I read 
https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html
 in its entirety, resulting in these suggestions.  Some are for readability.  
Some are for consistency with related specifications, including JWT.  Some are 
for security and correctness.  The most important comments, including those 
addressing correctness issues, are in red.

Abstract<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#abstract>:
 In "It encompasses various applications, including but not limited to the 
selective disclosure of JSON Web Token (JWT) claims.", change "encompasses 
various" to "can be used for multiple" or "is applicable to multiple".  The use 
of "encompasses" is confusing here, and "various" isn't a strong word.

1. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-1>
 
Introduction<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-introduction>:
  In "However, that does not preclude the mechanism's applicability to other or 
more general applications of JWS with JSON payloads.", delete "or more 
general", since it doesn't add anything but length.

1. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-1>
 
Introduction<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-introduction>:
  Change "Web Authorization Protocol (oauth) working group" to "Web 
Authorization Protocol (OAuth) working group".

1. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-1>
 
Introduction<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-introduction>:
  In "While JWTs with claims describing natural persons are a common use case, 
the mechanisms defined in this document can be used for other use cases as 
well." change "can be used for other use cases as well" to "are also applicable 
other use cases" to tighten the exposition.

1. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-1>
 
Introduction<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-introduction>:
  The usage of "Holder" in "used a number of times by the user (the "Holder" of 
the JWT)" inconsistent with its usage in the definitions, which defines 
"Holder" as being "an entity".  The usage here in the introduction makes the 
holder into a person rather than an entity.  Please adjust the language here to 
not confuse the user who utilizes the holder with the holder itself.

1. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-1>
 
Introduction<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-introduction>:
  The use of the undefined terms "verifiable credential" and "credential" in 
"One example of a multi-use JWT is a verifiable credential, an Issuer-signed 
credential that contains the claims about a subject, and whose authenticity can 
be cryptographically verified." will almost certainly cause people to ask you 
to define them, and then people will argue about the definitions.  Get rid of 
both terms by changing this to "One example of a multi-use JWT is an 
Issuer-signed token that contains claims about a subject, and whose 
authenticity can be cryptographically verified." and save us some grief!  
(Although I see that "credential" is used later.  At least ditch "verifiable 
credential" here!)

1. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-1>
 
Introduction<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-introduction>:
  In ""Claims" here refers to both object properties (name-value pairs) as well 
as array elements." and all other locations in the spec, change "name-value" to 
"name/value" for consistency with the notation in the "Claim" definition at 
https://www.rfc-editor.org/rfc/rfc7519.html#section-2.

1. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-1>
 
Introduction<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-introduction>:
  In ""Claims" here refers to both object properties (name-value pairs) as well 
as array elements." change "array elements" to "elements in arrays that are the 
values of name/value pairs" (or something like that).  Without saying what the 
array elements are, readers will be confused about what's being referred to.  
I'd apply this clarification in 4.1. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-4.1>
 SD-JWT and 
Disclosures<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-sd-jwt-and-disclosures>
 and other applicable locations as well.

1. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-1>
 
Introduction<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-introduction>:
  In "they hold the private key associated to the SD-JWT", change "associated 
to" to "associated with".

1. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-1>
 
Introduction<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-introduction>:
  During IESG and/or RFC Editor review, we're likely going to be asked to add a 
reference for JSON-LD at "SD-JWT can be used with any JSON-based representation 
of claims, including JSON-LD."  If we don't want that, I'd delete ", including 
JSON-LD" now.

1.1. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-1.1>
 Feature 
Summary<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-feature-summary>:
  Shorten both uses of "The definition in this document comprises the 
following:" to "This comprises the following:" to tighten the exposition.

1.1. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-1.1>
 Feature 
Summary<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-feature-summary>:
  In "A format for enabling selective disclosure in nested JSON data 
structures, supporting selectively disclosable object properties (name-value 
pairs) and array elements", consider expanding "array elements" in the same 
manner as the preceding comment to make the meaning more evident.

