Hi, clearly a case for the Pentax Nocta and a 2X eggs tender...
or, rig up something like the things wildlife photographers use to get animals to photograph themselves by triggering an infra-red beam. Set up two cameras, one with a wide-angle lens to capture the throw and the ovoid trajectory towards your house, the other to capture the perp's criminal physiognomy. Let the trip wire trigger the cameras and flash simultaneously. Also, perhaps, have it release a net from the tree, or spring a rope round his ankle. Alternatively, hide behind the tree on indicated nights, and jump on him when he tosses the embryos. When you've caught him, don't punish him! No, forgive him. Show him true Christian love. Repeatedly. Sing hymns at him. Show him your other cheeks. Teach him the meaning of God's Love by standing over him and reading from the authorised version for several hours, very, very loudly. Make him an omelette and insist that he eat it. Then make another. And another. Make him eat omelettes until they ooze out of his eyeballs. Then ask him why he did it. Why? Keep asking. Why? Why? After an hour or 2, start crying. Beg for his forgiveness. Try to make it up to him. Take him for a drive in the desert, at night. When you get somewhere really lonely, drive off the road for a couple of miles, and make him start digging a hole. While he's digging, pick your teeth with a Bowie knife, and hum 'Bohemian Rhapsody', off-key. When the hole's big enough, tell him to get in the trunk of your car. Drive him back to the tree, drop him off and say 'Thanks, Bubba. Must do it agin sometime'. That always works for me. Hannibob. Wow, I've just had another great idea. Get some explosives and wire them up so that when the egg hits the house, the entire village explodes! That's gonna make him feel really sheepish thinking he did it! And it'll get the police to pay some attention. Monday, June 2, 2003, 5:25:58 PM, you wrote: > Here's a situation: > For four out of the past eight Friday nights > (every one when it wasn't raining or otherwise > too vile to be out and about), somebody has been > pelting the front of my house with raw eggs. It's > always Friday, always between 21:00 and 22:00, > always two eggs. And it's getting old. Really old. > The village where I live has no police force; > the county and state cops have bigger fish to > catch on Friday nights. > This past Friday my wife happened to be looking > out the front window and caught a glimpse of the > perp winging an egg. Not a good enough glimpse for > an ID, but enought to know it's a teenager using > as cover the deep shadows in the yard across the street. > Having thought of and dismissed many solutions that > involve physical violence, since they won't let me > use my Pentax gear in jail (assuming it hadn't already > been sold off to pay fines and costs), I'm wondering > if there's a photographic solution. > I've got an LX, a 300/4, an AF400T, and an AF2T > flash extender. The distance from the observed launch > point to a hiding spot behind my front hedge is about > 120 feet. Have I got the ingredients for a photo ID > I can take to the local juvenile authorities? > Hints, tips, advice, and/or "creative solutions" ;-) > will be greatly appreciated.
