Drastic Measures! My latest brainwave to follow below...
Let's get rid of everyone at Elland Road! All the players and all the staff including the tea ladies. We've got bad ju-ju from somewhere and we've got to get rid of it. Sell the whole fookin team! That's my answer! With the money we make lets target and raid the best teams in the Championship we have a chance of pinching players from. Attack wise these are the top 5 teams in the Championship: 1 Cardiff City 2 West Brom 3 Plymouth 4 Burnley 5 Norwich City Defence wise these are the top 10: 1 Cardiff City 2 Wolves 3 Preston NE 4 West Brom 5 Coventry City 6 Burnley 7 Leicester City 8 Stoke City 9 Colchester 10 Plymouth Out of those teams a lot we would have no chance of getting players from. There are just one or two teams we might be able to raid. For Attack perhaps we could target Plymouth. Lets pinch all their Strikers and Midfielders. We could let them have Healy in exchange plus one of the tea ladies and a years free supply of Yorkshire Puddings. For Defence perhaps we could target Colchester. We will take their entire defence including goalkeeper. We'll give them Butler and Crainey, and an option to buy Matthew Klingon. We could also call the New York Giants and buy Tiki Barber. This bloke does more running and covers more pitch in just one game than our entire team has for the whole season so far. Let's stick him at Left Back he couldn't do any bloody worse and will probably do a lot better despite having no knowledge of regular football. We deserve to bloody treat ouselves and witness white shirt movement in that corner. When was the last time we had a left back with pace? This is the current league table: 1 Cardiff City 12 9 2 1 25 9 +16 29 2 Preston North End 12 6 5 1 18 11 +7 23 3 West Bromwich Albion 12 6 4 2 21 11 +10 22 4 Wolverhampton Wanderers 12 7 1 4 10 10 0 22 5 Burnley 12 6 3 3 20 12 +8 21 6 Plymouth Argyle 12 5 5 2 20 15 +5 20 7 Luton Town 12 5 4 3 18 17 +1 19 8 Derby County 12 5 3 4 18 17 +1 18 9 Birmingham City 12 5 3 4 16 15 +1 18 10 Colchester United 12 5 2 5 17 14 +3 17 If we'd had the Colchester Defence and the Plymouth Attack since the start of the season we would currently be sitting pretty in approximately 8th position. If we have them starting from today for the rest of the season, by the end of the season we should be able to make it a couple of places into the top half of the table setting us up for a final position of about 10th or 11th. That would be a good recovery. If we don't do something the outcome could be a lot worse. One final thing is we have to call Fabian Barthez and get him to come and piss on every corner flag at Elland Road in consultation with Lucas of course. He should be able to advise him what kind of Ju-Ju we might have gotten and seen as they are both retired now I'm sure they won't mind doing that one friday night in time for the next days match which we should then be able to paste the other team off the park. Anyone else got any other good suggestions or ideas? Sniffer-Dog tHeFuTuReIsBrIgHt-ThEfUtUrEiSwHiTe.CoM Marching On Together _______________________________________________ the Leeds List is an unmoderated mailing list and the list administrators accept no liability for the personal views and opinions of contributors. Leedslist mailing list [email protected] http://list.zetnet.co.uk/mailman/listinfo/leedslist oh alright then :-)