1.1. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-1.1>
 Feature 
Summary<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-feature-summary>:
  In "A facility for associating an SD-JWT to a key pair", change "to a key 
pair" to "with a key pair", as it reads more naturally.

1.2. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-1.2>
 Conventions and 
Terminology<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-conventions-and-terminology>:
  I suggest moving the "base64url" definition to the Terms and Definitions 
section and use a parallel structure to that at 
https://www.rfc-editor.org/rfc/rfc7519.html#section-2.  Specifically, say "The 
"base64url" term denotes the URL-safe base64 encoding without padding defined 
in Section 2 of [RFC7515]."  Then introduce the rest of the definitions with 
the phrase "These terms are defined by this specification:" as is done in RFC 
7519.  The current presentation is fairly jarring.

1.2. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-1.2>
 Conventions and 
Terminology<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-conventions-and-terminology>:
  Change "Selective disclosure" to "Selective Disclosure".

4.3. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-4.3>
 Optional Key 
Binding<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-optional-key-binding>:
  Change "use-case" to "use case".

4.3. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-4.3>
 Optional Key 
Binding<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-optional-key-binding>:
  This disclaimer seems too strong: "Note: How the public key is included in 
SD-JWT is out of scope of this document. It can be passed by value or by 
reference.".  I suggest changing this to "Means of including or referencing the 
public key in the SD-JWT are described in 5.1.2. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-5.1.2>
 Key 
Binding<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-key-binding>."

5.2.1. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-5.2.1>
 Disclosures for Object 
Properties<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-disclosures-for-object-prop>:
  In "It is RECOMMENDED to base64url-encode minimum 128 bits of 
cryptographically secure random data", insert "a" before "minimum".  Also, 
consider moving "See Section 
10.3<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#salt-entropy>
 for security considerations." to the end of the paragraph.

5.2.1. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-5.2.1>
 Disclosures for Object 
Properties<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-disclosures-for-object-prop>:
  In "The value MAY be of any type that is allowed in JSON, including numbers, 
strings, booleans, arrays, and objects.", consider adding "null".  Likewise in 
5.2.2. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-5.2.2>
 Disclosures for Array 
Elements<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-disclosures-for-array-eleme>.

5.2.1. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-5.2.1>
 Disclosures for Object 
Properties<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-disclosures-for-object-prop>:
  In "US-ASCII 
[RFC0020<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#RFC0020>]",
 consider changing "RFC0020" to the more readable and standard "RFC20", 
matching the reference identifier used at 
https://www.rfc-editor.org/rfc/rfc7519.html#section-13.1.

5.2.2. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-5.2.2>
 Disclosures for Array 
Elements<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-disclosures-for-array-eleme>:
  Some readers and implementers will be confused at this point because the 
array disclosure doesn't indicate what Claim Name the disclosed array element 
corresponds to.  Please say here how the Claim Name information is 
communicated.  At the very least, add a forward reference saying that the way 
the array element disclosure is associated with the Claim Name is described in 
5.2.4.2. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-5.2.4.2>
 Array 
Elements<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-array-elements>.

5.2.3. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-5.2.3>
 Hashing 
Disclosures<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-hashing-disclosures>:
  Consider changing "(often used)" to "(sometimes used)".

5.2.3. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-5.2.3>
 Hashing 
Disclosures<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-hashing-disclosures>:
  Change "For example, the SHA-256 digest of the Disclosure" to "For example, 
the base64url-encoded SHA-256 digest of the Disclosure" .  And add 
"base64url-encoded" to the second example as well (for correctness).

5.2.4.1. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-5.2.4.1>
 Object 
Properties<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-object-properties>:
  Change "family_name" to "given_name" to match the example.

