> Christmas Cookie Rules... > > 1. If you eat a Christmas cookie fresh out of the oven, it has no calories > because everyone knows that the first cookie is the test and thus calorie > free. > > 2. If you drink a diet soda after eating your second cookie, it also has > no calories because the diet soda cancels out the cookie calories. > > 3. If a friend comes over while you're making your Christmas cookies and > needs to sample, you must sample with your Friend. Because your friend's > first > cookie is calories free, Rule #1 is yours also. It would be rude to let > your friend sample alone and, being the friend that you are, that makes > your Cookie > calorie free. > > 4. Any cookie calories consumed while walking around will fall to your > feet and eventually fall off as you move. This is due to gravity and the > density > of the caloric mass. > > 5. Any calories consumed during the frosting of the Christmas cookies will > be used up because it takes many calories to lick excess frosting from a > knife > without cutting your tongue. > > 6. Cookies colored red or green have very few calories. Red ones have > three and green ones have five - one calorie for each letter. Make more > red ones! > > 7. Cookies eaten while watching "Miracle on 34th Street" have no calories > because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's > personal > fuel. > > 8. As always, cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of > breaking causes calorie leakage. > > 9. Any cookies consumed from someone else's plate have no calories since > the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to their > plate. > We all know how calories like to cling! > > 10. Any cookies consumed while feeling stressed have no calories because > cookies used for medicinal purposes NEVER have Calories. It's a rule! >
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