrwOS6uEMUXD4CDYxVLSUsWuLlQ7rOH5viQJMbIasArywqdHgWETm7pcWtK-vh4Ryzg6QJFYoaSFdee8QhZ0jU7QcWc7RqVs4wPHeUGtcrcAic59uemX_otwo8s/https%3A%2F%2Fwww.ietf.org%2Fmailman%2Flistinfo%2Fregext>
>>>>  
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