5.2.4.2. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-5.2.4.2>
 Array 
Elements<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-array-elements>:
  I suggest adding an example also enabling disclosing a second array element, 
so that the syntax will be clear to readers.  In other words, show what "unless 
a matching Disclosure for the second element is received" would look like.  Or 
add a forward reference showing a place that it's done.

5.2.6. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-5.2.6>
 Recursive 
Disclosures<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-recursive-disclosures>:
  Change "conceal presence" to "conceal the presence".

5.3. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-5.3>
 Key Binding 
JWT<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-key-binding-jwt>:
  Change "MUST NOT be none." to "It MUST NOT be "none".".

5.3.2. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-5.3.2>
 Validating the Key Binding 
JWT<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-validating-the-key-binding->:
  In "if the SD-JWT contains a cnf value with a jwk member, the Verifier could 
parse the provided JWK and use it to verify the Key Binding JWT.", change 
"could" to "MUST".  Make this normative to increase interoperability!

6.1. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-6.1>
 
Issuance<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-issuance>:
  In "The Issuer is using the following input claim set:", consider changing 
"claim set" to "JWT Claims Set", so that you're using the standard JWT claims 
terminology.  Or at least, change "claim set" to "Claims Set" (plural) wherever 
"claim set" is currently used, such as also in 7. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-7>
 Considerations on Nested Data in 
SD-JWTs<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-considerations-on-nested-da>.

6.1. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-6.1>
 
Issuance<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-issuance>:
  There are many places from here on where the label "SHA-256 Hash" is used, 
for instance "SHA-256 Hash: jsu9yVulwQQlhFlM_3JlzMaSFzglhQG0DpfayQwLUK4".  
Change all of these to "Base64url-Encoded SHA-256 Hash" for correctness.

6.1. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-6.1>
 
Issuance<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-issuance>:
  Change "The payload is then signed by the Issuer to create a JWT like the 
following:" to "The payload is then signed by the Issuer to create the JWT:"

6.1. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-6.1>
 
Issuance<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-issuance>:
  Change "The issued SD-JWT might look as follows:" to "The issued SD-JWT would 
be as follows:" or "The issued SD-JWT would be:".

6.1. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-6.1>
 
Issuance<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-issuance>:
  Change "The following Key Binding JWT payload was created and signed for this 
presentation by the Holder:" to "The following Key Binding JWT Claims Set was 
created and signed for this presentation by the Holder:", again, to use the 
standard JWT claims terminology.

7. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-7>
 Considerations on Nested Data in 
SD-JWTs<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-considerations-on-nested-da>:
  Change "Important: The following examples" to "Note that the following 
examples".  It's more standard exposition and less jarring.

7.2. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-7.2>
 Example: Structured 
SD-JWT<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-example-structured-sd-jwt>:
  Change "In this case there would be no Disclosure for country since it is 
provided in the clear." to "In this case, there would be no Disclosure for 
country, since it is provided in the clear." (adding the two missing commas).

8.1. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-8.1>
 Verification of the 
SD-JWT<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-verification-of-the-sd-jwt>:
  Delete "nbf" from "claims such as nbf, iat, and exp" and everywhere else in 
the spec, other than in 10.7. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-10.7>
 Selectively-Disclosable Validity 
Claims<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-selectively-disclosable-val>,
 where both "iat" and "nbf" should be listed, as described in my comment there. 
 "iat" (Issued At) is a standard validity claim in JWT tokens (for instance, ID 
Tokens), whereas "nbf" (Not Before) is rarely used, since it is only useful 
when future-dating tokens, which is rare.

8.2. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-8.2>
 Processing by the 
Holder<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-processing-by-the-holder>:
  In "If the Holder receives an SD-JWT+KB, it SHOULD be rejected.", change 
"SHOULD" to "MUST".  Make it normative and thereby more secure.

