There has been a lot of hot air on the list recently about the plight of our
club. The time for moaning has stopped - its now time for action.
If there is a possibility that KPMG can purchase the club for a £1 and sell
it on I'm prepared to put up a bid and I am offering any of you lot the
opportunity to come into partnership with me. I am not experienced in the
world of finance but if KPMG can get the club for £1 I am prepared to match
that bid and possibly even double it. If my bid of £1 is accepted I would by
paying 51p so I am the major share holder. If I have to go to £2 I would
cover £1.01p (do you get it - I'm still the major shareholder, its f*cking
easy this lark).
I suppose in keeping with business principles I should say a few things
about my approach to running "Leeds United 2007 and a bit":-
- no more cockneys;
- no more Frogs;
- no more Yanks;
- no more Noggies;
- no more paddies;
- no more jocks;
- no more taffs;
- communications policy will be the tried & tested mushroom school of
management;
- anyone standing at ER will be kicked out;
- anyone smoking at ER will be kicked out;
- anyone swearing at ER will be kicked out;
- anyone bringing their own food/drink into ER will be kicked out;
- anyone that can't get to their seat before KO at start of match or half
time will be kicked out;
- all stewarding by dwarfs so no obstructing of views;
- only decent looking females will be employed;
- anything I decide is final and no moaning; and,
- no more cockneys.
This list is not exhauistive. Believe it or not its just come off the top
off my head. I will not remove any of these principles but I am prepared to
add more.
If anyone is interested in joining my consortium (look at me with a
"consortium") I will need proof of funds. Just confirm in an e-mail you have
the ackers. Job done innit.
Finally, please don't share any of the figures I have quoted on what I am
prepared to bid with KPMG. I dont want to get into long drawn out
negotiations.
TTFN
Wall Street Shiela
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