On 16/5/04, TROUBLE, discombobulated, offered:
[snip]
Just going back to carry-on weight, I really wouldn't worry too much
because if for any reason (after you have checked in your hold baggage)
someone later says 'excuse me mam, but that carry-on bag looks rather
heavy....' you can say 'yes, what about it?'
'Well, you're only allowed 7 Kg'
'Sorry old chum but I have all my make-up in this bag and where I go, it
goes'.
'Well I'm afraid it's overweight and we can't allow you on with all that'.
'Oh really, so what do you propose I do?'
'I'm afraid you'll have to leave it all behind except for the hair
curling tongue'
'Oh I don't think so Jackeroo'
'Well you're not getting on with that'
'Okay, fine'.
'Pardon me?'
'I said fine. I won't get on'.
Er...?'
'And do you know what will happen if I don't get on?'
'Your hubby will come and weld my butt to the tower?'
'Nope - if i don't get on, you're going to have to get on your little
radio and call up your boss and tell them that a nice lady with a bit of
a hump on, refuses to get on the plane unless her make-up bag gets on as
well. And if I don't get on, then that means you will have to retrieve my
hold baggage, because then it will be UNACCOMPANIED, and that's a no-no.
And to retrieve it, that means opening up those nice big doors and
rifling about for my other bags, and guess what - that means that the
plane might well just miss it's take-off window, and guess what happens
THEN!!! Might need to top off the tanks, might need to reschedule
departure, might need to call an ambulance for when the airline manager
comes down and busts your pimply ass!!'
'Er, yes I see.'
'So, are you going to let me on with my small and dainty make-up bag that
weighs the same as three Boeing 747 landing wheels?'
'This way please miss, welcome aboard Qantas flight 666, please have a
seat and enjoy your flight'.
'Naff off you slimy little twerp'.
.....or words to that effect.
No worries, you'll get on ;-)