9.1. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-9.1>
 New Unprotected Header 
Parameters<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-new-unprotected-header-para>:
  Change "the representation as a regular SD-JWT MUST be created temporarily" 
to "the representation as a regular SD-JWT where the JWT uses the JWS Compact 
Serialization MUST be created temporarily" or something similar.  The key point 
is to indicate that the regular SD-JWT being referenced uses the JWS Compact 
Serialization for the JWT in the SD-JWT.  You also may want to rework this to 
also eliminate the somewhat ambiguous "using a . character as a separator" 
language in favor of describing the result as using the JWS Compact 
Serialization.

10.1. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-10.1>
 Mandatory Signing of the Issuer-signed 
JWT<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-mandatory-signing-of-the-is>:
  Change "Any of the JWS asymmetric digital signature algorithms registered in 
[IANA.JWS.Algorithms<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#IANA.JWS.Algorithms>]
 can be used, including post-quantum algorithms, when they are ready." to "Any 
of the JWS asymmetric digital signature algorithms registered in 
[IANA.JWS.Algorithms<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#IANA.JWS.Algorithms>]
 meeting the security requirements of the application, as described in the last 
paragraph of Section 5.2 of [RFC7515], can be used."  It's NOT, in general, the 
case that any registered algorithm can be used.  That's up to the application.  
For instance, "ES512" might be acceptable to the application whereas "RS256" 
isn't.  Also, the post-quantum language seems superfluous and non-actionable, 
so I'd delete it.

10.3. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-10.3>
 Entropy of the 
salt<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-entropy-of-the-salt>:
  Change "salt" to "Salt" in the title.

10.7. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-10.7>
 Selectively-Disclosable Validity 
Claims<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-selectively-disclosable-val>:
  Add "iat (Issued At) to the validity claims list before "nbf", and change 
"nbf (Not Before)" to "nbf (Not Before) (if present)".  "iat" (Issued At) is a 
standard validity claim in JWT tokens (for instance, ID Tokens), whereas "nbf" 
(Not Before) is rarely used, since it is only useful when future-dating tokens, 
which is rare.  Change all uses of "nbf" to "iat" elsewhere in the spec.

10.7. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-10.7>
 Selectively-Disclosable Validity 
Claims<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-selectively-disclosable-val>:
  Change "application-specific profile" to "application-specific profiles".

10.10. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-10.10>
 Integrity of SD-JWTs and 
SD-JWT+KBs<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-integrity-of-sd-jwts-and-sd>:
  In "The specific set of Disclosures, however, is not integrity-protected - 
the SD-JWT can be modified by adding or removing Disclosures and still be 
valid.", change the dash to a period or semicolon.

11.1. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-11.1>
 Storage of Signed User 
Data<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-storage-of-signed-user-data>:
  Change "OpenID Connect" to "OpenID Connect [OpenID.Core]" and add the 
following reference to the specification:

      <reference anchor="OpenID.Core" 
target=https://openid.net/specs/openid-connect-core-1_0.html>
        <front>
          <title>OpenID Connect Core 1.0</title>

          <author fullname="Nat Sakimura" initials="N." surname="Sakimura">
            <organization abbrev="NAT.Consulting (was at 
NRI)">NAT.Consulting</organization>
          </author>

          <author fullname="John Bradley" initials="J." surname="Bradley">
            <organization abbrev="Yubico (was at Ping 
Identity)">Yubico</organization>
          </author>

          <author fullname="Michael B. Jones" initials="M.B." surname="Jones">
            <organization abbrev="Self-Issued Consulting (was at 
Microsoft)">Self-Issued Consulting</organization>
          </author>

          <author fullname="Breno de Medeiros" initials="B." surname="de 
Medeiros">
            <organization abbrev="Google">Google</organization>
          </author>

                  <author fullname="Chuck Mortimore" initials="C." 
surname="Mortimore">
                    <organization abbrev="Disney (was at 
Salesforce)">Disney</organization>
                  </author>

          <date day="15" month="December" year="2023"/>
        </front>
      </reference>

12. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-12>
 
Acknowledgements<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-acknowledgements>:
  Please change "Mike Jones" to "Michael B. Jones".  (Lots of people share my 
name so I include my middle initial for disambiguation in professional 
contexts.)

12. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-12>
 
Acknowledgements<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-acknowledgements>:
  Consider sorting the acknowledgements alphabetically by last name, which is 
the usual convention.

13.2. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-13.2>
 Media Type 
Registration<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-media-type-registration>
 and 13.3. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-13.3>
 Structured Syntax Suffix 
Registration<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-structured-syntax-suffix-re>:
 In all the Encoding Considerations, change "separated by period ('.') or tilde 
('~') characters" to "separated by period ('.') and tilde ('~') characters".

14.2. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-14.2>
 Informative 
References<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-informative-references>:
  Add the missing date to the reference "[EUDIW.ARF]".  And if isn't the most 
current public ARF reference, please update to the latest one.

14.2. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-14.2>
 Informative 
References<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-informative-references>:
  Update the reference "[I-D.ietf-oauth-sd-jwt-vc]" to 
https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/html/draft-ietf-oauth-sd-jwt-vc-04.

14.2. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-14.2>
 Informative 
References<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-informative-references>:
  Update the reference "[OIDC.IDA]" to 
https://openid.net/specs/openid-connect-4-identity-assurance-1_0-14.html and be 
sure to include the (currently missing) date.

14.2. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#section-14.2>
 Informative 
References<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-informative-references>:
  Update the reference "[VC_DATA_v2.0]" to use the current editor list and 
date.  (For instance, Orie resigned.)

Appendix A. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#appendix-A>
 Additional 
Examples<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-additional-examples>:
  Consider changing "Important: The following examples" to "Note that the 
following examples".  "Important" is unnecessarily jarring.

A.1. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#appendix-A.1>
 Simple Structured 
SD-JWT<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-simple-structured-sd-jwt>:
 Change "allowing to separately disclose individual members of the claim" to 
"allowing separate disclosure of individual members of the claim".

A.1. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#appendix-A.1>
 Simple Structured 
SD-JWT<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-simple-structured-sd-jwt>:
 Change "The following is how a presentation of the SD-JWT that discloses only 
region and country of the address property could look like:" to "The following 
is a presentation of the SD-JWT that discloses only region and country of the 
address:".  Similarly, excise other uses of the extra verbiage "could look 
like" elsewhere in the specification.

A.5. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#appendix-A.5>
 Elliptic Curve Key Used in the 
Examples<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-elliptic-curve-key-used-in->:
 Change "The public key used to validate a Key Binding JWT can be found in the 
examples as the content of the cnf claim." to "The public key used to validate 
a Key Binding JWT can be found in the examples as the value of the jwk member 
of the cnf claim."

Appendix B. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#appendix-B>
 Disclosure Format 
Considerations<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-disclosure-format-considera>:
 Change "particularly useful when the content, like JSON, can have differences 
but be semantically equivalent." to "particularly useful when the content, like 
JSON, can have different representations but is semantically equivalent, thus 
avoiding canonicalization."

Appendix B. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#appendix-B>
 Disclosure Format 
Considerations<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-disclosure-format-considera>:
 Change "computation over the data need to be performed and verified" to 
"computation over the data needs to be performed and verified".

Appendix B. 
<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#appendix-B>
 Disclosure Format 
Considerations<https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-oauth-selective-disclosure-jwt-10.html#name-disclosure-format-considera>:
 At the end of the paragraph introduced by "1. Canonicalization", consider 
adding the sentence "Canonicalization schemes have a long history of creating 
interoperability problems in practice."

Everywhere:  Consider changing the name "..." to something more indicative of 
its function, such as "_sd_element" or "_sd_item".  Or alternatively, at least 
provide rationale for why that non-obvious name was chosen.

I hope that you find this review helpful in improving the specification.  I 
look forward to its publication as an RFC and its widespread use!

                                                                -- Mike

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